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Was Casualty Evacuated (CASEVAC) from Portugal in a Hercules after bowel surgery. I was placed in a stretcher inside the main hold. luckily for me, the crabfat Warrant Officer came and spoke to me to ask how I was. I explained my predicament and informed him I was fully of gas (blockage in my...

Chocolate

That must have been taken with the worlds longest selfie stick, surely?

blame

steak

Staring at the rude boys - the ruts

Electricity - Orchestral Man Hoovers in the Dark

Just put the phone down to a gentleman called Andy from an insurance company. he asked me how I was after a recent car accident. I said 'Andy, I died in that accident and you are talking to my spirit'. he was speechless for a while, giggled to himself and I then said 'Andy, fork off!!!!!'

Tobacco Road - Mud

cracking joke

21,859

SLIB = Second Leave Is Best HTHSPCHOOTROTDCOTUDCASDAHANBCDS3CY = ?

I came second in a 'good looking git' competition. There was only me in it.

crumbs

fish

kettle

In the Navy - Village People :salute:

Baby I don't care - transvision vamp

Is that you Piers?

My coo ca choo - Alvin Stardust