[Misc] Advice on elderly parent / (possible) dementia / hospital discharge type stuff

[Zeberdi]

Sounds like you’re having a tough time

A little experience from both sides but not sure if it is any help though.

My 86 year old Mum shattered her hip (just before she was to have a major operation for cancer). She was fully mobile, sang in a choir, keot her garden lovely, did evening classes in Egyptology, travelled and volunteered in a charity shop on Saturdays.

The hip replacement which took away her mobility and independence (followed by radiation for the cancer) - changed her personality completely - she became confused, swung from being extremely belligerent to talking about suicide and ‘giving up’. She became confused with me - forgot who I was at one point. Grew suspicious of the doctors (kept emailing a relative in the States for a second opinion all the time, completely forgetting he was a cardiologist not an orthopaedic surgeon or oncologist - she was being treating at St Thomas’ and Guys hospitals in London so had top care.’. She was discharged into my Sister’s care who moved into Mum’s house temporarily - (rushing back to her own each day to prepare meals for the kids and take the dog out) - we had a hospital bed put in her lounge, with a commode and got her a private physiotherapist to come in once a week to work with her. For much of the time, I was also in hospital myself in Norfolk so my poor Sister ended up doing everything - it was a stressful time for everyone.

She began to go out for ‘walks’ once she was up and about and became very hostile to anyone stopping her - she ended up in hospital again with a fractured nose and cheek from a fall - fell down the stairs and didn’t tell anyone - asked me to keep it a “secret’ and not tell my sister who was standing right behind her.

The loss of independence had a major effect on her state on mind - that was 3 years ago and she is now much better and not nearly so confused and has ‘calmed down’ - still living at home. Goes to the hairdressers each week. looks after her little garden and various family members take her out on trips and she goes to my sister’s for Sunday lunches etc

The drugs, trauma of several operations, loss of independence and confusion from a loss of daily routine and order (due to being a hospital in patient for so long followed by being housebound for months ) had a major impact n her mental well being.

We all thought it might have been dementia setting in (which in my experience of working with Dementia patients ) tends to be a gradual process - and any interruptions to routine can be triggers for aggressive/confused behaviour.

A doctor’s assessment is obviously the first and necessary step with your Mum but given everything she’s been through, it may hopefully be too early to start talking about nursing homes and getting her back into her own environment could be the first step toward recovery.

I would just add one thing that is often over looked - long term low grade, chronic urinary/bladder infections in elderly people often cause severe confusion and dementia like behaviour ie aggression, tears, wandering around, confusion about surroundings - it is just something to rule out.

 

[chickens]

First of all, my sympathies, it is an incredibly stressful and draining situation to be in. I’m hoping it does turn out to be short-term.

1. Social services will need to be involved. Arrange a meeting with them. They should carry out necessary assessments and arrange a suitable care package, if one is appropriate.

Usually there’s a free 6 week trial period, after which the patient has (if they have resources) to contribute toward their own care. Social Services would expect the patient to be claiming all benefits they’re entitled to, and when they calculate the amount of patient contribution that is fair, the amount they come up with assumes this.

2. Hopefully not necessary, but should this turn out to be dementia rather than temporary delirium, you may need Power of Attorney, if as a family you’ve planned ahead and done this, you’re ahead of the game. If you haven’t you’re going to have a frustrating time persuading people to speak to you. You will need yet further resilience. You can only get Power of Attorney arranged while someone has the power to meaningfully consent, in a worst case scenario that ship may have sailed.

3. If a care setting should be appropriate, the local authority is likely to have a “per capita” amount that is their maximum contribution toward an individual’s care costs. That doesn’t mean you have to accept the first place an authority suggests, and there’s nothing to stop you seeking out a place that’s better for your mum if there is the means to pay the gap, bearing in mind these places can put their prices up, so don’t feel guilt-tripped into paying more than you can comfortably afford.

If it’s any consolation, my ex-MIL, a sober woman of strong Christian values and faultless honesty, used to tell my ex that as soon as we’d gone, the nurses would “joyride” her hospital bed (with her in it) throughout the hospital and even out into the town. I looked out with interest for speeding hospital beds on my way into Bath to visit her, but sadly cannot verify her tale. The delirium is real.

She made a full recovery upon her return home and settling back into her old routine. I wish you both all the best.

