A personal update from me - depression (update post #141)

[sydney]

hi mate.......you need to get some proper help...there are numerous sites that offer help to people in your situation.....you are obviously finding yourself in some pretty dark places to end up at a railway station with the intent of jumping , i hope your family rally round you and get you the help you need to start getting better.......do they actually know how you feel , have you talked to them about it....?

 

[spence]

Another little update.

after my last post on here on Monday night I couldn't really sleep and spent the majority of the night just sat there wide awake with hundreds of thoughts running wild through the mind. I took a handful of sleeping tablets to try and help me get to sleep yet these did nothing so decided to take a full pack of Anadin tablets to see if these would help me just close off for a little while. I think I managed to sleep maybe for an hour maximum. Woke up determined not to feel like this anymore and wanting these thoughts which run through my mind daily to just stop and disappear so I managed to get myself out of bed and out of the house. I knew where I wanted to go and that was to the local train station. My plan was to walk off the edge of the platform infront of the 11.30 service to Newark. At 11.27 I sent a text message saying goodbye to the ex-gf and was in the process of sending a generic I'm sorry message to a few people. I then received a call from the ex-gf who basically stopped me from going ahead and managed to get people involved and phone my dad who then took me away from the station.

I I can't explain why some moments I feel fine and then the next I feel abysmal and I really do wish I knew why.

taking each day as it comes at the moment

Get immediate help mate. See your doctor and request to see a psychiatrist as what you are describing might be more than just depression or a combination of other disorders.

Seriously there's no shame in it and there's plenty of support out there.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Another little update.

after my last post on here on Monday night I couldn't really sleep and spent the majority of the night just sat there wide awake with hundreds of thoughts running wild through the mind. I took a handful of sleeping tablets to try and help me get to sleep yet these did nothing so decided to take a full pack of Anadin tablets to see if these would help me just close off for a little while. I think I managed to sleep maybe for an hour maximum. Woke up determined not to feel like this anymore and wanting these thoughts which run through my mind daily to just stop and disappear so I managed to get myself out of bed and out of the house. I knew where I wanted to go and that was to the local train station. My plan was to walk off the edge of the platform infront of the 11.30 service to Newark. At 11.27 I sent a text message saying goodbye to the ex-gf and was in the process of sending a generic I'm sorry message to a few people. I then received a call from the ex-gf who basically stopped me from going ahead and managed to get people involved and phone my dad who then took me away from the station.

I I can't explain why some moments I feel fine and then the next I feel abysmal and I really do wish I knew why.

taking each day as it comes at the moment

Call your GP today. There are experts who will assist you. NSC will offer support but we are not medical experts. Things have moved on from your earlier posts. We are all 100% behind you

 

[Icy Gull]

This thread has turned very scary, please take the advice above and get the experts involved. Wish you well.

 

[Ernest]

Stop posting on NSC and get yourself to the hospital, if you didn't want help you wouldn't be posting here so get yourself there ASAP and even if you get sectioned it is all for the good and getting you better

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Another little update.

after my last post on here on Monday night I couldn't really sleep and spent the majority of the night just sat there wide awake with hundreds of thoughts running wild through the mind. I took a handful of sleeping tablets to try and help me get to sleep yet these did nothing so decided to take a full pack of Anadin tablets to see if these would help me just close off for a little while. I think I managed to sleep maybe for an hour maximum. Woke up determined not to feel like this anymore and wanting these thoughts which run through my mind daily to just stop and disappear so I managed to get myself out of bed and out of the house. I knew where I wanted to go and that was to the local train station. My plan was to walk off the edge of the platform infront of the 11.30 service to Newark. At 11.27 I sent a text message saying goodbye to the ex-gf and was in the process of sending a generic I'm sorry message to a few people. I then received a call from the ex-gf who basically stopped me from going ahead and managed to get people involved and phone my dad who then took me away from the station.

I I can't explain why some moments I feel fine and then the next I feel abysmal and I really do wish I knew why.

taking each day as it comes at the moment

Please, please get the professional help that you need.

 

[Hillian1]

Please, please get the professional help that you need.

This.

Please get the help you need, you won't find it here, plenty of support though.

 

[dazzer6666]

Stop posting on NSC and get yourself to the hospital, if you didn't want help you wouldn't be posting here so get yourself there ASAP and even if you get sectioned it is all for the good and getting you better

All of this. Go to A&E if you have to and can't get to see anyone else, they will help. There is loads of specialist help available, and it works - you're really not alone.

