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Would Potter be able to get a tune out of him?

I'm a bit concerned about our keeper, another Maty Ryan, doesn't command her box and flaps a bit. Otherwise a great team.

Very subtle - brilliant to those of us under the affluence of incohol...

African or Asian, I 'ear there's a difference.

That was like watching Brighton last season - 99% possession, 400 attempts on goal, unable to break down an 11 ma... er woman defence. The only difference being, unlike us, Sweden actually managed to score in the end.

If it doesn't sell, I expect it will be kept for two seasons!

This is Luna (something to do with Harry Potter apparently), she is about 4 months old, a spaniel-Labrador cross. Looks like the labrador half is winning:

My God sir, have you been in the opium den again? Don't you know the like of us are not worthy of such heights? Next thing you'll know, those frail creatures with breasts and vaginas will be trying to kick balls into the back door. Perish the thought.

I think this England women's' team could beat the men right now. Far more dynamic, aggressive and skillful, even without their headcoach they outclassed and outplayed NI. The limp lettuce leaf that is Southgate could learn something from watching this team.

Does anyone know anything about printing presses? My friend Ben is having problems producing the latest NSC newsletter but it is not working. Yes, he has tried to wind it up and down again!

Get one of these, but you wouldn't want to be sat behind him!

Drum, clackers, Mexican waves, mobile phone lights; surprisingly enjoyable (I can't believe I just wrote that).

My main concern is that all the international players will only be playing at half-speed for the first half of the season in case they get injured.

Yep, Winker Jnr and I are going, she also had the foresight to buy tickets for the final as well. I'd better stay on the right side of her until then - just in case!

Every self-respecting woke snowflake will be rushing for their safe space at this horrific concept. Who is to say that the wearer of the bra is a person who menstruates and therefore has mammary glands that need support. Think of the poor bloke who self-identified as a woman and just needs to...

Was he using knotted handkerchiefs to climb down?

Gerardo Daniel Arteaga Zamora He'll do

No, I've just bought 4 :- 2 STs and 2 guests, they are all in my name and have all been sent to me. It looks like I may be able to download one to my phone, then forward the email to the next person etc. But it may be safer if I just download them all.