 

[Happy Exile]

Very sorry to read this. My father in law had a stroke a couple of years ago that exacerbated memory loss and slow onset dementia we were already aware of. He was enormously paranoid for a long time and seemed to conflate childhood trauma memories with his current situation, giving us glimpses of things he thought had just happened but were clearly long ago.

He's still at home, my mother in law keeps him going alongside regular visits from care workers and nurses, and it's up and down but he's actually better now than he was at first. We're under no Illusions it's the affect of the stroke diminishing, the dementia is getting worse, of course, but it's slightly slower than the stroke recovery. Perhaps you'll find similar happens.

The best advice I got at the time, I think from here, is that you don't have to accept the care home the hospital moves them into for respite and recovery before they go back to their own home, you can choose another. He lives up in the Midlands and we did exactly that - insisted we viewed the home before he was moved in (it's harder once they are in) and chose an alternative where patients were in less advanced states of dementia and more conversational which we felt would help him.

 

[ROSM]

Apologies, this will probably be quite long, but I'm very appreciative for anyone who reads it and is able to offer any advice from their own experience...

Eight weeks ago my mum fell out of bed in the middle of the night and broke her hip quite badly.

Since then she's spent five weeks in Worthing Hospital where she had the operation and subsequent initial recuperation and, since then, three weeks in Crawley Hospital's rehab facility where she still is. I've visited her every day throughout this for long periods.

My mum is 78 and prior to this incident was still pretty independent. She's a hairdresser by trade and still did a small bit of work. She still drove and was capable of going to a big supermarket and doing her shopping etc. Her sister / my aunt, who is a few years younger lives with her which works quite well.

She had started to become short-term forgetful - she might ask me the same question in the space of a few minutes, but was still in pretty decent mental shape.

Since this incident, she is all over the place mentally. I'm aware of post-operative delirium, and that in some people in can take a while to clear and whilst I'm hoping that her mental state is caused by that as well as the whole traumatic episode and hospitals not being great places to be, I also have to accept that this may now be it.

And when I say "this" I mean she thinks people in the hospital are trying to kill her. Every day she has long tearful episodes where she tells me she's going to die and I won't see her again and I try to convince her otherwise. She still doesn't really know she had a fall and a big operation and. sometimes, doesn't even seem to know what a hospital is. She'll speak about people and pets who died 20-30 years ago as still being alive. All of this and lots more besides. She's nothing like the woman she was just eight weeks ago.

The hospital are starting to talk about discharge, with a view to her coming home - something we would all ordinarily want. However I just don't feel she'd be safe. They'll arrange a few bits of equipment, and three to four care visits a day for up to six weeks. However, they advise against bed rails as people can try and climb over them to get out and then fall a greater distance to the floor.

Without something I would very much fear my mum waking in the night needing the loo, forgetting where she was and/or forgetting she needs a frame to move about and would fall again, risking another bad break and we'd be back to square one, if not worse.

The occupational therapist said something along the lines of "she will need 24-hour supervision", which I completely agree with, and as much as my aunt (who lives with her) and me could try, I now think that just isn't practical. Most of the burden would fall on my aunt, who is not a young lady,

We have a meeting with the hospital on Monday and I think my opening question is now going to be "If we can't take her home as we don't believe we can look after her safely, what is going to happen?"

My fear is if we did take mum home, hoping her mental state would improve in familiar surroundings (although she can't currently remember where she lives, what her house looks like nor that my aunt lives with her) and things didn't work out, then it would be difficult and slow to make alternative arrangements.

Has anyone been in a similar position, and can share their experience at all?

Firstly dont apologise. I am sorry that you are having to handle this. It does sometimes feel that nobody is guiding you.

This is a very similar experience to my dad. It's potentially a long answer and I'm not an expert but can explain how we dealt with things .

Maybe a chat would be easier?

 

[Billy Seagull]

Sorry to hear that Bozza. My mother in law, in Eastbourne, has dementia & had a couple of falls which ended up with a 3 week stay in hospital. She already had carers coming in once a day & very much on the social care radar.
Since she was released from hospital the social care team have been absolutely brilliant in advising us and in their actions. Put more kit in her flat & increased the carers to 3 times a day to try to ensure she doesn’t fall again. Falls were caused by lack of hydration and eating which the hospital sorted out.
Speak to social services, who should be working with the hospital to ensure your Mum has the best care without going back into hospital.
It’s been rather challenging month or so
Please PM me if you need further info.

