[Football] Banter - just an excuse for otherwise socially unacceptable behaviour

[Easy 10]

Exactly what was said and the context are irrelevant, the whole point is that whether she was being very sensitive or not, what I perceived as "banter" she perceived as victimisation. I was trying to be a fun boss by "having a laugh" and achieved the exact opposite.

People's perceptions of banter can be very different and most of the differences can be explained by who has the power in any given relationship.

 

[GT49er]

Why bother posting that?

I rather liked the irony. Your point in posting was.........?

 

[melias shoes]

Always lots of 'banter' in the military and I cant remember anyone complaining.

Some should try working on a building site. They'd cry their eyes out. The world is full of snowflakes these days.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Some should try working on a building site.

Why on earth would I want to do this? Way too cold and dirty.

 

[melias shoes]

Why on earth would I want to do this? Way too cold and dirty.

Plus you wouldn't be able to be on NSC all day long. You actually have to work.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Because soilders generally have screws loose

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I resent that accusation.....now please hold my donkey whilst I change gear with my polypropylene golf club

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Plus you wouldn't be able to be on NSC all day long. You actually have to work.

Quite, **** that.

 

[swindonseagull]

Did you ever supply bubbles for spirit levels, sky hooks or tartan paint?

K9P gel.........Long weights (waits) ......6 ft of Fallopian tubing at the med centre........left hand spanner/ screwdriver......sparks for the grinder...

Oh how we laughed......we all fell for them as young recruits....

 

[The Spanish]

What.positions were you interviewing for ?

The Royal Marines

 

[McTavish]

Some should try working on a building site. They'd cry their eyes out. The world is full of snowflakes these days.

Is it a good thing that there is behaviour on building sites that might make people who are "snowflakes" cry? If so why?

 

[melias shoes]

Is it a good thing that there is behaviour on building sites that might make people who are "snowflakes" cry? If so why?

Banter. Just banter but in this world of precious little darlings some can't handle banter. I wouldn't work anywhere else. Thick skin required.

 

[Steve in Japan]

Newsnight now. Lovely to see Stan Collymore opining on women's rights in football. Couldn't make it up.

 

[Steve in Japan]

But Stan now takes responsibility for his past behaviour. So that's alright. Errrrm.

 

[spring hall convert]

Don't be so stupid - you can argue that PC has gone mad and also disapprove of giving offence -they are not mutually exclusive. There is such a thing as correctness and rightly so, as we should all avoid trying to give offence to others. But, as we both know, there are in all walks of life fanatics determined to be offended, come what may, with its risks for free speech, and with the inevitable result that you are frightened to speak out, for fear of offending people That is how you end up with situations like we have witnessed in Rotherham -doubtless someone just like you would have been desperately offended when the dreadful accusation was made that white girls were being targeted by Asian men. How could they have said such a thing?

You can't disapprove of giving offence if your first instinct (as in McTavish's example) is to blame the person with the complaint.

I've actually read the Jay report and the police failings were more a case of not listening to the victims based on preconceptions regarding their backgrounds rather than the ethnicity of the perpetrators. It's actually a fairly good example of why people in authority should listen to people's experiences without predjudice rather than blindly do what they've always done convinced they're in the right despite evidence to the contrary.

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[spring hall convert]

Of course you are right about different perceptions and doubtless power may have something to do with it. Yes, she may well have misinterpreted your jokes, but what I was trying to say was that you should not necessarily beat yourself up over it. Some folk can be unreasonably sensitive and take correctness far too far. Might it be that she was determined to be the victim? You were there, I wasn't -I am just surmising and suggesting that the joker is not always at fault. Have you now changed your manner so that you don't joke with anyone at all for fear of "victimising" someone?

Isn't the point that good managers adapt their approach according to the individuals they have?

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[Seagull85]

Yes mate., joined up in nov 82 aged 17 , grenadier guards.

I was attached to the GG (Inkerman Coy) in 2009 / 2010 for their tour of Afghanistan, best 7 months of my army life, great guys.

 

[Hastings gull]

Isn't the point that good managers adapt their approach according to the individuals they have?

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Of course they should, but your question in this case is irrelevant, as the person had no idea, prior to the resignation, that their approach was counter-productive.

 

[spring hall convert]

Of course they should, but your question in this case is irrelevant, as the person had no idea, prior to the resignation, that their approach was counter-productive.

Which is why a period of self reflection is a far more positive response than seeking to blame the employee.

 

[Hastings gull]

You can't disapprove of giving offence if your first instinct (as in McTavish's example) is to blame the person with the complaint.

I've actually read the Jay report and the police failings were more a case of not listening to the victims based on preconceptions regarding their backgrounds rather than the ethnicity of the perpetrators. It's actually a fairly good example of why people in authority should listen to people's experiences without predjudice rather than blindly do what they've always done convinced they're in the right despite evidence to the contrary.

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No one is blaming the complainant -why should anyone do that if that is how she felt. But to be fair to mcT some folk can react like that to innocent banter, which has no obvious evil intent whatsoever. Had she stayed, he would doubtless have changed his way of going about things, knowing the effect of his banter. 99% (or whatever) of the time, his banter would have produced a different reaction. It happens all the time.

 

[Hastings gull]

Which is why a period of self reflection is a far more positive response than seeking to blame the employee.

See my latest post with regard to your obsession that someone needs to be blamed.