[Misc] Midlife crisis

[jcdenton08]

Where do you meet all these rich, generous, available women?

Being young and handsome back then? And charming?

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Being young and handsome back then? And charming?

Had wondered if the east upper was a hotbed?

 

[DJ NOBO]

Being young and handsome back then? And charming?

And modest

Ps
Good for you

 

[southstandandy]

Can't say I've ever felt that way even though age is catching up with me.

I was lucky enough to retire at 48 so have spent much of the last 10 years doing what myself and Mrs B want to without too much restriction.

I worked myself into the ground for 20+ years doing over 80 hours a week so we could afford to have a comfortable lifestyle and even though there's plenty in life we can't do, I have to say we have enjoyed mid life, especially since the kids moved out.

To me a mid-life crisis is more psychological and I have never been depressed in life even losing parents or friends over the years. I'm very much a half glass full, so even things bother me, they never bother me for more than a few mins - like last weeks result! I just keep moving forward. A positive mind set always helps (although I did predict us to lose today!) - bad fan.

 

[WATFORD zero]

A couple of things i've been told, or tried to live to.

If everybody in the world threw their troubles in the air you would be so happy to catch your own.

The 'meaning in life' is to try and leave the planet a better place than you found it.

I'm now going to be positively Zen for the next hour and 10. After that who knows

Whoops, fat finger, please ignore

And fingers get fatter over the years

 

[BrightonCottager]

While idling scrolling on the Internet last night, the name of a reasonably famous photographer popped up and I found myself looking at the cover of a 2021 magazine featuring a photo of me in my 1980s peak clubbing years, snogging a girl in some hip club or other. Now that did make me feel old, a bit nostalgic, and then thankful that I don't feel I need to have a midlife crisis, go out, get wrecked and chase women anymore. And incredibly thankful for what I have now.

(And @Bry Nylon - I loved your highlighting of my reference to surfing in the context of mid life crises, but in my defence I've been doing it (badly) since my late teens).

 

[Bodian]

While idling scrolling on the Internet last night, the name of a reasonably famous photographer popped up and I found myself looking at the cover of a 2021 magazine featuring a photo of me in my 1980s peak clubbing years, snogging a girl in some hip club or other. Now that did make me feel old, a bit nostalgic, and then thankful that I don't feel I need to have a midlife crisis, go out, get wrecked and chase women anymore. And incredibly thankful for what I have now.

(And @Bry Nylon - I loved your highlighting of my reference to surfing in the context of mid life crises, but in my defence I've been doing it (badly) since my late teens).

 

[sussex_guy2k2]

What a great thread.

I’m coming up to 40, so relative mid-life depending on how your maths is mathing.

I think a lot of the questions many have asked on here, I actually asked a lot in my 20s because of how difficult it was to find decent work. Leaving uni in 2008 led to so many challenges that many who left earlier simply haven’t experienced, so I learned from a young age that a) work isn’t everything, b) you have to appreciate the things you have, and c) you have to do the things you enjoy when you can, as time is limited.

I have a nice house, a fantastic wife, great family and friends, and I have enough money to do many of the things I want. Continuing to focus on this, rather than what could have been is the key.

 

[jcdenton08]

Had wondered if the east upper was a hotbed?

It’s a sausage FEST

 

[DJ NOBO]

Can people aged under 45 please stop complaining about oldness.
It’s not your turf.

 

[brighton_dave]

I got to 50 last year, got diagnosed with severe arthritis (my surgeon, a mate of mine, broke the news with the words "your shoulders are f***ed mate"), knackered my knee and have a favourite chair at the doctor's due to various other ailments.

Getting to 50 sucks balls.

Had severe arthritis since my early 40s. Hips are buggered, and Lumbar spondylosis too. Add CFS into the mix also...
Your body can start to go downhill far earlier, mine started in my late 30s. 45 now, feel so restricted no longer able to run or lift anything significant in the gym. The things I'd always enjoyed. God knows what awaits me in my 50s!
Vision for me is to be able to sell up early, and move somewhere warmer, much better for the bones.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Had severe arthritis since my early 40s. Hips are buggered, and Lumbar spondylosis too. Add CFS into the mix also...
Your body can start to go downhill far earlier, mine started in my late 30s. 45 now, feel so restricted no longer able to run or lift anything significant in the gym. The things I'd always enjoyed. God knows what awaits me in my 50s!
Vision for me is to be able to sell up early, and move somewhere warmer, much better for the bones.

You just have to adjust your expectations on what you can do and try new things in your 50s with that lot. Don't compare yourself to others and enjoy what you can.

I can't see a f***ing thing typing this Be amazed if it makes sense.

 

[brighton_dave]

You just have to adjust your expectations on what you can do and try new things in your 50s with that lot. Don't compare yourself to others and enjoy what you can.

I can't see a f***ing thing typing this Be amazed if it makes sense.

I've started to realise that, stay away from things I have no control over. Play the cards dealt, this always someone with a worse hand.
A little unexpected grandchild in 2023 too, poor lad partially blind, cognitive issues and may never walk, it makes you realise just how lucky you are.
I did take up football coaching last year, which I've found has replaced what I can no longer do, seeing friendships formed, improved confidence in the kids is very rewarding. Definitely fulfils a need to help others, which I can't do behind a desk! Have to manage the energy, but seems to be going well.
Definitely eyeing up moving abroad, and helping the less fortunate, just need to realise I can't change the world, something the wife reminds me of very often, bloody morales...
100 sense...

