[Help] Has anyone here been adopted ?

Seagullsdave said:

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

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Uncle Spielberg said:

I do know when my relationships end it utterly wipes me out to an extent it is not normal outsiders would label me as a wet wipe but I am more understanding of myself now. The one at age 58 who I utterly loved ended it and as a result bar a couple of flings I have decided to never put myself of rejection in that position again

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Seagullsdave said:

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

Click to expand...

Seagullsdave said:

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

Click to expand...

Uncle Spielberg said:

I do know when my relationships end it utterly wipes me out to an extent it is not normal outsiders would label me as a wet wipe but I am more understanding of myself now. The one at age 58 who I utterly loved ended it and as a result bar a couple of flings I have decided to never put myself of rejection in that position again

Click to expand...

Seagullsdave said:

Thank You US. Never posted before as I have a real fear of rejection. I know that I am not as clever or as fluent as most on here. Have followed the Albion since I was a kid. This club as been a mirror of my life. Adopted at birth. Mum could not have children at the time. But a bit later she got pregnant with my sister. A bond between mother and duaghter is strong. Unlucky with her husbands so never had a Father figure so had to sort it out myself. Played Football etc but I used to be the only child that needed a lift back because no one ever came to watch. Growing up I always knew I was never good enough. Tried to hard to be liked and wanted. My first wife was a mistake. But i was desperate to try and find someone to love me. But she was a child in a womans body. Being honest I have no friends as I maybe try to hard to be liked. I have finally found someone but it took a long time before I trusted her enough that it was me she wanted to be with. Our son came along and it took me a long time to understand he would not reject me as a person. Sorry if I am waffling and maybe misunderstanding what this thread is about. I did find someone to help me trace my natural parents though that was a car crash. But she did say to me that most adopted children go through life feeling rejected and alone. The child in the womb has comfort from the voice they hear and when they are born to have that comfort ripped away from them gives them a real sense of rejection and uselessness. This has meant a lot to me and respect to those of you brave enough to post on here without the fear of rejection. You are better people than me. Again sorry for barging in. But sometimes you read something and it strikes a chord. I am waffling and I apolgise. Take care to you all and UTA. And post for better or worse.

Click to expand...

Uncle Spielberg said:

I was and I had/have the most amazing parents who I adore but there is a hole in my heart I have not filled and at 62 I am not sure I ever will. Anyone else the same ?

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Durlston said:

I finally got my ears sorted out last Wednesday (ear wax removal thread) with my last appointment (from four). I built up a very friendly relationship with the lady who did them and decided to be really jolly and jokey with her the whole time, really making an effort to make her laugh. So I had my third appointment just before Christmas and got her a really nice present. She mentioned that she had a six year-old daughter who was incredibly excited about Santa Claus bringing her presents. No mention of a husband or boyfriend but I didn't ask because in all honesty it was none of my bloody business at all. So my last visit - when she called my name and smiled at me for what seemed like forever, my heart skipped a beat. I knew I was falling for her. Throughout I wasn't my usual chirpy self and I explained that I had toothache (the Anadin Extra had numbed my tooth but still felt very flat in myself). When it came to saying goodbye, my eyes filled with tears and I explained I was going to miss seeing her desperately. I left in a hurry and saw she was a bit overcome with me being upset.

Thursday I threw a sickie from work and felt a bit sorry for myself. But then I thought I got a fair way in knowing that she genuinely liked me for being such a ray of light and someone who brightened her day at work hugely. Gareth, humour can be a fantastic way to a girl's heart. New year, new hope!! Keep believing in yourself mate. We'll get there eventually with the ladies!!

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Gabbafella said:

I don't think she knew why she was given up but I got the impression she resented them for it.
I think if I were in her shoes I'd have no interest in tracking them down either.

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Chicken Run said:

one of the somewhat minor challenges i’ve found to being adopted is when i’m in a medical appointment ( thankfully very few in my 55 years) and the proffesional asks the usual “do you have a history of ———- in your family “ naturally the conversation ends pretty quick when i explain i’m adopted!

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Couldn't Be Hyypia said:

And that's the reason I would track them down. She has created a negative story about what happened and is reacting to that. Maybe she's right, but maybe she's wrong and she only ever experienced resentment. That's a shame.

Horse for courses of course.

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AmexRuislip said:

I've recently developed a penchant for scrap metal, caravans and tarmac!
Not sure why

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Chicken Run said:

one of the somewhat minor challenges i’ve found to being adopted is when i’m in a medical appointment ( thankfully very few in my 55 years) and the proffesional asks the usual “do you have a history of ———- in your family “ naturally the conversation ends pretty quick when i explain i’m adopted!

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Brian Munich said:

As an adoptive parent, this thread is an interesting read to see how adopted children view their respective familes. I guess it's due to the demographic of NSC, but most stories seem to be of adoptions in the 60s/70s simply due to the birth mum being unmarried and where no contact with the birth family was encouraged or maintained, so different issues to modern-day adoptions.

These days it's generally a last resort where social services have to intervene when parents can't meet their children's basic needs and where there's no alternative family member that can look after them. We have 3 adopted children, all from the same birth parents, and parenting can be really tough at times just because of how damaged the children are from the early trauma - whether that's from neglect, domestic violence or substance abuse during pregancy. @Gwylan may be able to back this up, but it can be incredibly frustrating when other people see a perfectly healthy looking child but don't quite understand the challenges and think that we're exagerating our child-related stresses. Even in my own family, I think the only person who genuinely gets it is my dad.

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