 

[chaileyjem]

The best advice I got at the time, I think from here, is that you don't have to accept the care home the hospital moves them into for respite and recovery before they go back to their own home, you can choose another. He lives up in the Midlands and we did exactly that - insisted we viewed the home before he was moved in (it's harder once they are in) and chose an alternative where patients were in less advanced states of dementia and more conversational which we felt would help him.

Yes. I wished i had done this.

 

[robinsonsgrin]

Really good source of info and conversation are Sage House based at Tangmere. https://www.dementiasupport.org.uk/sage-house

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Sorry to hear. It's such a well trodden path unfortunately, hip break with dementia, post-op delirium making the confusion worse. Went through it recently with my dad.

 

[Weststander]

Sorry to hear this @Bozza, your love shines through.

Mrs.W is an NHS practitioner in this field. If your mum had lived in Shoreham, she could’ve taken her on her list. She advises.

“Your mum clearly has post op delirium, which will resolve, but it may take time. It might indicate an underlying dementia. At this stage the priority must be to get her back into her own home environment and routine. Whilst the delirium is resolving, you may have to bite the bullet in paying for additional care eg private night carer. As she has had an episode of delirium in hospital, they will automatically write to your mum’s GP to refer a dementia assessment. If her cognition doesn’t fully return, it is worth pursuing an early diagnosis of dementia, this would be crucial. Whilst she’s still in hospital, be vigilant that staff are constantly checking that she isn’t dehydrated, hasn’t a urine infection or constipation [you can add gravitas to this by stating your friend is frailty nurse]. As they can cause delirium.”

All the best.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Really sorry to hear @Bozza. Having been through a couple of similar situations, I really don't think your mum is going home. Elderly people can be really independent until they get a big hit, and my experience is to try to get them into a situation with a far higher level of care than they want (and you hope) always works out for the better.

My advice would be to get a care home quickly (because the sooner she gets it, the less stress on her and you). If she's been independent up to now, she really won't like it but, in my experiences it's been for the best.

But everyone's situation is different, and whatever you decide will be for the best, i'm sure. My thoughts are with you.

 

[tronnogull]

Like everyone else I'm sorry that you are going through this.

Our family's experience with my mother and mother in law was that once the hospital felt that there was nothing more they could do for them medically they pushed hard ( and increasingly hard ) for them to be discharged. This of course is reasonable enough given the shortage of hospital beds. However, they were not able to discharge them until we had found a suitable long term care home. Social services suggested a few places which we visited but they were not acceptable at all. In both cases we visited literally dozens of care homes before finding somewhere we would be prepared to have care for our mothers. Through all this it is also a quagmire trying to determine how much of the cost of care homes is covered by local authorities. Most of the time they don't seem to know themselves.

 

[ROSM]

Sorry to hear this @Bozza, your love shines through.

Mrs.W is an NHS practitioner in this field. If your mum had lived in Shoreham, she could’ve taken her on her list. She advises.

“Your mum clearly has post op delirium, which will resolve, but it may take time. It might indicate an underlying dementia. At the this stage the priority must be to get her back into her own home environment and routine. Whilst the delirium is resolving, you may have to bite the bullet in paying for additional care eg private night carer. As she has had an episode of delirium in hospital, they will automatically write to your mum’s GP to refer a dementia assessment. If her cognition doesn’t fully return, it is worth pursuing an early diagnosis of dementia, this would be crucial. Whilst she’s still in hospital, be vigilant that staff are constantly checking that she isn’t dehydrated, hasn’t a urine infection or constipation [you can add gravitas to this by stating your friend is frailty nurse]. As they cause delirium.”

All the best.

This is such great advice and is a summary of what we were guided to do for my dad. It really did pan out almost exactly like this

 

[clapham_gull]

Apologies, this will probably be quite long, but I'm very appreciative for anyone who reads it and is able to offer any advice from their own experience...

Eight weeks ago my mum fell out of bed in the middle of the night and broke her hip quite badly.

Since then she's spent five weeks in Worthing Hospital where she had the operation and subsequent initial recuperation and, since then, three weeks in Crawley Hospital's rehab facility where she still is. I've visited her every day throughout this for long periods.

