Albion in the north
Well-known member
Is this the right room for the terminally offended?
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[Football] Banter - just an excuse for otherwise socially unacceptable behaviour
- Thread starter severnside gull
- Start date
looney
Banned
- Jul 7, 2003
- 15,652
What you are saying is a degree of assumed consent, like giving is consent to receive. The problem is some feel entitled to give it out and also not receive it. As certain commentes and actions are "deserving" and a form of giving consent. This ranges from PC bludgeon terms like islamaphobia to a car driver yelling at a cyclist. In part drawn from a false sense of moral superiority and entitlement. The problem stems from management classes using mediation when they should be managing.
Football also have assumed consent which is why we can mock palace vermin without it descending into a blood feud and visa versa.
spring hall convert
Well-known member
Maybe you should have a look a lot closer to home as to who to blame if something happens to you.
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,638
It's quite worrying actually that you're unwilling to agree that there's a few bad eggs in your ranks, its like me saying there's no such thing as rouge traders.
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McTavish
Well-known member
- Nov 5, 2014
- 1,587
No, it's like you protesting if someone said "I have never met a plumber who is not a thieving, incompetent ****".
Ahhh finally the truth will set you free.
You got the hump because I didn't agree. Didums.
Using the quotes above where did you ask me if I thought there were a few bad eggs in my ranks? Had you asked that question I would have agreed. But no, you thought by saying about "soldiers (spelt correctly for you) generally have screws loose" and "every soilder I've come in contact with has been a thick as shit c***." would be acceptable on a BANTER discussion.
Like I said before any time you want to meet up to discuss if you think I have any screws loose or I am a c*nt, I will be in the Railway Bell before every game. Just come and ask for the Gem.
Saladpack Seagull
Just Shut Up and Paddle
alfredmizen
Banned
- Mar 11, 2015
- 6,342
Really , can you expand upon that point ?
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,638
Listen, I'm thankful for the job you do but it doesn't mean some of your comrades are exempt from being tossers
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Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,638
I'd say fair enough, we aren't all like it, not go off on a rant like Gem boy
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Sweeney Todd
New member
It would have made no difference to me if the person in question (my French friend) had been my boss.
I used to have a boss who was of Pakistani origin, and he used to say things to me that would have been considered racist had I said them to him, but I knew that he meant no harm, so it never occurred to me to take offence, never mind to complain. If I had complained, doubtless Personnel would have reminded me that my ancestors oppressed his so I would have to take my manager’s “banter” on the chin.
The FA acted wrongly in their response to Eni Aluko’s complaint, but, to me, Mark Sampson’s comment about ebola (the subject of this thread) was innocuous. Perhaps the comment was made on the back of other similar comments, the cumulative effect of which was to upset Eni Aluko, but the comment in question, in isolation, seems innocuous to me.
I'm not on a rant, you stupid boy Pike. You and only you threw a blanket over soldiers (spelt correctly) and I took exception to it.
It's exactly what this thread is all about people saying things that others think are not right or don't agree with.
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,638
Well we've done a great job on this thread and congratulations on changing my opinion on shoulders..[emoji57]
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Thunder Bolt
Silly old bat
There is a difference between having a joke with someone you know well, and saying it in a changing room in front of others, perhaps to humiliate her?
Context is everything.
spring hall convert
Well-known member
But that's kind of the point isn't it? Your equivalency with what your mate said taken in isolation isn't helpful. This is about context, personality, relationship and precedent as much as some hard and fast rule that proves definitely what was said was or wasn't racist.
Use a spell check idiot.
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,638
McTavish
Well-known member
- Nov 5, 2014
- 1,587
The problem with banter is that it is all very well when everyone is comfortable with it but, as we have seen on here and elsewhere, as soon as any one objects then they are told that they have no sense of humour or they should "man up and stop being a snowflake." A lot of banter is used, whether purposefully or not, to establish social hierarchies, a bit like baboons mooning each other. It is the absolute purpose of some, maybe most, banter to (however slightly) belittle others in a group and enhance the social credentials of the banterer.
Like baboon bum brandishing it is usually fairly harmless but when there is already an in-built power imbalance then the banter can become toxic as the person being belittled has no real recourse to banter back and if they don't "laugh along" then they can be seen as stuck-up or overly precious. Often (as might be the case with Mark Sampson) the banterer doesn't even realise what they are doing.
Many years ago I was a restaurant manager - I was very young, inexperienced and, as it turns out, stupid. I had employed a fantastic waitress, she was hard-working, accurate and the customers loved her. She was also quiet and reserved. I assumed that she realised that I thought she was brilliant and so felt quite happy having a bit of "banter" with her - if she dropped a teaspoon, for example, I would make a big deal of it in an amusingly over-the-top way because she so rarely made any mistakes at all.
One day the waitress came to me and resigned - I was shocked and asked her why. She said that part of the reason was that I was always picking on her and constantly criticising her. I had thought that I was a hilarious boss driving the banter bus and keeping everyone motivated with my up beat ironic quips whereas I was in fact making one of my best employees so miserable that she left. I still feel embarrassed and ashamed that I had so fundamently mis-judged the situation and am therefore vary wary when people excuse things by saying "it was just banter" or "I was only having a laugh".
Like baboon bum brandishing it is usually fairly harmless but when there is already an in-built power imbalance then the banter can become toxic as the person being belittled has no real recourse to banter back and if they don't "laugh along" then they can be seen as stuck-up or overly precious. Often (as might be the case with Mark Sampson) the banterer doesn't even realise what they are doing.
Many years ago I was a restaurant manager - I was very young, inexperienced and, as it turns out, stupid. I had employed a fantastic waitress, she was hard-working, accurate and the customers loved her. She was also quiet and reserved. I assumed that she realised that I thought she was brilliant and so felt quite happy having a bit of "banter" with her - if she dropped a teaspoon, for example, I would make a big deal of it in an amusingly over-the-top way because she so rarely made any mistakes at all.
One day the waitress came to me and resigned - I was shocked and asked her why. She said that part of the reason was that I was always picking on her and constantly criticising her. I had thought that I was a hilarious boss driving the banter bus and keeping everyone motivated with my up beat ironic quips whereas I was in fact making one of my best employees so miserable that she left. I still feel embarrassed and ashamed that I had so fundamently mis-judged the situation and am therefore vary wary when people excuse things by saying "it was just banter" or "I was only having a laugh".