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Blimey I'd consider taking a Palace win over Kylie. Not in the same ball park as Kelly Brook. Don't see the appeal at all.

Who writes the 'Live Reporting' on the BBC home page, trite, juvenile clichés and naff metaphors throughout so far.

Does Dick Head set an alarm on match day mornings, put up the thread then go back to sleep?

He might not be but you only hold onto a want away player for so long. Not even the biggest club in Sussex, Dorset and Kent, plus the universe, Liverpool FC, could keep Suarez, Coutinho etc.

Always surprises me how many ex players/staff of ours still have a main Wikipedia photo of them in BHA clobber long after they leave us, them sometimes having played for several clubs since and yet still the page isn’t updated. I’m sure Murray’s page still had him in BHA gear when he was at...

They recently set up a university for hippopotami. While most students will study on satellite sites, the neurology students will study on the main hippocampus.

Use Google instead. I was going to make a doc appointment for a painful ingrowing toenail, Googled it and the NHS website said it wasn’t something GPs want to be bothered with and that you can treat it yourself at home. You should have stuck the thumb top back on with sellotape and got on with...

Hair: Jahanbakhsh.

I’m sure if Johnson, Cameron and their parents clubbed together they could quite comfortably cover the NHS shortfall and still have enough left over for their annual ‘Bullingdon Old Boys’ subscriptIons.

To quote BBC 6 Music: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi

:lolol: I bet you’ve never worn a salmon pink jumper on your shoulders with the sleeves tied round your neck.

I did have my suspicions, his reply to a Gullsworth post from last season highlighted in bold below:: Quote Originally Posted by *Gullsworth* View Post Perhaps Potter will be manager at Brighton next season and Chris Hughton manager of Swansea? ‘They'll be playing Premier League football in...

As was said on AFTV (guilty pleasure) - if Arsenal don’t get a Champions League place for next season they’ll both be off in the summer.

BHA win. No interest whatsoever in the rugby.

Stupid TV lapped up by stupid people. It’s not called ‘the idiot box’ for nothing.

Sometimes I think Will Gompetz gets away with it, other times I’m not so sure. Fair play to him for not going down without a fight though.

Trossard ???

Why not just buy a clipper set and do it yourself at home?

The first time I realised I was losing it was in a service station on the way back from Birmingham 2 BHA 2 in the late 90s. Up at the till I caught a CCTV image on the monitor behind the till from a wall-mounted camera trained down on the back of my head. Ruined a good away day.

David Batty