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So, what was most needed, but shockingly absent from last night's shambles? COMMUNICATION! When it comes to the successful management of large crowds, clear and timely communication is absolutely key to success. In its total absence, memories of Hillsborough come to mind, as they did last...

Other horrors include: – Increase replaced by Uptick. Now used routinely on the BBC, even by government spokespersons. Got, replaced by Gotten – which sounds ridiculous, unless you're writing the Bible or making gains acquired by devious means.

Surely, it crops up about once a month. Period.

Well played, sir! Or should that be, er, This?

No rescue needed here! Don't expect everyone to be aware of a certain 19-goal,1970s Yorkshire-born forward named Allan...

These words are in need of urgent rescue: – Probably (adv) now increasingly replaced by likely (English adjective). As in: Bissouma will likely leave Albion. WRONG! Affect (vb) worryingly trumped by impact (English noun). As in: The latest tax rise will impact millions. WRONG! Call me...

There ya go. A genuine 1960s artefact.

Denouement: The BHI website led me to Wheelers in Worthing: long established family firm, on-site workshop, nice people. They sourced parts, full service plus new crystal. Took three weeks. £250 but well worth it. Highly recommended!

Other half's big birthday coming up, so looking for a nice Sussex hotel, country setting, acres of grounds, spa facilities, etc, you know the sort of thing. Been to Ashdown Park – ticked most boxes but spa a bit limited. So, time to ask the great and the good of NSC for your esteemed...

. Car, you say? CAR? You were lucky... When I were a lad, we used to have to walk aye, 10 mile, carrying our own milk crate to stand on AND wor Dad's bottles of brown ale... AND we all had Northern accents, even though we lived in Hove... etc, etc

True, except there's another dimension of value in play here. Sentimental.

Thanks for all the helpful replies - NSC at its finest. I'll update once the repair's completed, in a few weeks' time.

I did just that, and have now booked the repair with a guy in Worthing. Many thanks for the tip!

Double Post.

If only there were some kind of organisation that any Albion enthusiast could join, independent from the Club but meeting regularly with the aim of providing a focus for supporters' interests, and an opportunity to meet periodically to discuss opinions and concerns with the management. Ha...

Many thanks for the advice. I'll check out the BHI website and see if they can come up with a suitably accredited local repairer.

The watch was sent to Tissot via TH Baker, who told me the part required was no longer available from Tissot! Incredible....

I have a 60-year old Tissot watch that needs fixing. Apparently needs parts not stocked by Tissot (according to TH Baker) Any recommended specialist, Tissot-certified watch repairers in the Brighton area?

Sounds like ideal half-time entertainment: a beheading competition?

Both Everton and Watford still do. Apparently, the tune comes from an old Liverpool folk song. No idea why Watford use it though. Next up, the Liquidator by Chelsea? And the terror-inducing Red Red Robin, down at Charlton.