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A-Z of little-known Albion miscellany - for new fans



Cullip4

New member
Oct 4, 2003
1,014
Brighton
Jimmy Case

Jimmy Case still keeps Regi Blinker's dreadlocks that he ripped from his head in a pre season friendly and displays them along with several dismembered limbs he has also collected throughout his career in a macabre display case.
 






The Large One

Who's Next?
Jul 7, 2003
52,343
97.2FM
Dick Knight (ca. 275/281 – 23 April 303) was, according to tradition, a Roman soldier from Syria Palaestina and a priest in the Guard of Diocletian, who is venerated as a Christian martyr. In hagiography the Knight is one of the most venerated saints in the Catholic (Western and Eastern Rites), Anglican, Eastern Orthodox, and the Oriental Orthodox churches. He is immortalised in the tale of the Knight and the Dragon (genus Cuttressia canensis) and is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers. His memorial is celebrated on 23 April, and he is regarded as one of the most prominent military saints.

Many Patronages of the Knight exist around the world, including: Aragon, Catalonia, England, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, India, Iraq, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, Serbia and Russia, as well as the cities of Genoa, Amersfoort, Beirut, Fakiha, Bteghrine, Cáceres, Ferrara, Freiburg, Kumanovo, Ljubljana, Pomorie, Preston, Qormi, Rio de Janeiro, Lod, Barcelona, Moscow, Tamworth and the Maltese island of Gozo, as well as a wide range of professions, organisations and disease sufferers.
 




MattBackHome

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
11,875
BONO

The pint-sized, bespectacled Irish jizzbucket singer (and current UN ambassador for False Modesty) was the primary club sponsor between 1986-91. The link with the club boosted sales of ‘The Joshua Tree’ in the greater Sussex area by 13%. The relationship ended acrimoniously when the club decided to sign a new sponsorship deal with BST (British Summertime) in 1991. Bono has never visited the Black Lion pub in Patcham since - a direct result of this fall out.
 




Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,956
In the Mid 1990's Albion were sponsored by supermarket giants TESCO's. This brutally ended when Albion tried to sign Clinton Morrison and Nigel Sainsbury's in an audacious double swoop from Scottish giants Arbroath. The following sponsors , banking heavyweights TSB, paid over £10 million for the shirt sponsorship rights which precipitated the banking crises many years later.
 


seagull_special

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2008
3,007
Abu Dhabi
Paul Newman and Robert Redfords greatest ever 'sting' was selling Adam Virgo to Celtic for 1.5 million they did this by persuading Strachan that AV was related to the sports superstar John Virgo and that he was actually Bobby Zamora in disguise. Strachan in his biography - 'I am an annoying Scottish Tw*T' said - "I felt like the worlds biggest idiot until Chelsea bought Torres for 50 million"
 


Cullip4

New member
Oct 4, 2003
1,014
Brighton
Inigo Calderon
Inigo is actually the son of God, God sent him down to look after his beloved Seagulls as he is busy trying to sort out out the ticketing allocation for the area of heaven above Falmer on the opening game. The ten minutes each idea put forward by St Peter Ward was quickly binned after a huge binfest on Holy North Stand Chat at the idea of Johnny Come Latelys getting the same time as more hardcore fans and rumours of the 1910 victorious Charity Shield Winning Team refusing to play in any warm up games.
 




Tony Meolas Loan Spell

Slut Faced Whores
Jul 15, 2004
18,071
Vamanos Pest
Steve Foster

The famous headband wearing centre forward scored the winner in our charity shield win of 1910
 


Sussex Nomad

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2010
18,185
EP
Brian Clough a pretentious nobody that was found out by the club after being manager for 71.3 hours and was duly shown the door, never to be heard of again.
 


Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,732
Bexhill-on-Sea
The Church

The song "All things Brighton Beautiful" was adapted by the Churchof England for use in religious services.
 




Sussex Nomad

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2010
18,185
EP
Hove Park, a biblical gladitorial arena built and ruled over by the powerful Emporer of Goldstone Road, Julius Bamber. It is widely believed Palace fans were thrown to the North Stand gladiators for ritual humiliation, being wedgied, debagged and sent back to their caravans in disgrace.
 


Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,732
Bexhill-on-Sea
Kate Middleton

On 29th April 2011 the future Queen of England will follow tradition and wear something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

The blue item is a special edition "I Ride The Gus Bus" garter
 


Cullip4

New member
Oct 4, 2003
1,014
Brighton
Charlie Oatway's Injuries
The story regarding how Charlie sustained his injuries is in fact a government cover story.
Charlie sustained these injuries during a fight with Godzilla who surfaced by the Palace Pier heading for the secret research base at Southwick Tunnel, Charlie immediately gained the upper hand but was blindsided by Godzuki who had came ashore earlier at the Marina and twatted him round the head with the Volks Railway train. After regaining his senses Charlie went ballistic and strangled them both with their own tails before burying the bodys under the pitch at Falmer, the metal cover you see in the corner of the webcam is actually a gravestone.
 




Garry Nelson's Left Foot

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,527
tokyo
Knight, Leon

Alright :thumbsup: , He's


Bremner, Rory

Before hitting the big time as a mildly amusing political satirist, voice chameleon Rory Bremner formed a fearsome strike duo with Lord Nelson's Great, Great Grandson Garry Nelson.

Coopers, Michael

Giant dutch goal tenderiser Michael Cooper spent a decade repelling the assaults of opposing teams. He learnt his trade in vietnam where he had been seconded from the dutch marines to serve as John Rambo's personal chef. Together they served up plenty of gook soup.
 


Barry Izbak

U.T.A.
Dec 7, 2005
7,421
Lancing By Sea
FARRINGTON, MARK Signed for the Albion in 1986 from Dutch side Feyenoord, and is the only Brighton player to have scored in every game he played for the club. The quality of his finishing was only surpassed by his level of popularity with Goldstone regulars who, when he retired after a long and glittering career, lobbied to have a railway station on the Brighton- Bedford line named after him.
 


Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,732
Bexhill-on-Sea
Amex Design

The design of the Amex is so advanced that the noise generate by the home fans will filter outwards then upwards and deflect any clouds either side of the stands. This will result in no rain entering the playing area or the stands during play.
 






hart's shirt

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
11,079
Kitbag in Dubai
Sussex By The Sea

The original words to this were penned by Mr Kipling who was primarily famous for making exceedingly good cakes.
 


tonymgc

Banned
May 8, 2010
3,028
Drive by abusing
DIXON JONNY Brightons greatest ever striker, ever, ever ever. If he were a Premier League player he'd have been Englands greatest ever striker. His skills & ability are revered to this day.
Disappeared from football after falling down a large well. Only to be rescued by Nell Mangel off Neighbours who took him in & brought him a ukelele.
He now tours Britain on a segway with his ukelele trying to be the next George Formby.
 


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