My mum is 78 and prior to this incident was still pretty independent. She's a hairdresser by trade and still did a small bit of work. She still drove and was capable of going to a big supermarket and doing her shopping etc. Her sister / my aunt, who is a few years younger lives with her which works quite well.

She had started to become short-term forgetful - she might ask me the same question in the space of a few minutes, but was still in pretty decent mental shape.

Since this incident, she is all over the place mentally. I'm aware of post-operative delirium, and that in some people in can take a while to clear and whilst I'm hoping that her mental state is caused by that as well as the whole traumatic episode and hospitals not being great places to be, I also have to accept that this may now be it.

And when I say "this" I mean she thinks people in the hospital are trying to kill her. Every day she has long tearful episodes where she tells me she's going to die and I won't see her again and I try to convince her otherwise. She still doesn't really know she had a fall and a big operation and. sometimes, doesn't even seem to know what a hospital is. She'll speak about people and pets who died 20-30 years ago as still being alive. All of this and lots more besides. She's nothing like the woman she was just eight weeks ago.

The hospital are starting to talk about discharge, with a view to her coming home - something we would all ordinarily want. However I just don't feel she'd be safe. They'll arrange a few bits of equipment, and three to four care visits a day for up to six weeks. However, they advise against bed rails as people can try and climb over them to get out and then fall a greater distance to the floor.

Without something I would very much fear my mum waking in the night needing the loo, forgetting where she was and/or forgetting she needs a frame to move about and would fall again, risking another bad break and we'd be back to square one, if not worse.

The occupational therapist said something along the lines of "she will need 24-hour supervision", which I completely agree with, and as much as my aunt (who lives with her) and me could try, I now think that just isn't practical. Most of the burden would fall on my aunt, who is not a young lady,

We have a meeting with the hospital on Monday and I think my opening question is now going to be "If we can't take her home as we don't believe we can look after her safely, what is going to happen?"

My fear is if we did take mum home, hoping her mental state would improve in familiar surroundings (although she can't currently remember where she lives, what her house looks like nor that my aunt lives with her) and things didn't work out, then it would be difficult and slow to make alternative arrangements.

Has anyone been in a similar position, and can share their experience at all?

PM / Zoom me anytime you like. I can't give you direct answers but there are thousands of people (you and me) in a similar situation.

 

[dazzer6666]

PM’d you

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

No contact yet, as there didn't feel any need really - we've been hoping my mum would come out of the other side, mentally. In both hospitals a lot has been made of post-op delirium and the impact of such a large traumatic event. She's also had at least one infection, which can really mess with the mind.

No POA - again, there'd never felt the need to do it because. prior to this incident, she was mentally quite sound. Hindsight is a wonderful thing etc.

Sorry to hear about this. As others have said hydration is a big issue - do keep an eye on that.

My mum's cousin, age 83, broke her hip, but made a good recovery. My youngest brother was a main 'carer' but he's even more of an arse than me and the old girl was getting careless around her flat (she lived alone) and had another couple of falls. She eventually went into a nursing home in Southwick, mostly driven by my brother, and I can't say I recommend it.

I don't see any reason why the sudden decline you have seen post-op should be permanent. You need to be insistent with the 'system' however - this rush to push old folk into care homes can sometimes be a substitute for not properly exploring the issues and not seeking solutions within an out of hospital environment. The NHS can too easily not bother with you if you (or your advocate - in this case your mum's advocate is you) are not insistent. I'm 66 and have got all sorts of stuff done because I insist I want to be active (including a knee op that allowed me to go skiing at 62). The NHS would have been quite happy to let me curl up and get fat though, had I not explained what I wanted.

I'm also concerned about you, old mate. I'm glad you have shared your issue with us lot, and I'm sure you'll get good advice. This is not my area of expertise but I'm always happy to chat, whenever. Take care. Mike

 

[GT49er]

Apologies, this will probably be quite long, but I'm very appreciative for anyone who reads it and is able to offer any advice from their own experience...

Eight weeks ago my mum fell out of bed in the middle of the night and broke her hip quite badly.

Since then she's spent five weeks in Worthing Hospital where she had the operation and subsequent initial recuperation and, since then, three weeks in Crawley Hospital's rehab facility where she still is. I've visited her every day throughout this for long periods.

My mum is 78 and prior to this incident was still pretty independent. She's a hairdresser by trade and still did a small bit of work. She still drove and was capable of going to a big supermarket and doing her shopping etc. Her sister / my aunt, who is a few years younger lives with her which works quite well.

