A Kyle Affair

[Meade's Ball]

As many well know, i was recently on the receiving end of a compensation claim for being in a hit and run all of 7 years ago. Now, part of the money i was given, a sum that won't have me settled for life, but offers a little security in case any health problems take a turn for the worse, is described as costs of care given to me by my girflriend of that time. The amount for her is £1.5k.

Now, i email her to say that this is the amount for her and how to transfer it over to her. No real reply. An email from her friend arrives in the morning after outlining me as a generally shameful person for giving her such a tiny sum after all she did for me. Also that there are a group of people who are in general agreement over the nastiness of my offer. I am taken aback at first. Then look to reply in anger. Then calm and simply say i'll talk to the actual ex-girlfriend over this.

I email the ex-girlfriend and she knows nothing of the email i've received. But. She has spoken to some people and does think she deserves more money from my claim.

I have agreed to meet her in a week and talk it through in person - not on live TV. But i'm sorry i'm not going to give her any money other than what the insurance company decided her time with me was due. She might think it an unfair amount, but i think it's a bit late in the day, considering we split 5 and a half years ago, to suddenly think she deserves some kind of a payment for being with me during a horrible time. If i paid her, then i should also pay my mother, my siblings, my friends and even the sorry likes of Lokki7 for showing up at the hospital and kindly accepting my braindead blather.

I think i need to be firm with her and hope she doesn't try to start some mad legal affairs for supposedly nursing me when i didn't ask her to.

There.
Any thoughts? Is that a bit rich from her or am i being mean by thinking of my future possible health needs and induced lack of career improvements thanks to the car crash?

 

[MattBackHome]

I think if you take the time to patiently explain the full situation, then she should accept the cash with little/no drama.

Weird situation- this effectively prolonging communication amongst two people who otherwise would have completely gone their separate ways, never to meet again.

But, if she declines then I'll have it...

 

[Surrey_Albion]

Firstly sorry for your accident glad your okay.

Secondly If the insurance company have stated that amount for her I cant see how a private lawsuit would make much difference TBH, its allot of money sounds like she is a bit greedy, I would be grateful for that sort of money!!

 

[Titus]

Pics.

 

[Icy Gull]

She was your girlfriend at the time? I'd have thought she'd look after you for nothing. I'd say you are well shot. Hope it doesn't cause you too much more stress, although from the tone of your post that's probably unlikely.

 

[kevo]

Firstly sorry for your accident glad your okay.

Secondly If the insurance company have stated that amount for her I cant see how a private lawsuit would make much difference TBH, its allot of money sounds like she is a bit greedy, I would be grateful for that sort of money!!

This really. I wouldn't worry about any legal action, the amount has been decided by the insurance company. Explain this to her - and also the reasoning behind the amount you are getting yourself. If you split years ago, even if she thinks you are being unfair, does it really matter?

 

[Aadam]

So your girlfriend cared for you when you were in an accident (something I would expect a partner to do out of love, not for some monetary motive) and the insurance company deem that to be x amount. If she has a problem with that, and thinks caring for you deserves some monetary reward she should take this up with the insurance, though you I'm sure, and say what she wants in terms of compensation.

I don't know the full situation, whether she had to take time off work, loss of income, or if she actually paid for care. But if she hasn't actually been out of pocket, I would have said this claim is £1,500 too much.

Would she really take legal action against an ex she looked after? She'd be laughed out of court.

 

[¡Cereal Killer!]

If I were in your shoes, she would be lucky to receive a penny.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I actually DO think that its a pretty desultory figure, but surely her complaints should be aimed at the insurance company, rather than yourself?

 

[Meade's Ball]

A friend of mine said i should simply say to her: Life's not fair. Eat shit.
I won't quite go down that line.
At the end of the day she helped me greatly and i'll always thank her. I don't think the amount given to her is necessarily fair for what she did and the trauma of it all, but i don't think i'm in a position to dish out cash to show my appreciation. If i'd got hundreds of grands then i could as it would have been meaningless to lose 10 gees. But i haven't.
Hopefully the friend was being a dick and my ex's tone will be quite different. I thought she'd be overjoyed that she got anything from the insurance people.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I actually DO think that its a pretty desultory figure, but surely her complaints should be aimed at the insurance company, rather than yourself?

Yeah that's what i think too. I sort of wish i could have nudged the solicitor a bit to challenge that part of the claim, but i didn't think it was a bad sum. And mainly, she didn't tell me when i told her of it that it should be that. I'd have of course helped her along with that and pressed the solicitor to do more, but i didn't really think of anything like that. Still, i don't think i should give her anything to make up for it.

 

[SK1NT]

She is being a money grabber... what is it about women always wanting even when you aren't with them...

Dont be nasty, be dignified and polite but don't give her a penny more... Simples

 

[The Optimist]

As long as it covers any lost earnings and any costs she incurred I can't see what she's got to complain about.

 

[kevo]

If you genuinely think the amount is unfair, but don't want to top it up yourself, why not buy her some kind of present as a thank you and a sign of your gratitude?

 

[Biscuit]

Give her the cheque and go. It's a sorry state of affairs but it's not your making and you've been through enough. Any disappointment on her part should not put on your shoulders.

 

[CHAPPERS]

Her friend can get to f***.

 

[magoo]

As long as it covers any lost earnings and any costs she incurred I can't see what she's got to complain about.

That's my thoughts too. You care for someone out of love not for the rewards you might get.

 

[Stat Brother]

As long as it covers any lost earnings and any costs she incurred I can't see what she's got to complain about.

Which if she is going to be cold and money driven is the right answer.

If your accident directly cost her more than £1.5k, you're in for a tricky conversation.

If it cost her nothing, financially, you hold the cards and it becomes 'this or nothing'.

Sorry to be cold and heartless, but it's the only way to deal with finance.

 

[Rugrat]

If the insurance company saw fit to pay her something then presumably this wasn't just her looking after you when she got home from work. I guess it's really down to what level of care she did provide, did she have to give up her job, did she care for you full time or just do the stuff that most spouses will do, how long did it go on for etc? All this plus how much of what you got is to protect you for the future vs a payment for what happened at the time. It's all far too complex for anyone here to answer and I'd work on the basis that you give her (or she gets) whatever amount that leaves you with a clear conscience

 

[nwgull]

First of all, look after number one; you don't owe you ex any favours, and the care she gave you is part and parcel of a relationship.

If she does feel that she is owed more and has a quantifiable claim, e.g. taking leave from work, then she should take it up with the insurers. The money they have given you is for YOUR suffering and loss of earnings, not hers.

Her friends sound like money grabbing bitches.