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??? They don't have multiple fried chicken shops in Croydon ? I've stopped by in several over the years. And they are quite often my go-to after a night out on the sauce locally as well. What gives ?

Don't forget, coming up this Saturday lunchtime its live coverage from Deera Square in downtown Riyadh for the Stoning of the Gays, on the state news channel Al Ekhbariya. Sadly there is no Newcastle game to transfer to. Instead, we'll followed the live beheadings of 11 Saudi dissidents. And...

Happy for you. I'm sure they're dancing in the fried chicken shops of Croydon as we speak.

Its all on the Chelski thread.

Much like the scotch at Wembley - wildly celebrating scraping a 0-0 win.

I'm not doubting its a cracking little funster. But really, you need a peroxide frizz, cherry lipgloss, a push-up bra and more chewing gum than Alex Ferguson to jump behind the wheel of one of those. Glad you enjoyed it x

Hope you're aware there will be loads of FOREIGNERS there.

Abarths are for hairdressers and 'kept women' who's husbands want to keep them out of their Mercs.

Saved by the woodwork x2, follow-ups blazed over again. Yep, this is textbook stuff. Should be 4-0.

You're making the flawed assumption that these drooling monobrowed slack-jawed dilberts actually possess minds.

I am behaving. Not quite sure what chances you're referring to. A couple of breaks resulting in...nothing. Not even an effort on goal. Whilst City have been camped in your half peppering the goal. Its all set up for another snide, of the type you've managed against BHA the last couple of...

Agreed. City have already chucked away enough chances to win 3 games, so its all falling into place. Palace will ride their luck till they get the chance to earn another scabby pen.

Palace 9/1 for the win. Silva already muffed a tap-in when Gaita spilled it at his feet. Would be typical of that filth to somehow snide a result.

I couldn't afford a personalised numberplate. So I changed my surname to HL04 UKZ.

I'm quite sure they would. A 20 year stretch in Butlinski, breaking up boulders in a quarry and digging up frozen turnips. Probably still preferable to a week in Bognor, mind.

I'd take a utility bill along if I were you, just in case. I've left an old water bill in my glovebox for a while now for this purpose. There's no accounting for some of the hi-viz jobsworth pricks you can encounter at the gate.

Well that was a little slag now wasn't it. I had 4 letters in place from my 3rd attempt, and scraped home with a 6. Was lucky to get that as well, there was still 3 other words it could still have been.

I hadn't given it much thought. I can't even remember if I'd remembered tbh, I'm of that age. That said I'll be WFH that day, so its an excuse to clock off nice and early, mince into town for a scoff, a few beers, and some quality me-time alone in a corner with a newspaper. Lovely stuff.

Nice idea, but not really viable. Missions are routinely recorded like dashcam footage for post-mission debrief. If he dropped his payload in a field and / or ejected, writing off a $15-$20m warplane in the process, then the pilot would likely be spending his forseeable future in a Siberian...

If nothing else, I'll be delighted not to see that gormless, gurning mug of his staring out blankly across the pitch every time he attends a game. I've seen more animation in a broken dishwasher.