Beach Hut
Brighton Bhuna Boy
Maybe.
Though Bale, to his credit, has always given the impression he's slightly more intelligent than your average footballer. He seems pretty quiet- you don't see him falling out of clubs at 3am or getting caught up with blonde gold-diggers looking for a story to sell.
I think he might just do better than most British players abroad- I bet he's already learning the language, which will make a huge difference. He's not going to be like Ian "It's like being in a foreign country" Rush.
Or do what Chris Waddle did in Marseille when he sat down for a meal / interview with a journo and poured himself a glass of vinegar and said - "This is champion and what life in Marseille is all about"