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Next week I'm half expecting Will Smith and Barack Obama to turn up with some uzi's and some home boys to hose down Mar-a-Lago, only for Donald to turn up on his balcony with an AK47 in a "say hello to ma lil' FRIEND" moment, kill everyone in sight, somersault onto the lawn then make off on a...

If a rugby player can bite down on a fake vial of blood, then Trump can certainly slap one on his ear. And the fact is - he's desperate. I really wouldn't put anything past him and his 'people' to get his arse back in the Oval Office. You're probably right though, likely nothing to see here. I...

I once watched a stripper lay down on a bar, and proceed to pull a long string of Union Jack flags out of her minky. We hung them up all around the pub. This didn't happen in Southampton (or Crawley), but it fair stirred up some patriotic fervour regardless.

With little sausages on toast, some grated cheese and worcester sauce ? An absolutely PERFECT can't-be-arsed evening meal from a tin. Or a cheap late night post-pub banquet, if the queue at the kebab shop was too long.

Charlatan.

I was still a bit chinny reckon on the first one tbh, being as he got such great pics out of it, and seems to have grown a new ear. This latest one, after he got proper slapped in the debate a few days ago...good timing for another "heroic defiant" boost to a flagging campaign innit. Trump is a...

I recall buying a tuna sandwich at a service station once, ignorant of the fact that some cucumber was lurking within. One bite later, the offending snack was rapidly winging its way out of the window at 75mph onto the hard shoulder of the M42, as I frantically chugged down a Red Bull to...

Cucumber. Absolutely vile, pollutes everything it comes into contact with. Liver / kidney. The texture is disgusting. Sushi. Just the thought of it makes me GAG

Easter ?

I was there about a month ago just before the season started, after mincing along to the club shop. It looks EXACTLY the same. If these blokes were building my extension, all tea perks would be suspended.

Modern twist ? So let your voices ring my boys, and take the time from me And I'll sing you a song as we march along of LGBQT

Why do people buy chocolate bars at the Amex ? Surely most people pass a newsagents on the way, or can stock up on multipacks from the supermarket of whatever they want to take along with them ? Asking for a friend.

This is really it. There was a big interview with all 3 of them in the Sunday Times magazine the other week, mainly headed by Clarkson, and he was pretty clear that they wouldn't be producing shows together any more. Clarkson is tied up with his farm now, and (hopefully) will be churning out a...

Suppose. Much like elite footballers, they can never, EVER have enough money.

Never mind the crap movies, it amazes me to see A-listers turn up in crap adverts. Does George Clooney really need to do those shite coffee ads ? Or Harvey Keitel do his Mr Wolf in those insurance ads ? You'd think with the careers they've had, they'd never need to work another day in their...

Colluding to achieve artificially inflated sponsorship deals with business partners, and secretly backhanding employees (Mancini) off the books on the snide to keep within FFP (amongst dozens of other dodgy dealings). Its different to what the likes of Everton and Forest were charged with...

Red Sox vs Yankees is on BBC Sport (red button) and iPlayer on Sunday at 19.30. You have not been charged for this information.

Looks like you're drinking too much tea.

Jordan makes for entertaining radio as he is forthright, honest and knowledgable. But bloody hell he doesn't 'arf LOVE the sound of his own voice. If he was an ice cream, he'd lick himself. Jim Shite is just his enternal brown-nose lickspittle. If it wasn't for the cameras in the studio, I...

EXCELLENT point. If I'm WFH and the doris is home as well, then she cracks on with the chores AND waits on me hand and foot - within reason, as long as I don't push it. A steady stream of tea, a sandwich here and there, or a cheese & ham toastie (she does wonderful toasties). If I'm not very...