- Apr 19, 2018
- 2,284
Age has never bothered me at all, I actually enjoy getting older though for various reasons I don't particularly mark my birthday beyond what I have to do so Mini-Exile doesn't think it's weird when she celebrates hers. I reach 50 in a few weeks though and I'm really, really noticing that the midlife crisis - or as a mate calls it "midlife re-evaluation" is a very real thing for some of us despite me being cynical about it before and not believing it'd happen to me.
I've not gone to get a motorbike or run off with a younger woman or got any regrettable tattoos (yet) but there's definitely an awareness, not morbid though, that I've never had before that time is running down and I've lived most of my life now - a poet, Charles Wright, talks about "one day more is one day less" and I feel that. Not in a depressed way at all, just recognising it and a very strong feeling that I need to do something more with the time left than I have done with the past, say, 10 years (like maybe I should get a motorbike, run off with a younger woman and get some regrettable tattoos).
Also noticing things like I bought a lightbulb yesterday that will almost certainly last longer than I will. I still use the snooker cue I got for my 21st birthday and it's still fine, but I'm treating myself to a nicer one for my 50th and I know on that basis that'll probably outlast me too. Again, it's not morbid, I find that idea of continuity of things reassuring and comforting. I totally understand now why some people I've worked with in the past have reached 50 and older and suddenly started talking about needing to find purpose, or looking for charitable "legacy" work, or thrown everything up in the air and almost started again much more content having rebooted and reshaped their lives.
In the next 3 years Mini Exile will leave home, I'll move house very likely to the one I'll stay in until I can retire at 67 and probably beyond then too, maybe forever, shortly after that it'll be my silver wedding anniversary...there are so many life moments I remember my parents having and them seeming abstract to me that are now becoming my moments.
So wise people of NSC, now I've learned my cynicism of midlife crisis/re-evaluation was misguided, what if anything did you find in your 50s that was common among your peers so I can be ready for it? (And I'll be disappointed if at least some of the answers aren't taking the mickey.)
I've not gone to get a motorbike or run off with a younger woman or got any regrettable tattoos (yet) but there's definitely an awareness, not morbid though, that I've never had before that time is running down and I've lived most of my life now - a poet, Charles Wright, talks about "one day more is one day less" and I feel that. Not in a depressed way at all, just recognising it and a very strong feeling that I need to do something more with the time left than I have done with the past, say, 10 years (like maybe I should get a motorbike, run off with a younger woman and get some regrettable tattoos).
Also noticing things like I bought a lightbulb yesterday that will almost certainly last longer than I will. I still use the snooker cue I got for my 21st birthday and it's still fine, but I'm treating myself to a nicer one for my 50th and I know on that basis that'll probably outlast me too. Again, it's not morbid, I find that idea of continuity of things reassuring and comforting. I totally understand now why some people I've worked with in the past have reached 50 and older and suddenly started talking about needing to find purpose, or looking for charitable "legacy" work, or thrown everything up in the air and almost started again much more content having rebooted and reshaped their lives.
In the next 3 years Mini Exile will leave home, I'll move house very likely to the one I'll stay in until I can retire at 67 and probably beyond then too, maybe forever, shortly after that it'll be my silver wedding anniversary...there are so many life moments I remember my parents having and them seeming abstract to me that are now becoming my moments.
So wise people of NSC, now I've learned my cynicism of midlife crisis/re-evaluation was misguided, what if anything did you find in your 50s that was common among your peers so I can be ready for it? (And I'll be disappointed if at least some of the answers aren't taking the mickey.)
