***2013 Worlds Hardest Creature Competition- Quarter Finals- Cassowary vs Hippo***

[Mellotron]

No, but just because a hippo is large and fat, doesn't mean it isn't hard either. They are grumpy aggressive motherfuckers.

'Crocodiles are particularly frequent targets of hippo aggression, likely due to the fact that they often inhabit the same riparian habitats as hippos. Crocodiles may be either aggressively displaced or killed by hippopotamuses. Hippos are also very aggressive towards humans, whom they commonly attack whether in boats or on land with no apparent provocation.[60] They are widely considered to be one of the most dangerous large animals in Africa.'

Pound for pound hardness. Hippos SHOULD beat up Crocs.

 

[Munkfish]

I'm sorry but this is complete bullshit!

THE Cassowary is going to lose this out of no fault of its own, been let down here by the voting public big time.

 

[Kazenga <3]

The problem with this competition is that we who love it have failed to publicise it properly. As such, morons who don't understand the concept of HARDNESS and DOUBLEBATSHITMENTALFUCKERY are simply clicking on the thread and deciding 'Who would win in a fight between these two? Oh yeah the one 6 times the size of the other.'

This competition is POUND 4 POUND. Its about those animals which challenge the boundaries of the food chain and say 'You know what, I don't give a f*** you are built like a brick shithouse and twice the size of me, I'm still going to kick you in the c***'. Its not about the massive animals that laze about in the mud all day and could sit on you if they could be bothered to hoist their gargantuan arse from the floor- there is NOTHING hard about that.

It is an absolute travesty that the undisputed king of fuckwittery, the Cassowary, is going to be eliminated because a bunch of simpletons voted for the fat bully.

 

[Mellotron]

The problem with this competition is that we who love it have failed to publicise it properly. As such, morons who don't understand the concept of HARDNESS and DOUBLEBATSHITMENTALFUCKERY are simply clicking on the thread and deciding 'Who would win in a fight between these two? Oh yeah the one 6 times the size of the other.'

This competition is POUND 4 POUND. Its about those animals which challenge the boundaries of the food chain and say 'You know what, I don't give a f*** you are built like a brick shithouse and twice the size of me, I'm still going to kick you in the c***'. Its not about the massive animals that laze about in the mud all day and could sit on you if they could be bothered to hoist their gargantuan arse from the floor- there is NOTHING hard about that.

It is an absolute travesty that the undisputed king of fuckwittery, the Cassowary, is going to be eliminated because a bunch of simpletons voted for the fat bully.

This should be posted at the start of each annual tournament. Read it.

 

[Ⓩ-Ⓐ-Ⓜ-Ⓞ-Ⓡ-Ⓐ]

 

[Mellotron]

That picture almost made me flinch. He looks so ready to kick off. He doesn't care WHAT you are.

 

[Bold Seagull]

The problem with this competition is that we who love it have failed to publicise it properly. As such, morons who don't understand the concept of HARDNESS and DOUBLEBATSHITMENTALFUCKERY are simply clicking on the thread and deciding 'Who would win in a fight between these two? Oh yeah the one 6 times the size of the other.'

This competition is POUND 4 POUND. Its about those animals which challenge the boundaries of the food chain and say 'You know what, I don't give a f*** you are built like a brick shithouse and twice the size of me, I'm still going to kick you in the c***'. Its not about the massive animals that laze about in the mud all day and could sit on you if they could be bothered to hoist their gargantuan arse from the floor- there is NOTHING hard about that.

It is an absolute travesty that the undisputed king of fuckwittery, the Cassowary, is going to be eliminated because a bunch of simpletons voted for the fat bully.

However, just because the Hippo is fat and large, doesn't mean it can't be hard. Nothing much can bother them and yet still they go after crocs, which can kill them in sufficient numbers and they seemingly do it for fun. They don't eat meat and yet pick fights with anything that comes near them. Pound 4 Pound, if a hippo was the size of a domestic cat, I think it would still be a grumpy have-a-go bastard with serious aggressiveness and attitude.

That isn't to say the Cassoway shouldn't win, however it's not the one sided contest you're portraying. There is also a difference between outright hardness and simply being nuts.

 

[Badger]

However, just because the Hippo is fat and large, doesn't mean it can't be hard. Nothing much can bother them and yet still they go after crocs, which can kill them in sufficient numbers and they seemingly do it for fun. They don't eat meat and yet pick fights with anything that comes near them. Pound 4 Pound, if a hippo was the size of a domestic cat, I think it would still be a grumpy have-a-go bastard with serious aggressiveness and attitude.

