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A Kyle Affair
- Thread starter Meade's Ball
- Start date
This really is very simple....it has nothing to do with x's, emotions or anything else.....the solicitors claimed a sum of money for her time for giving care and assistance - I doubt the X ever thought or expected to get paid for her time but the solicitors will have stuck it in and priced it up and bingo, it has been paid... the words 'her time' say it all, they valued that time and the insurance company agreed to reimburse her for it....so if they got £1,500 for that, that money strictly speaking belongs solely to her legally and morally. hate to seem cold about this but this is my job, I've done it 15 years so I don't feel any sympathy here as there is no real moral dilemma to this situation....keep it if you want it but if you valued what the x did for you when injured and now someone has agreed to repay her for that time/effort, then I'd say cheque in post and clear conscience.....
You haven't read it properly. He's not suggesting for a second, that he's considering whether or not he should give her the £1500.
He's wondering whether he ought to consider giving her more.
Wardy
NSC's Benefits Guru
It will always be hard. If at the time you and you ex were not together and as a result you had to pay someone to look after you then I would guess the amount you would have got of the insurance company would have reflected what you actually spent. As it was you were lucky to have a caring partner who put her life on hold to help you recover. From what you are saying though you are no longer together there is still some kind of feelings at least on your side. Like others have said when you meet her explain that the amount you are offering her is what the insurance company felt her help to be worth. Explain that from your point of view the help and assistance she gave was priceless and if you were in a position to do so you would give her more.
You say that she knew nothing about the email her friend sent you, so it could be she does not agree with it. However if after talking to her she still maintains that she deserves more I would ask her if at the time she felt she was doing it for a future pay out and that you are somewhat hurt that she seems to be suggesting you are not being fair. I am guessing that the payment was to you, and in the break down it said that amount was for her losses etc. If so she has no legal right to the money. Yes it is hard but I would question if your continued friendship is even possible. How can you be friends with someone who feels that you owe them money? Yes I am sure you will always owe her your gratitude for being there when you needed her, yes I am sure if she was to find herself in the same situation you would offer to help her in the same way, but that does not equate to a monetary value. We help love ones because they are just that, loved ones.
Hope it works out for you and that you and her can agree on things. If not just remember you have done the right thing in offering her the money. If she chooses to take offence to that then the fault lies with her.
You say that she knew nothing about the email her friend sent you, so it could be she does not agree with it. However if after talking to her she still maintains that she deserves more I would ask her if at the time she felt she was doing it for a future pay out and that you are somewhat hurt that she seems to be suggesting you are not being fair. I am guessing that the payment was to you, and in the break down it said that amount was for her losses etc. If so she has no legal right to the money. Yes it is hard but I would question if your continued friendship is even possible. How can you be friends with someone who feels that you owe them money? Yes I am sure you will always owe her your gratitude for being there when you needed her, yes I am sure if she was to find herself in the same situation you would offer to help her in the same way, but that does not equate to a monetary value. We help love ones because they are just that, loved ones.
Hope it works out for you and that you and her can agree on things. If not just remember you have done the right thing in offering her the money. If she chooses to take offence to that then the fault lies with her.
Cheshire Cat
The most curious thing..
It's a sum determined by an insurance company, so if anyone has any issue with the amount they should be referred back to the insurance company - unless you want to make a "goodwill", "without prejudice" type of payment - but watch out for the lawyers if you do.
Gritt23
New member
MB, the Insurance Company have reviewed the situation and deemed £1.5k to be the financial value of what she did.
Is it fair? No.
Is your settled fair? Probably not.
You can both sit there over a drink and agree that it is all completely unfair, but at the end of the day, THAT is the amount that is due to her and you are merely passing it on. You haven't come up with that "value", you have just been sent the money, and chosen to pass it on to her.
I'm quite sure plenty of people would never have contacted her at all. For that she should be grateful to you, and not critical of a decision made by someone else that you are merely passing on.
"Don't shoot the messenger" is a phrase that sums it up.
Is it fair? No.
Is your settled fair? Probably not.
You can both sit there over a drink and agree that it is all completely unfair, but at the end of the day, THAT is the amount that is due to her and you are merely passing it on. You haven't come up with that "value", you have just been sent the money, and chosen to pass it on to her.
I'm quite sure plenty of people would never have contacted her at all. For that she should be grateful to you, and not critical of a decision made by someone else that you are merely passing on.
"Don't shoot the messenger" is a phrase that sums it up.