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Joke brought to you by Antiques Roadshow

I've knocked work on the head but Mrs H still keeps her hand in : This year one of the team suggested buying the bosses a gift to say thank you for being nice to them all year. I'll leave the collective to guess her answer...

It would seem a bit previous for the CPS to say the police office will not face any charges if the IOPC are still investigating it.

Did you pay by credit card. If so and it's over £100, then S75 protection applies.

I'm just stuck on the icicles and the label now

Mods please merge with the "I've done acid before tea" thread

Walked round the harbour yesterday and there was a feller with one of these things. It was muzzled and calm but it still scared me, the sheer size of it. As I've said before, if people are allowed to own and walk these bastards, I should be allowed to own and carry a .357 magnum.

Putting him on a postage stamp is over rewarding him, a knighthood is taking the piss.

Up to 60 now

That's the next few days lost

If I were to receive one I would send it back. Even my relatives in America send "Christmas" cards (sponsored by the NRA*) *probably

I'd suggest asking some of the Always Ultras, they seem adept at getting into the Amex without a ticket.

Between 1978 and 1990 I went to hundreds of gigs (that's why my hearing is f*cked). Local ones were pay at the door or buy a ticket at Virgin or the box office. Went to a lot in the London and mostly it was send a cheque or postal order and a SAE and hope. When I finally managed to convince...

Soap ?

A destruction order is the last resort and only used if necessary, often a control order such as muzzling when outside or rehoming the dog if the owner cannot cope is a better resolution. As with most offences, there are varying degrees of seriousness/harm and to warrant destruction you have to...

"One family member told the BBC the dog, named Hunter, had never shown any form of aggression and that the attack was out of character." I've sat on a number of dangerous dog prosecutions and there's one thing they ALWAYS say is that "he's never done it before".

Chinese sellers will also pull the item and relist it under a different seller name if it gets bad reviews. We had some grow lights that caused a fire and when I posted a review (with photos), they pulled all their items. Two days later they were all back up under a different name.

Sometime in the 80s a bunch of us telephone engineers booked a christmas party at the Norfolk Hotel. We were a bit rowdy but nothing terrible happened until one of the party (I remember who but I'm not a grass) dropped his guts in the bar right next to where the owner, Alfred Feld (former mayor...

Late 80s I worked with a knobhead who was also a proper tightarse. At the Christmas do we'd all chipped in for the food and a decent amount of vino. Knobhead alternated between swilling red wine and bragging about the "Brand new Rover 216 VANDEN PLAS" he'd picked up the week before, "YEAH, TOP...