[Food] 34 custard creams

[Pavilionaire]

Exactly. What kind of mentalist counts custard creams?

A custard cream-counting c*nt?

 

[AmexRuislip]

My son in law has just confessed to me that he has just eaten 34 custard creams in a short scoff up. Just over 2000 calories. He is 27 and not overweight. They were 36p down from 44p in Morrisons....

I’d like some sort of response from NSC

Stand well back when he blows, there's going to be a hell of a mess to clear up.

 

[Questions]

A custard cream-counting c*nt?

That’s easy for you to say.

 

[Poojah]

I generally eat quite well but biscuits are the one thing I can’t have in the house because I’ll just plough through an entire pack in one sitting if they are to hand.
I have a huge mug that can easily accommodate the dunking of a regular sized pack of biscuits.

I’ll go for almost any biscuit except hob-nobs (it’s not the taste, it’s the texture) , garibaldis (raisins make me gag) or ginger nuts (ginger irritates my throat).

Like you, I generally eat well and visit the gym four or five times a week, but have a bit of a weakness for things that come in packets bigger than a single serving, e.g. packets of biscuits or those giant bags of crisps. I just find that if I accidentally overstep the halfway line, there’s this thing in my head that says “well there’s no point in putting them back now”.

As a result I just tend not to buy such things. However, my kids have a drawer in the fridge full of little chocolate bars and such, as well as a cupboard full of multipack crisps. As a man of good restraint who values a healthy BMI, this is not a problem.

That is, until, píssed me enters the fray. There have been times when I’ve clearly come in after a session, having done well to avoid the obligatory kebab, only for things to really go to shít on my arrival home. On more than one occasion I’ve woken to a strange and unplaceable feeling of guilt and shame, only to go downstairs to discover a bin literally containing the remains of about 8 bags of crisps, six penguin bars, a few kit kats and a big bag of giant chocolate buttons. I daren’t even calculate the calories!

 

[lawros left foot]

Well, this thread takes the biscuit.
I hope his digestive tract is up to it, it must have proved to be a rich tea even at that price, but, I suppose for more money he would have had to hob nob with people who aren’t short ( of ) bread. If he avoids becoming obese, he’ll be a jammy dodger.
Is his favourite player, Lewis Dunk?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

I haven't had my tea yet.

I now feel slightly ill.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Can easily do a pack of chocolate digestives

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[The Clamp]

Like you, I generally eat well and visit the gym four or five times a week, but have a bit of a weakness for things that come in packets bigger than a single serving, e.g. packets of biscuits or those giant bags of crisps. I just find that if I accidentally overstep the halfway line, there’s this thing in my head that says “well there’s no point in putting them back now”.

As a result I just tend not to buy such things. However, my kids have a drawer in the fridge full of little chocolate bars and such, as well as a cupboard full of multipack crisps. As a man of good restraint who values a healthy BMI, this is not a problem.

That is, until, píssed me enters the fray. There have been times when I’ve clearly come in after a session, having done well to avoid the obligatory kebab, only for things to really go to shít on my arrival home. On more than one occasion I’ve woken to a strange and unplaceable feeling of guilt and shame, only to go downstairs to discover a bin literally containing the remains of about 8 bags of crisps, six penguin bars, a few kit kats and a big bag of giant chocolate buttons. I daren’t even calculate the calories!

Ha! I’m very similar in my habits. At the gym most days, eat a lot of fish, veg, salad etc. But for me it’s not so much when I’m drunk but when I’m hungover.
I’ll pop to the nearest shop and gather up pork scratchings, any 2 for quid Bobbi’s bags of mini poppadums, prawn crackers etc. And gorge!

I don’t drink a huge amount these days coz of shift work but when I get time off, if I have worked a lot of night shifts in a row I can be a bit like a sailor on shore leave and have at least one big night at the pub.
If you think about it, in the pub, five or six hours can whizz past, you’re bound to be hungry when you get home or the next morning.

Luckily I am in my forties and those nights are rarer now.

 

[Eeyore]

I normally have a Morrisons own brand rich tea with my coffee.

Correction

I normally have ten Morrisons own brand rich teas with my coffee.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Can easily do a pack of chocolate digestives

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What a whole packet in your gob at once, that'll be about right for a plumber

 

[GREASED WEASEL]

Can't get anywhere near 34 CC's
Packet of Jaffa cakes
10 pack of tunnocks
4 pack ice cream mars bars
No problem,not all together mind

 

[Deleted member 2719]

My son in law has just confessed to me that he has just eaten 34 custard creams in a short scoff up. Just over 2000 calories. He is 27 and not overweight. They were 36p down from 44p in Morrisons....

I’d like some sort of response from NSC.

I hope you said to him, I admire your budgetary skills, however, you clearly missed the best deal, a bag of silver spoon sugar for a pumping big 4k of calories for just 70p.

Yes, you got it ONLY 35p / 2000 calories.

He must be nuts.

 

[Stat Brother]

I’d like some sort of response from NSC.

Is that all...







...pussy.

 

[Palacefinder General]

Like The Clamp, I can’t have any crap in the house. I’ve gone through those custard cream or bourbon 36 double family packs in minutes and am still looking around for more. 200g bar of chocolate goes in equally quick time. I literally have to be on the point of feeling sick before I’ll stop. It’s like being a heroin addict, just without the heroin. Not an ounce of fat on me, god knows how furred up the arteries are though. A rabid sweet tooth runs in the family.

 

[Diablo]

My son in law has just confessed to me that he has just eaten 34 custard creams in a short scoff up. Just over 2000 calories. He is 27 and not overweight. They were 36p down from 44p in Morrisons....

I’d like some sort of response from NSC.

Sounds like a Tesco 400g pack on offer at the moment. 34 in a packet.....Sadly I could easily do the same ! Foxs golden crunch however are my favourite along with the good old Mcvities Chocolate Digestives.
I unlike you son in law am overweight!!

 

[Questions]

Sounds like a Tesco 400g pack on offer at the moment. 34 in a packet.....Sadly I could easily do the same ! Foxs golden crunch however are my favourite along with the good old Mcvities Chocolate Digestives.
I unlike you son in law am overweight!!

You are right, they were from Tesco and not Morrisons, I’m making more and more mistakes like this.

 

[bhafc99]

I’d like some sort of response from NSC.

I can’t comment because my browser is set to not accept cookies.




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[DavidinSouthampton]

I hope he’s sick!����

 

[zefarelly]

Most biscuits are horribly processed and laden with palm oil.

I’m more of a cheese & butter person, just as bad

Incan do a pack of jaffa cakes quicker than a Romanian stray dog though. If they’re the French white chocolate/cherry or lemon ones I’d probably eliminate the dog before its sniff registered on its brain!

 

[Weststander]

At Uni, into sport with youth on my side, I could easily demolish a packet and half of McVities Abbey Crunch in an afternoon session, dunked in coffee.

Or out in Brighton, devour three donor kebabs at 3am (from the place just down from Brighton Train Station).

Whilst always underweight. Age and metabolism on my side.