 

[smudge]

Christ I'm 64 soon.
Went to a funeral 2 weeks ago. One of lads I was onboard with in the RN had decided to go missing Christmas Day, he was found on Dec 30th. One of several that I served with over the years that decided to end it.
About 30 of us travelled up to Evesham for the funeral. I was the oldest. However, I felt so lucky that I'm in decent nick. One of the guys has throat cancer, one of my closest mates from back in the 90's has been sectioned twice, another wears his bag as he has crohns disease. Some others admitted to their mental health struggles.
Certainly made me think I'm blessed.
I don't really feel my age. Keep fit, don't hardly drink these days, but do love a beer when home now & again. Still working, 10 weeks on/off. Love my quality time at home.
Maybe having a young son (8, yes eight) keeps me young. I love every moment.
Not often I dwell on age, but seeing all those guys, made me realise that time is marching on.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I've started to realise that, stay away from things I have no control over. Play the cards dealt, this always someone with a worse hand.
A little unexpected grandchild in 2023 too, poor lad partially blind, cognitive issues and may never walk, it makes you realise just how lucky you are.
I did take up football coaching last year, which I've found has replaced what I can no longer do, seeing friendships formed, improved confidence in the kids is very rewarding. Definitely fulfils a need to help others, which I can't do behind a desk! Have to manage the energy, but seems to be going well.
Definitely eyeing up moving abroad, and helping the less fortunate, just need to realise I can't change the world, something the wife reminds me of very often, bloody morales...
100 sense...

Change the world, one kindness at a time. You’ve the changed the world for that one person, on that day.

 

[dannyboy]

55 in a few months here . My mid life crisis ( it wasn't really a crisis ) meant I emigrated to New Zealand 8 years ago . Life was good but I was generally unhappy ( marriage, missing mates and the Albion i wasn't really sure ) Then my wife suddenly died 5 years ago on the spot in front of me from a stroke . Now being a single dad I had to a 9 year old at the time I had no option to crack on and try to be as positive as possible .

So , 5 years later I'm re married and generally happy but I've really noticed I dwell on the past and all the stupid / bad / embarrassing things I've done as far away as when I was a teen . Some people worry more about the future but for me it's the past .

There's nothing anyone can do about the past as its done . There's no point worrying about the future as you could won the lottery or get hit by a bus .

At the moment I'm reading a bit about living in the present as thats all you have control over. I believe being in the present and enjoying the little things . Family , walks , the sun shining whilst being the best version of yourself I'm hoping is the answer . Maybe then people will enjoy me more and I'll enjoy life more .

Basically I want to be like georginio

 

[sydney]

An interesting thread, thank you for all that have posted.

A bit of a mixed bag for me at the minute. I’m early 40’s and had a pacemaker fitted a fortnight ago after heart failure was detected after a 100 day cough a few years back after my insistence that I have some more tests other than the two courses of antibiotics I was told would be sufficient by the GP.

I pushed for resolution as had Hodgkins Lymphoma in my early twenties so have always been aware of my health and not leaving it to chance.

I’ve plenty to be grateful for , two young kids, a happy marriage, on the ladder and relatively comfortable.

However of late I’ve felt sluggish and not get a great deal of joy from pretty much anything. I suspect it’s the classic mid point where I’m worrying about health and being about around for years to come for the family. That with it being the time of year and stress with the pacemaker and what this means for my longevity. A feeling of what is there to look forward to has appeared but I need to snap out of it

This thread as made me realise I really need to stop putting off getting back in shape and leading a far more healthy lifestyle. I stopped smoking over two years ago, rarely drink but have replaced with processed food and poor eating habits. I am hoping a few weeks of clean eating and increasing excercise (when allowed to post Pacemaker) will galvanise me and increase my energy levels.

It’s clear personal responsibility is a driver here.

Thanks for the different view points, certainly something to work on

mate .....a good friend of mine died 3 weeks ago , he had the flu back in October and a cough for ages , in and out of hospital , these tablets , those tablets , went home from hospital about a month ago and died a week later, heart attack , his wife found him on the kitchen floor .......you did well to persist , we had his funeral on 5/2 , massive turn out for the guy and he got a real good send off but still a huge question mark over the care he was given.

rule of thumb ,if it tastes bloody lovely its probably no good for you.....all the best.

 

[dannyboy]

Just to add Ive just started reading a book . The author is very successful, has a job he loves and is very well paid for . He has a nice house in a nice area . He is happily married with 2 kids he loves . Sounds great ? No . He says he's been miserable most of his life .

I was so happy when I moved to NZ but after a couple of years a sort of flatness or malaise can settle in . I'm hoping some counselling and reading can help with this . It's the old mind working against you sometimes and i feel you need to take control of it more.

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

mate .....a good friend of mine died 3 weeks ago , he had the flu back in October and a cough for ages , in and out of hospital , these tablets , those tablets , went home from hospital about a month ago and died a week later, heart attack , his wife found him on the kitchen floor .......you did well to persist , we had his funeral on 5/2 , massive turn out for the guy and he got a real good send off but still a huge question mark over the care he was given.

rule of thumb ,if it tastes bloody lovely its probably no good for you.....all the best.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Has anyone decided to not have kids and regretted it in later life?