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If Salah had scored that goal, it would have been made into a 9 episode Netflix documentary tracing it all back to him as a 6 year old playing with an inflated goats spleen in the shadow of the Giza pyramids.

OK. Can we get back to the actual bellcheesery ? The other day I went to release a flock of pigeons into the ground floor disabled toilet, only to find it occupied. The toilets on my floor have trap 1 and 2, but I have a dislike of defecating directly next to somebody in close proximity. The...

Ever been to Chichen Itza ? The Mayans built their pyramids in such a way that at Equinox, the shadows and the sun would gradually reveal a sacred serpent from the top of the stone pyramid all the way to the bottom (and can still be witnessed to this day). That was around 900AD. Thats...

This is how I get around it at the turnstile.

Footballers never seem capable of taking responsibility for their actions. Jay Rodriguez - "I'm glad that all charges were dropped, I've cleared my name and was found innocent" - no you weren't. It was deemed "not proven" due to lack of evidence, not that you didn't do it. Ivan Toney - "there...

Airstrike. Ideally.

I'm doing it for WHU. A mate of mine drives from Ferring and has booked this up, so I'll mince along to EDF and meet him there. (after a nice little sesh in the Vic). Snorted.

Absolutely. He bought the pillowcases, selected the sheets, chose the duvet, and made that bed up for himself. The bed that he promptly went and shat in yesterday. Lovely.

Wrexham are one of my go-to's in BTTS. Hopefully this won't adversely affect that.

Seeing Cucurella, Sanchez and Caicedo fail miserably at Chelsea would be one of the most deeply delicious, enjoyable aspects of this season, and any BHA fan who WOULDN'T revel in that is frankly a bit odd, and doesn't really get football. I wish them nothing but failure and misery at Stamford...

I think there are going to be several players from last season watching us now, and thinking "why did I leave ?". OK they've proper filled their trousers, and helped get their "advisors" a new penthouse. But when they're sat at home, watching our wonderful team absolutely shredding the...

I feel like I'm back at the fans forum

I love that phrase "we were following Fred but with the headlights off" :lolol: There's something slightly sinister but very italian about it.

Evil vermin. She should never feel the sun on her face ever again for the rest of her worthless life.

That sounds about right. If I'm walking all the way from home in Portslade, it takes an hour along the seafront to reach the Palace Pier, and then about another hour from there up Lewes Road to the Amex. I usually factor in about 2 1/4 hours, but longer if I'm getting SPANNERED along the way of...

This of course assumes you can get any kind of mobile reception around the vicinity of Falmer station - of which I have zero. I also bailed on the train queue as soon as I heard about the trespassing nimrods. Having not anticipated this, and not knowing that there was an entire fleet of empty...

All well and good, but a bus - there and back - takes an ALMIGHTY chunk out of the day. It takes long enough to get there just from the Steine on a bus, let alone from Portslade. And with the trains out of action for WHU, that sounds like a whole lot more fun dunnit. I just cannot be arsed with...

What a pity. The Amex was delivered on time and within budget, not something you can ever take for granted on such a major project, particularly starting completely from scratch. I think they did the MK Dongs stadium as well (which is decent, if rather empty and soulless).

I'll make a decision on it next week for the WHU game. If its still a travel shitshow, then some cashback and a barstool is mightily tempting.

Potter doing the dirty and splitting up with us for someone else was like getting dumped by a slightly pasty vegan hippy, but then a couple of weeks later somehow hooking up with Shakira.