[Misc] As if today couldn't have got any worse...

[Coldeanseagull]

Stuck in a traffic jam wasting half an hour working and literally at a complete standstill yet nothing ahead to cause traffic to stop? No road works no traffic accident it just stopped for some reason and then back to 70mph

See Amex Ruislip post below

Just got back from a day trip to Hastings, visiting family.
Left Ruislip at 6am this morning and completed the journey in under 2 hrs.
Left Hastings at 3.30pm, where it took just under 4hrs

You know that driving at 20mph on the way back will hold up traffic, right?
Or
dragging your heels to get back to Ruislip?
Or
right one will make you go quicker and that stick thingy in the centre consul needs a wobble....no, I'm done

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

...what with the utter clusterfuck playing out across the pond.

I stopped at a Tesco Express to buy a few groceries, and decided to lift the family gloom with some jam doughnuts.

"Soft and juicy" it said on the pack and I could not wait to get home and sink my teeth into one.

Imagine my utter dismay opening the pack and finding they were boring old ring doughnuts.

Has anyone else suffered a similar calamity today?

Not today but I ordered a DVD from Blockbusters back in the day of the 83 Cup Final. Bought a nice curry, a few beers, my wife was away, got nice and comfy on the sofa, but the B@@@tards had only gone and sent me the 0-4 replay.

 

[AmexRuislip]

See Amex Ruislip post below

You know that driving at 20mph on the way back will hold up traffic, right?
Or
dragging your heels to get back to Ruislip?
Or
right one will make you go quicker and that stick thingy in the centre consul needs a wobble....no, I'm done

You're warm but not there yet

40mph on M25 was the average speed and I drive an automatic

 

[Bodian]

I finally made myself sit down and write my will, only to find that my printer is only printing the bottom half of letters today.

Rather disappointed that you didn't post this.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Sounds like we’re all having a bad day. I went to the gym earlier than usual this evening, forgetting that Wednesday 6pm- 7pm is when the Naked Nuns Fitness Club are in.

Had to wait ages for a free treadmill ffs.

 

[albionalba]

forgetting that Wednesday 6pm- 7pm is when the Naked Nuns Fitness Club are in.

....don't make it a habit....

 

[clapham_gull]

Please think of others. I have a lovely Italian deli near me and whilst walking back from Toolstation (having bought a new toilet seat) I went in my usual coffee and a chat.

The peace was completely shattered by a rushing in school girl on the phone to her father (whilst he was struggling to "park up") who were deep in debate whether the only balsamic glaze available was suitable because it contained "berries".

Two things came to mind.

Firstly how lucky I am being able to walk to the deli and not having to find a place to park my Range Rover.

Secondly the difficult decisions the American electorate had to take yesterday, very much our own balsamic glaze with berries or not.

I am very much praying for both that family and Americans tonight.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

I drove to Portsmouth today. Arguably that in itself could be classed as a calamity but I'll continue.

It was edging towards lunchtime so I stopped at the Emsworth services for a sandwich. The pumps were closed. Fair enough I thought, maybe @Bozza was right about Trump and he's closed down the oil already. So I parked up and strolled up to the mini market thingy shop only to find the shutters were down and that too was closed. Two Tier Kier had struck. Calamity 1

I then proceeded to my final destination, a meeting at Farlington Services. Guess what, that petrol station was closed too. Calamity 2

I settled on a ham and cheese toastie at the Holiday Inn Express. It was a bit too hot and my mouth was lightly scorched. Calamity 3.

I calmed myself on the way home by playing on repeat God Bless America, The Golden Dream (from Disney's American Adventure, yeeeeesssss), Stars and Stripes Forever and The Star Spangled Banner.

Why does Emsworth Services being closed lead to Keir Starmer being blamed? Genuine question.

 

[GoingUp]

Never understand donuts, playing a game of roulette with a treat!?

Is this a whoosh moment for me? I don't understand a donut being Russian roulette

 

[GT49er]

Rather disappointed that you didn't post this.

View attachment 191966

F*** off!!!

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Is this a whoosh moment for me? I don't understand a donut being Russian roulette

 

[vegster]

National rails points decided today they just weren't going to work between Angmering and god knows where. I guess in sympathy with the US. So yes, faced with the disastrous news on waking, I then got entangled in 35 min delays this morning, and about 25 min delays this evening...

One ray of light was the people who play the piano in Brighton Station...just to hear it over the durge of humanity probably kept me sane for just a few minutes...

Sadly I find the Brighton Station piano just another manifestation of my own uselessness. Scrawny teenagers playing melody's from memory reminds me of my inability to play an instrument of any kind. I failed recorder miserably and never attempted anything else.

 

[North of Robertsbridge]

Just got back from a day trip to Hastings, visiting family.
Left Ruislip at 6am this morning and completed the journey in under 2 hrs.
Left Hastings at 3.30pm, where it took just under 4hrs

The A21 junction at the Ridge is closed for 5 months (!) until end January causing mahoosive queues North and South. Go via Battle to John’s Cross on the A21, it will save you the best part of an hour

 

[Stato]

I calmed myself on the way home by playing on repeat... The Star Spangled Banner.

What kind of true Brit would enjoy a song celebrating a foreign victory over the Royal Navy?

 

[chickens]

What kind of true Brit would enjoy a song celebrating a foreign victory over the Royal Navy?

It’s clearly our turn to demand “no taxation without representation.”

Perhaps we can tip a shipping container full of iPhones into the sea?

 

[AmexRuislip]

The A21 junction at the Ridge is closed for 5 months (!) until end January causing mahoosive queues North and South. Go via Battle to John’s Cross on the A21, it will save you the best part of an hour

I did go via that route, it was quite slow that way, ok until Flimwell and slowly got worse including the M25, where there's average speed cameras near Clacketts Lane and the A3.
The usual mayhem between M3 northbound towards where I exit a J16, all at 40mph.

 

[Coxovi]

Woke up at 3am, checked my phone and realized my country is well and truly F****d. Day has not gotten any better, but I at managed to convince everyone to stop trying to make small talk about the F****g election.

I am not bitter though, honest.

 

[Chicken Run]

Woke up at 3am, checked my phone and realized my country is well and truly F****d. Day has not gotten any better, but I at managed to convince everyone to stop trying to make small talk about the F****g election.

I am not bitter though, honest.

What part of The USA do you live in?

 

[Coxovi]

What part of The USA do you live in?

I don't, I live in Switzerland but I was born and raised in the US though, mainly Connecticut and Colorado.

 

[Stato]

It’s clearly our turn to demand “no taxation without representation.”

Perhaps we can tip a shipping container full of iPhones into the sea?

No it's not from the war of independence, (Or as I like to think of it, the treasonous tax dodgers rebellion), but from the war of 1812. The one where we torched the pink house on Pennsylvania Avenue, so they had to paint it white. In the same attack we sacked the Capitol Building and set that alight too. They didn't re-elect us though. Double standards!