She had started to become short-term forgetful - she might ask me the same question in the space of a few minutes, but was still in pretty decent mental shape.

Since this incident, she is all over the place mentally. I'm aware of post-operative delirium, and that in some people in can take a while to clear and whilst I'm hoping that her mental state is caused by that as well as the whole traumatic episode and hospitals not being great places to be, I also have to accept that this may now be it.

And when I say "this" I mean she thinks people in the hospital are trying to kill her. Every day she has long tearful episodes where she tells me she's going to die and I won't see her again and I try to convince her otherwise. She still doesn't really know she had a fall and a big operation and. sometimes, doesn't even seem to know what a hospital is. She'll speak about people and pets who died 20-30 years ago as still being alive. All of this and lots more besides. She's nothing like the woman she was just eight weeks ago.

The hospital are starting to talk about discharge, with a view to her coming home - something we would all ordinarily want. However I just don't feel she'd be safe. They'll arrange a few bits of equipment, and three to four care visits a day for up to six weeks. However, they advise against bed rails as people can try and climb over them to get out and then fall a greater distance to the floor.

Without something I would very much fear my mum waking in the night needing the loo, forgetting where she was and/or forgetting she needs a frame to move about and would fall again, risking another bad break and we'd be back to square one, if not worse.

The occupational therapist said something along the lines of "she will need 24-hour supervision", which I completely agree with, and as much as my aunt (who lives with her) and me could try, I now think that just isn't practical. Most of the burden would fall on my aunt, who is not a young lady,

We have a meeting with the hospital on Monday and I think my opening question is now going to be "If we can't take her home as we don't believe we can look after her safely, what is going to happen?"

My fear is if we did take mum home, hoping her mental state would improve in familiar surroundings (although she can't currently remember where she lives, what her house looks like nor that my aunt lives with her) and things didn't work out, then it would be difficult and slow to make alternative arrangements.

Has anyone been in a similar position, and can share their experience at all?

Much sympathy. I can't offer any advice - although I too have had dealings with home care for my brother, all cases are different. The trouble with home care was that although he had three visits a day (paid for by CHC, but not until they'd nearly bankrupted him by refusing his claim and rejecting his appeal - even a few days before his death they were trying to set up a review to see if the payments could be stopped!) he was got up and given his breakfast any time between 8 and 11, and had his evening meal and was put to bed around what most of us would call tea time!

One thing does occur to me though - you say you mum has been in the recuperation centre for three weeks, so she's still entitled to another three, I believe. What about taking her home in the day time for a couple of weeks - it may just be that being in hospital/care has had the detrimental effect on her mental health; being at home part-time may help - it seems from this thread that some people do just pick up when they get home. Anyway, best wishes, and hope you (and she) get the best possible outcome.

 

[ozzygull]

Really sorry to hear this and I have not read all the replies so I maybe repeating what others are saying. My mum like yours started to ask ing me the same questions repeatedly and then she had a fall, she didn’t break any bones, but from seeing her from just four days before where I was Ok for her to be living on her own, after the fall it became absolutely clear that this wouldn’t be possible anymore. I contacted social services and they were great, I explained that I lived in Reading and I could get some time off, but I would need to go back to work. Unfortunately there is still an attitude that as a daughter I can give up everything and become a full time carer, but I am the person that earns the salary that pays the mortgage and all our daughters university costs. I could not just give up my job no matter how much I wanted to look after my mum. They suggested that my mum was taken to hospital to be fully assessed. Like your mum she thought people were out to get her and really paranoid, sometimes she thought she was in Spain and would ask if I was looking after Ben, the dog we had when I was a child.

The hospital suggested that my mum should go in a nursing home and they could help her to recover and assess if she was suitable to go back home. To me it was clear that was never going to happen and she never did, and spent her last year in a nursing home that look after her really well.

social services in Brighton were excellent at helping me through a process that was scary, heartbreaking and confusing.

The hardest part for me was the guilt I felt for not being there all the time and I was also grieving because I knew that the life that I had with my mum was over, she may have been physically still there but the person she was, was gone.

So through all this, remember to be kind to yourself and don’t feel bad about what ever decision you have to make.

 

[Spiros]

My thoughts go out to you Bozza.

Apologies, this will probably be quite long, but I'm very appreciative for anyone who reads it and is able to offer any advice from their own experience...

