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[Help] Advice required - Dating a “Lateral thinker”



Gabbafella

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
4,906
Remembers minute details and picks you up on them? Sounds like you've got yourself a regular female there.
 




Southern Scouse

Well-known member
Jul 21, 2011
2,095
Thanks.... actually watching The Bridge ......
Definitely worth effort....
Having been married for over 25 years.... this is a little different but thanks for the comments :)
 


Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,922
Ok, I just wondered if anyone here, being the font of all knowledge, could offer some help either as a “ Lateral thinker” or someone who has a partner who is.
This is not just the odd occasion, this is about someone who could be autistic or has Asperger’s. I have no knowledge of this field at all. After a divorce, this is my first proper relationship in two years, and this is very important to me. Problem is, we get along as though we have been together for years, but she questions everything and takes everything literally. I made a mistake of getting the dates wrong over something that happened 35 years ago... and I had to spend hours convincing her it was a mistake. She has a near photographic memory and seems to check things I have said in the past. There is no malice, but it’s difficult to be thinking about everything you are going to say, all the time.
I’ve done some research and this constant literal thinking could be related to autism/ Aspergers. This lady is a very intelligent, success person...
So if anyone has any similar experience they’d like to share let me know on here or PM me, it’s much appreciated.

Sounds you're dating Alexa...
 












Southern Scouse

Well-known member
Jul 21, 2011
2,095
Now I know this might sound crazy but.. have you tried talking to her about it?

*ducks for cover*

No, that’s a good question! I work in the NHS, I notice it. She mentions it’s just her thing, but I don’t think she rationalises it.
In truth, it doesn’t matter, I’m just worried I’ll balls it up. Maybe in the future I could bring it up ��
 




Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,121
Faversham
I spent 4 years with someone like that. I had to leave in the end. Nothing good can come of it.
 




Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,952
Surrey
Apologies if this sounds very superficial but you could do worse than watch 'The Bridge' where the main character, Saga, seems to fall into this category. (If your partner looks like her, I think the relationship might well be worth some investment.)
God yes. Utter oddball though she is, she is visually appealing and even her personality has a strange attraction. I love Saga.
 




Rugrat

Well-known member
Mar 13, 2011
10,224
Seaford
Apologies if this sounds very superficial but you could do worse than watch 'The Bridge' where the main character, Saga, seems to fall into this category. (If your partner looks like her, I think the relationship might well be worth some investment.)

As soon as I read the OP that's what I thought
 




DJ NOBO

Well-known member
Jul 18, 2004
6,816
Wiltshire
Ok, I just wondered if anyone here, being the font of all knowledge, could offer some help either as a “ Lateral thinker” or someone who has a partner who is.
This is not just the odd occasion, this is about someone who could be autistic or has Asperger’s. I have no knowledge of this field at all. After a divorce, this is my first proper relationship in two years, and this is very important to me. Problem is, we get along as though we have been together for years, but she questions everything and takes everything literally. I made a mistake of getting the dates wrong over something that happened 35 years ago... and I had to spend hours convincing her it was a mistake. She has a near photographic memory and seems to check things I have said in the past. There is no malice, but it’s difficult to be thinking about everything you are going to say, all the time.
I’ve done some research and this constant literal thinking could be related to autism/ Aspergers. This lady is a very intelligent, success person...
So if anyone has any similar experience they’d like to share let me know on here or PM me, it’s much appreciated.

Sounds like you’re trying to make something work that isn’t meant to work.
Trust your instincts.
Deep down ,you know the right thing to do is gently sack her off .
 




Southern Scouse

Well-known member
Jul 21, 2011
2,095
Oh bloody hell..... the s*it has really hit the fan in SS’s latest search for love...
Mods.... could you please delete this thread...... I really mean, pretty please.
 


Taybha

Whalewhine
Oct 8, 2008
27,670
Uwantsumorwat
Don't you dare delete this thread , i can see a happy ending , obviously after 200 pages of NSC invaluable advice .
 


goldstone

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 5, 2003
7,177
Ok, I just wondered if anyone here, being the font of all knowledge, could offer some help either as a “ Lateral thinker” or someone who has a partner who is.
This is not just the odd occasion, this is about someone who could be autistic or has Asperger’s. I have no knowledge of this field at all. After a divorce, this is my first proper relationship in two years, and this is very important to me. Problem is, we get along as though we have been together for years, but she questions everything and takes everything literally. I made a mistake of getting the dates wrong over something that happened 35 years ago... and I had to spend hours convincing her it was a mistake. She has a near photographic memory and seems to check things I have said in the past. There is no malice, but it’s difficult to be thinking about everything you are going to say, all the time.
I’ve done some research and this constant literal thinking could be related to autism/ Aspergers. This lady is a very intelligent, success person...
So if anyone has any similar experience they’d like to share let me know on here or PM me, it’s much appreciated.

Simple answer. Dump her. Not worth dating anyone who is a hassle to be with. Only likely to get worse. Lots of fish in the sea.
 


brakespear

Doctor Worm
Feb 24, 2009
12,326
Sleeping on the roof
Nope. Alexa is one of the few 'women' you can tell to shut her gob and she does. All this without sulking.

That's what you think - she's secretly ordering £5000 worth of fertiliser be delivered to your front room :thumbsup:
 




Bevendean Hillbilly

New member
Sep 4, 2006
12,805
Nestling in green nowhere
If se really does have a photographic memory you'd better be prepared to have every mistake you make being raked up in every argument from now until your dying day.

Of course it sounds like she is on the spectrum but, having been with a range of women from all different classes, backgrounds, IQs and temperament I can say with confidence that ALL of them have issues from full on mental illness to emotional instability, you just have to decide what level of lunacy is acceptable.

My dad use to say "son, no matter how good she looks, no matter how much you fancy her...remember that somebody somewhere has had to put up with her shit"
 


Albion_Dave

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2011
2,120
Eastbourne
If you're worried about every little thing you say then it really isn't worth it.

Sounds like she has some deep rooted issues that aren't going to go away anytime soon i'm afraid.
 


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