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[Misc] Midlife crisis



sydney

sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
18,084
town full of eejits
Iggle Piggle said:
Can relate to all including the drinking too much. It's the one thing I'm still f***ing brilliant at. It's also the one part of my fish nickname which is still accurate.

I was part of a channel relay squad a few years ago. Now, anything more than 20 lengths in a swimming pool is game over.

Enjoy what you can, when you can. We don't know what's round the corner.
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yeah I'm philosophical about it all , I've had 3 near death experiences so I could have been gone years ago , I'm all good generally just your post struck a bit of a chord .....all the best mate , I've tried glucosamine , turmeric for inflammation and pain , the best one is naporex which is bad for your stomach , yeah your right , live life to the full which I have done and intend to continue doing ... :thumbsup:
 




Jackthelad

Jackthelad

Well-known member
Mar 31, 2010
1,203
The word Crisis is thrown around, but from 40 onwards I think you should be asking big questions and evaluating where you are in life. Because 40/50 are a time where most people still have their health and if change is needed then you can realistically change your life for the better.
 


sydney

sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
18,084
town full of eejits
BadFish said:
have you considered knocking the drinking on the head to see what effect it has on your health?
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yes I have considered it , I can go 2 or 3 night a week without drinking , haven't done more than 10 days of for years , there's a lot more to it than drink mate , I had septicaemia in my 30's , 3 months in hospital , it left me with me reactive arthritis in my neck , shoulders and knees , also broke both my legs in my early 20's so I'm a bit of a mess to be honest .....drink is a help for me although it may well be counter productive.✌️
 




The Clamp

The Clamp

Well-known member
Jan 11, 2016
26,720
West is BEST
Happy Exile said:
Age has never bothered me at all, I actually enjoy getting older though for various reasons I don't particularly mark my birthday beyond what I have to do so Mini-Exile doesn't think it's weird when she celebrates hers. I reach 50 in a few weeks though and I'm really, really noticing that the midlife crisis - or as a mate calls it "midlife re-evaluation" is a very real thing for some of us despite me being cynical about it before and not believing it'd happen to me.

I've not gone to get a motorbike or run off with a younger woman or got any regrettable tattoos (yet) but there's definitely an awareness, not morbid though, that I've never had before that time is running down and I've lived most of my life now - a poet, Charles Wright, talks about "one day more is one day less" and I feel that. Not in a depressed way at all, just recognising it and a very strong feeling that I need to do something more with the time left than I have done with the past, say, 10 years (like maybe I should get a motorbike, run off with a younger woman and get some regrettable tattoos).

Also noticing things like I bought a lightbulb yesterday that will almost certainly last longer than I will. I still use the snooker cue I got for my 21st birthday and it's still fine, but I'm treating myself to a nicer one for my 50th and I know on that basis that'll probably outlast me too. Again, it's not morbid, I find that idea of continuity of things reassuring and comforting. I totally understand now why some people I've worked with in the past have reached 50 and older and suddenly started talking about needing to find purpose, or looking for charitable "legacy" work, or thrown everything up in the air and almost started again much more content having rebooted and reshaped their lives.

In the next 3 years Mini Exile will leave home, I'll move house very likely to the one I'll stay in until I can retire at 67 and probably beyond then too, maybe forever, shortly after that it'll be my silver wedding anniversary...there are so many life moments I remember my parents having and them seeming abstract to me that are now becoming my moments.

So wise people of NSC, now I've learned my cynicism of midlife crisis/re-evaluation was misguided, what if anything did you find in your 50s that was common among your peers so I can be ready for it? (And I'll be disappointed if at least some of the answers aren't taking the mickey.)
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I’ve ridden motorbikes, got tattoos, and done silly things all through my adult life. Frankly I’m looking forward to slowing down.

I’m in my late 40’s and I’ve taken up painting, growing veg and practically stopped alcohol totally. More than happy for that trend to continue.
 




Justice

Justice

Dangerous Idiot
Jun 21, 2012
22,163
Born In Shoreham
Weststander said:
If it’s any comfort, at 38 I probably had little equity.

The reason I asked is that I’ve often pondered your quandary for young folk trapped by Brexit in the ultra expensive place to live southern England. Unless they have wealthy parents able to write very large cheques for home deposits, my advice is to settle overseas. In a location where they won’t be a slave to a mortgage part paying for sky high land prices.

I hope things work out for you :smile: .
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Me also made money lost money lost a house made more money I always say you can make more money it’s not the end of the world, health is much more important.
 








DJ NOBO

DJ NOBO

Well-known member
Jul 18, 2004
7,040
Wiltshire
jcdenton08 said:
Thank you very much. I’m just very fortunate my girl is on the property ladder - things are as bad or worse over there in terms of the property market, cost of living and taxes.
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Where do you meet all these rich, generous, available women?
 




