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I’m not allowed to die until I’ve paid off my Tesco mobile contract

Fair enough, it was a genuine query rather than a statement; will be interesting to see how it plays out.

Will that stand up if they’ve got signed waivers from consenting adults acknowledging that if they get in there’s a chance they’ll die? It’s not like hopping on a ferry where these things are regulated and you can just get a ticket and assume all the safety stuff is taken care of. As soon as...

Well yes. This goes without saying.

I’d be comforted by this if it was my family in there - the idea of them dying instantaneously due to implosion is far more preferable than the alternative.

Too late to submit Lewis Drunk?

NSC’s advertising algorithm is working overtime to come up with creative solutions;

It’s hilarious and I’m willing to die on this hill

If we collectively ignore him he’ll lose his powers.

I’m far more concerned by this…..cocoon?

I often disgust myself with my sweatiness, god knows what my colleagues think.

Goodnight sweet prince. It was obviously coming but still feel a tinge of sadness about it. Consummate professional throughout and leaves on the best of terms with our thanks.

Babs and Nigel, pretending they’ve been run over for attention.

I would err on the side of caution and burn down the entire block, including your own flat.

That was much more of a penalty than the FA Cup final one.

A wound Tarantino would be proud of

Just to confuse the vicar.