 

[El Presidente]

If you feel better from sharing your feelings then carry on posting here. The great thing about NSC is that it is open 24 hours a day, and we will do all we can on an individual and collective basis to give you support.

It takes a brave person to open up the way you have done on here, and I have nothing but admiration for you in doing so.

If you're not familiar with it, take a look at the CALM website.

https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/

You will find that you are not alone. It's tough being a bloke, you're not alone in the way you feel, but there are lots of people there who can and will help.

 

[Spicy]

Get immediate help mate. See your doctor and request to see a psychiatrist as what you are describing might be more than just depression or a combination of other disorders.

Seriously there's no shame in it and there's plenty of support out there.

This is sound advice. A friend of mine self referred herself to a psychiatric hospital and ended up as an in-patient for weeks on end. If you had a broken leg you wouldn't think twice about going to the doctor or A & E, and you are clearly very unwell currently, so please seek out the medical help you need. Good luck with it.

 

[Fungus]

This is sound advice. A friend of mine self referred herself to a psychiatric hospital and ended up as an in-patient for weeks on end. If you had a broken leg you wouldn't think twice about going to the doctor or A & E, and you are clearly very unwell currently, so please seek out the medical help you need. Good luck with it.

Well said - the "broken leg" comparison is very valid. Get professional help, don't expect to do this on your own.

 

[Megazone]

Keeping posting mate. There's a lot of people who've been effected by depression on here and are all too happy to help. You are doing exactly what more people need to do when they're feeling like finishing their life. Speak out and tell people about it. I certainly wouldn't have had the balls of steel you've had for coming on here and telling us how your depression is breaking you down. You've given many the belief that if they speak out about their pain, they'll get the compassion and empathy needed. Well done, you've done one of the hardest possible things when depression strikes. A man of your honesty doesn't deserve to die. You will recover, just keep in touch with the world, remember that people do care about you and no one wants to see a man die who clearly wants to live. Music is a great medicine for depression. Try this track:
x

Good luck, my thoughts are with you.

 

[Goldstone1976]

It's in threads like this that one's faith in the basic goodwill of one's fellow man is restored. I can only reiterate the sentiments expressed so far - do please get as much professional help as you can, and do continue to post here if you feel it any way helps.

There are many posters on this thread who express wildly different views about politics, the Albion and, well, just about every topic under the sun, but who have a totally common view in this thread: one of total support for you at this difficult time. Stick in there.

 

[BadFish]

Just to reinforce what has already been said. Go and see your GP and find yourself a psychologist who you feel understands you, it may take a bit of time but the help you need is out there.

Keep on keeping on mate, hang in there and keep talking to us. We are here for you.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

If you feel better from sharing your feelings then carry on posting here. The great thing about NSC is that it is open 24 hours a day, and we will do all we can on an individual and collective basis to give you support.

It takes a brave person to open up the way you have done on here, and I have nothing but admiration for you in doing so.

If you're not familiar with it, take a look at the CALM website.

https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/

You will find that you are not alone. It's tough being a bloke, you're not alone in the way you feel, but there are lots of people there who can and will help.

All of this.

If posting to the NSC hivemind helps in any way then don't stop. It causes no issues to anyone and there are enough people on here with mental health experiences that even if we can't directly relate to it we can lend an informed and caring ear.

It'll get better, you may not believe it now, but it will.

 

[Glawstergull]

Individually we may not know you or fully understand your position.
Collectively we are all here for you.
Always.

Stay positive and all the best.

Paul

 

[mooey]

Everyones rooting for you on here hope your getting the help you need mate hope to hear from you soon.

 

[Jessam BHA]

Just keep talking... There is no magic pill, cream, operation or solution... But talking will deffo help you get to a better place.... Good luck....

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Hey RMT. I can only reiterate what others have said but also, and I know that this may sound hard to understand right now but things can get better. I know from my own experience of depression how hard it is to see a future but there is one mate and with good medical care and time you can sort yourself out.
Please go see your gp as a matter of urgency and be completely honest with him. Remember, what you have is an illness and as such can be cured.
Me and the rest of NSC loves you.

 

[Richard Tiltmans Shin Pad]

Having suffered with depression on and off for a number of years, I feel your pain brother. I offer three little words when the darkness is upon you........Keep The Faith.