Gabbafella

Gabbafella

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
4,998
BBassic said:
This exact thought, as I come up to my 40th birthday, is why I decided to go back to therapy.

Shit is scary. The idea that eventually the majority of us will be little more than a vague memory.
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I think milestone birthdays will always make you reassess what you're doing with your life, could you have done more, become more and what does the future hold etc. honestly I think you could drive yourself insane by having those thoughts running through your mind constantly, especially if you suffer from anxiety or lack of self esteem.

I hope your therapy is helping you through whatever it is and you come though it feeling better.
 




Herr Tubthumper

Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
63,906
The Fatherland
Gabbafella said:
I think milestone birthdays will always make you reassess what you're doing with your life, could you have done more, become more and what does the future hold etc. honestly I think you could drive yourself insane by having those thoughts running through your mind constantly, especially if you suffer from anxiety or lack of self esteem.

I hope your therapy is helping you through whatever it is and you come though it feeling better.
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Whilst it’s fine to reassess , never judge yourself against others. Part of the problem I feel with the person I mentioned in an earlier post is they do this. Improving and developing yourself is good, doing this because you’re envious of others not so good.
 


Thunder Bolt

Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
Aug 18, 2009
68,757
Beside the seaside, beside the sea
Herr Tubthumper said:
Whilst it’s fine to reassess , never judge yourself against others. Part of the problem I feel with the person I mentioned in an earlier post is they do this. Improving and developing yourself is good, doing this because you’re envious of others not so good.
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Comparisons are always depressing.
 






jackanada

jackanada

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2011
3,586
Brighton
Due to the majority of men in my family dying young I had my midlife crisis in my 20s.
Now I'm pushing 50 I thinking I might have an end of life crisis
 


The Clamp

The Clamp

Well-known member
Jan 11, 2016
26,720
West is BEST
Justice said:
Didn’t have you down as a hell raiser 🤣
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Ha! I’m a very different beast now than a few years ago when I was working in film and TV and all the accompanying distractions.

Now I live in seaside village and go to tea rooms with friends instead of pubs.

I still ride a motorcycle. But I pootle around country lanes.

I have a hectic job in the city centre so coming home to peace and quiet is my only middle aged wish 🤣


Good thread.
 




The Clamp

The Clamp

Well-known member
Jan 11, 2016
26,720
West is BEST
In a few years most of us will be dead.

Someone else will be driving your car. Most of your belongings will be either in strangers houses or in landfill.

You will be a footnote. A photograph that is shown to great grandchildren.

Which is fine and as it should be.

Such is life.

Enjoy yourself while you’re here. Whether that’s climbing mountains or collecting stamps.

Keep yourself in good health and age won’t impact you too much.

Keep moving. Keep mobile. 75% of people in care homes are there purely for mobility issues. They can’t get out of bed or a chair by themselves. So put your socks on standing up each day. Movement is life.

Middle age is a lie.
 




Gabbafella

Gabbafella

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
4,998
Herr Tubthumper said:
Whilst it’s fine to reassess , never judge yourself against others. Part of the problem I feel with the person I mentioned in an earlier post is they do this. Improving and developing yourself is good, doing this because you’re envious of others not so good.
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Absolutely, and I also think social media has played a big part in how people judge themselves nowadays too.

Obviously I'd love to have more money to be able to afford a better way of life, more holidays, nicer car and so on, but I'm also extremely grateful for what I have.
 


Paulie Gualtieri

Paulie Gualtieri

Bada Bing
NSC Patron
May 8, 2018
11,269
An interesting thread, thank you for all that have posted.

A bit of a mixed bag for me at the minute. I’m early 40’s and had a pacemaker fitted a fortnight ago after heart failure was detected after a 100 day cough a few years back after my insistence that I have some more tests other than the two courses of antibiotics I was told would be sufficient by the GP.

I pushed for resolution as had Hodgkins Lymphoma in my early twenties so have always been aware of my health and not leaving it to chance.

I’ve plenty to be grateful for , two young kids, a happy marriage, on the ladder and relatively comfortable.

However of late I’ve felt sluggish and not get a great deal of joy from pretty much anything. I suspect it’s the classic mid point where I’m worrying about health and being about around for years to come for the family. That with it being the time of year and stress with the pacemaker and what this means for my longevity. A feeling of what is there to look forward to has appeared but I need to snap out of it

This thread as made me realise I really need to stop putting off getting back in shape and leading a far more healthy lifestyle. I stopped smoking over two years ago, rarely drink but have replaced with processed food and poor eating habits. I am hoping a few weeks of clean eating and increasing excercise (when allowed to post Pacemaker) will galvanise me and increase my energy levels.

It’s clear personal responsibility is a driver here.

Thanks for the different view points, certainly something to work on
 


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