Eight weeks ago my mum fell out of bed in the middle of the night and broke her hip quite badly.

Since then she's spent five weeks in Worthing Hospital where she had the operation and subsequent initial recuperation and, since then, three weeks in Crawley Hospital's rehab facility where she still is. I've visited her every day throughout this for long periods.

My mum is 78 and prior to this incident was still pretty independent. She's a hairdresser by trade and still did a small bit of work. She still drove and was capable of going to a big supermarket and doing her shopping etc. Her sister / my aunt, who is a few years younger lives with her which works quite well.

She had started to become short-term forgetful - she might ask me the same question in the space of a few minutes, but was still in pretty decent mental shape.

Since this incident, she is all over the place mentally. I'm aware of post-operative delirium, and that in some people in can take a while to clear and whilst I'm hoping that her mental state is caused by that as well as the whole traumatic episode and hospitals not being great places to be, I also have to accept that this may now be it.

And when I say "this" I mean she thinks people in the hospital are trying to kill her. Every day she has long tearful episodes where she tells me she's going to die and I won't see her again and I try to convince her otherwise. She still doesn't really know she had a fall and a big operation and. sometimes, doesn't even seem to know what a hospital is. She'll speak about people and pets who died 20-30 years ago as still being alive. All of this and lots more besides. She's nothing like the woman she was just eight weeks ago.

The hospital are starting to talk about discharge, with a view to her coming home - something we would all ordinarily want. However I just don't feel she'd be safe. They'll arrange a few bits of equipment, and three to four care visits a day for up to six weeks. However, they advise against bed rails as people can try and climb over them to get out and then fall a greater distance to the floor.

Without something I would very much fear my mum waking in the night needing the loo, forgetting where she was and/or forgetting she needs a frame to move about and would fall again, risking another bad break and we'd be back to square one, if not worse.

The occupational therapist said something along the lines of "she will need 24-hour supervision", which I completely agree with, and as much as my aunt (who lives with her) and me could try, I now think that just isn't practical. Most of the burden would fall on my aunt, who is not a young lady,

We have a meeting with the hospital on Monday and I think my opening question is now going to be "If we can't take her home as we don't believe we can look after her safely, what is going to happen?"

My fear is if we did take mum home, hoping her mental state would improve in familiar surroundings (although she can't currently remember where she lives, what her house looks like nor that my aunt lives with her) and things didn't work out, then it would be difficult and slow to make alternative arrangements.

Has anyone been in a similar position, and can share their experience at all?

as others have said this sounds like dementia but you really need to get a diagnosis. That in itself will open doors.

We had the same problem 4 years ago with the mother in law. It’s better to be on the front foot and picking where you want her to go rather than having to react to the situation and take the best that can be offered at the time.

We’re in Worthing so if you need help or anything then feel free to PM me. Best of luck

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Someone mentioned Power of Attorney earlier. You don’t have to wait until someone is ill or had an accident to do it. I recently discovered I had high blood pressure which was completely symptom free. High blood pressure can lead to strokes etc. We decided to sort out a POA before it’s actually needed.

 

[LamieRobertson]

I’ve been through the dementia bit with my mother ….that though was when my father was alive, which at least gave some security of there being another person living there….even then incidents such as Mum packing clothes into a plastic bag and disappearing..only to be found by the police at a bus stop miles away….i could go on.

My late father was hospitalised after a fall for two months…daily visits during covid times (having to wear PPE)…we were told there would be support ..UP to six weeks…but it was a bit haphazard …has the OT actually visited your Mums home…to check for suitability? …if they are saying your Mum needs 24 hour care, then a couple of carers popping in twice a day isn’t going to work and you will be only able to do so much filling in…..my Dad was bed ridden…the day after coming home (he fell again)…we had a carers visit four times a day …and then my sister or me each day…this went on for eight months, before we had to give in.

…have they suggested maybe going to a local community hospital as a first step (ARUNDEL?)….they were quite keen on discharge of my Dad because of a need for the bed, but I dug my heels in until what support we could garner was in place.

I wish you well….it is incredibly draining ..you are never really prepared for all this….and have to learn as you go along…and be careful that you look after yourself and the demands of your own family.

OT home visit?
Social services help?
Confirmation of dementia?
List of all the people you can expect to be contacted by during this six weeks