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I went to get a KitKat before the game. They only had VEGAN KitKats. I actually thought they were joking - they weren't. There it was, resplendent in its green wrapper. What have we become.

Yes, that was most enjoyable.

I don't. It was utterly moronic. Roy knew he was hobbled in the week, wasn't fit enough to start, so it was a massive risk to put him on. The compounding factor was we'd already batted them out of the game - did he really think Olise would single-handedly turn that round ?? If RDZ threw on a...

Palace's utterly pointless consolation goal helped bring home my BTTS acca, adding 82 sheets to my beer tokens. The only thing was that it was Mateta. I really wanted to say "I thank Ayew". But unfortunately much like the rest of them, he's total shite.

As the season has gone on, Joao Pedro has just got better and better. He has a deceptively languid style, but his touch and control is elite. He tracks back, he runs the channels, creates space, pulls defences around, he scores all types of goals and seems to have the perfect temperament and...

We're going to be seeing that popping up for YEARS. And so will they.

Its a shame that this result means no more to you than a routine win against anyone else in the league. Palace fans are tearing themselves apart over this tonight. They're hurt, they're furious, they're embarrassed, they're miserable. We did that to them, and absolutely rubbed their noses in it...

Apollo Creed has died again 😞 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68188746 RIP Carl.

Paul 'sicknote' Kitson. Constantly broken, clearly couldn't be arsed.

I was stroking my chins at this as well. Virdi, as PM, was about as bad as it gets. Absolutely no direction on the budget, terrible delegation, a bone-headed decision to eschew alcohol for the lunch, and completely f*cked up on the timing of the groups arrival, causing the lunch to be a total...

Well...I still thought an early 2nd half goal might just give us a little foothold, and give them a bit of a rattle. But I was catastrophically wrong. I think I'll just open that bottle of Cockburns still loafing about in the cupboard from Christmas, and survey the online aftermath.

By far the earliest I've EVER bailed on a game, either live or on TV. Just cannot hack it. Its switched off, and I'm making some beans on toast. Will check the damage later. Its all about the reaction now. We need to take this out on the filth.

I can recall a set of away fans at the Goldstone chanting "TRIALS FOR LEICESTER" at Clive Walker every time he was on the ball. Myself and my mates were somewhat nonplussed at this slightly odd chant. Until we realised what they were actually saying was "child molester".

VVD has already come out and said he is considering his future now that Liverpool will be Kloppless (18 months left on his contract). Salah is in the same 18 month boat. It may not just be Klopp they end up losing this summer.

So 11 of 13 penalties the keeper has gone the wrong way, shrinking to 1 in 10 for BHA. I think thats too large a sample size for it to be down to luck or coincidence. He's doing something. Its probably illegal.

Might help if it plugs some holes in defence.

Piece of piss, you'll be on Portland Road within a minute. Lovely short queue at the Amex as well. Good chance of being home in time for Gladiators.

About 12 I think

Booked up EDF P&R this morning. The town centre and station will be CARNAGE on Saturday. Very pleased indeed to be avoiding all that abject BUFFOONERY.