That isn't to say the Cassoway shouldn't win, however it's not the one sided contest you're portraying. There is also a difference between outright hardness and simply being nuts.

This is the problem with this competition, the Hippo isn't going to come across a creature that is five times its size so how do we know whether it would kick off or run away? All the people trying to state the rules seem to class hard as "small animal picks a fight with big animal", which would exclude all big animals.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

It is an absolute travesty that the undisputed king of fuckwittery, the Cassowary, is going to be eliminated because a bunch of simpletons voted for the fat bully.

I'd call it irony more than a travesty. What with a f*** wit being the same as a simpleton.

Just to throw some facts into the Hippo Cassowary battle. The Hippo is extremely aggressive, unpredictable and unlike many animals not scared of humans. From "The Dangerous Hippo," Science Digest, LXXVI (November, 1974), 80-86, by George W. Frame and Lory Herbison Frame:

Nearly all of the famous African explorers and hunters--Livingstone, Stanley, Burton, Selous, Speke, DuChaillu--had boating mishaps with hippos. All considered the hippo to be a wantonly malicious beast. Not long ago Spencer Tyron, a white hunter, was killed while hunting near the shores of Lake Rukwa, Tanzania. A bull hippo turned over the dugout canoe from which Tyron was shooting, and bit off his head and shoulders.

They are also surprisingly agile and fast for beasts of their size. They fight each other or other animals on a daily(or near daily) basis, the scars that cris cross their bodies are evidence of this.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

This is the problem with this competition, the Hippo isn't going to come across a creature that is five times its size so how do we know whether it would kick off or run away? All the people trying to state the rules seem to class hard as "small animal picks a fight with big animal", which would exclude all big animals.

No, not at all. But by default most large animals are lumbersome and rely on weight rather than FEROCIOUSNESS.

A polar bear however is MASSIVE and mental.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

There is also a difference between outright hardness and simply being nuts.

This is an important point.

 

[Bladders]

Even if both animal were the same size I still say the Hippo wins.

 

[Silent Bob]

The Cassowary gets killed by dogs. It isn't hard. Ok bye.

 

[Sussax]

The Cassowary also kills dogs and humans, it's got my vote.

 

[JCL - the new kid in town]

i think i've been persuaded into the Cassowary vote, go bird....

 

[Silent Bob]

"Unrestrained and wild dogs are a major cause of cassowary deaths, particularly in areas near residential development. Chicks and sub-adults are small enough to be killed by dogs. However, packs of dogs also kill adult birds, pursuing them until they are exhausted, then attacking them. Dogs also indirectly affect cassowaries through their very presence, influencing the feeding, movements and general behaviour of the birds. Domestic dogs can also attack and kill cassowaries when the birds wander into suburban areas seeking food or water."

Cassowary (Department of Environment and Heritage Protection)

Put this technicolour emu in the bin of history

 

[The Modfather]

Hippo for me

 

[Kazenga <3]

Only 5 in it. Potentially the greatest comeback since Lazarus rose from the dead?

I implore you to vote Cassowary.

 

[Flex Your Head]

The problem with this competition is that we who love it have failed to publicise it properly. As such, morons who don't understand the concept of HARDNESS and DOUBLEBATSHITMENTALFUCKERY are simply clicking on the thread and deciding 'Who would win in a fight between these two? Oh yeah the one 6 times the size of the other.'

This competition is POUND 4 POUND. Its about those animals which challenge the boundaries of the food chain and say 'You know what, I don't give a f*** you are built like a brick shithouse and twice the size of me, I'm still going to kick you in the c***'. Its not about the massive animals that laze about in the mud all day and could sit on you if they could be bothered to hoist their gargantuan arse from the floor- there is NOTHING hard about that.

It is an absolute travesty that the undisputed king of fuckwittery, the Cassowary, is going to be eliminated because a bunch of simpletons voted for the fat bully.

Top canvassing; my vote goes to the mad feathered bastard.

 

[Mellotron]

This is the problem with this competition, the Hippo isn't going to come across a creature that is five times its size so how do we know whether it would kick off or run away? All the people trying to state the rules seem to class hard as "small animal picks a fight with big animal", which would exclude all big animals.

Pretty much. And? It's not an animal's fault if it doesn't get to be "hard", but them's the breaks. It's the world's hardest creature competition. Being massive isn't hard.