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[Misc] Christmas and mental health...the annual thread



Weststander

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Aug 25, 2011
70,051
Withdean area
Hotels are never that same really. Not to be a tourist is something totally different in my experience.

Or rent a place.

Offering a suggestion for happier winters, his better half had ruled out buying a place overseas.
 
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Professor Plum

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Jul 27, 2024
815
I’m with you on that a nice peaceful Greek Island would do me, my dream once was to live on a Greek island which I did for a few years about 30 years ago and take tourists around on a boat to the many secret beaches and coves tourists always never see. Do a few properties up in winter to keep busy.
What a life that would have been.
We could organise a whip round?
 




happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
8,229
Eastbourne
Sorry to hear that. An obvious compromise is a couple of longer stay hols in Spanish hotels to break up each winter. My parents did this to solve my Dad’s dislike of these months, I know a lot of Germans and Scandi’s do it too.

You can still go for up to 90 days in 180 and keep your UK residence. I know several people who own places here in the Algarve and travel back and forth fairly regularly. 19°c and sunny today😁

I think I'm going to push for that next winter (mrs H is working in a temporary job until April). Beetle off to Spain or Portugal for Jan/Feb.
 


nicko31

Well-known member
Jan 7, 2010
18,712
Gods country fortnightly
“f***ing hate the winter, the cold, the rain, the relentless poxy drizzle”.

Extended winter stays in sunny climes, end that melancholy.
Hate it too, getting out every day is essential no matter how heavy the cloud cover is.

Always think by mid Jan things are looking up as the afternoons start to draw out and the light just gets a bit better.

Thank god for the Albion
 


Weststander

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Aug 25, 2011
70,051
Withdean area
Hate it too, getting out every day is essential no matter how heavy the cloud cover is.

Always think by mid Jan things are looking up as the afternoons start to draw out and the light just gets a bit better.

Thank god for the Albion

Planning a long walk round Brighton tomorrow. Good for the soul … and fitness.
 




Weststander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 25, 2011
70,051
Withdean area
I think I'm going to push for that next winter (mrs H is working in a temporary job until April). Beetle off to Spain or Portugal for Jan/Feb.

I know a few folk who go for an extended holiday in the autumn, home for Xmas due to a family etc, then another symbolically up to the clocks change.
 










zeetha

Well-known member
Apr 11, 2011
1,376
Evening all. Christmas has been a time I've both looked forward to and dreaded over the years for family reasons though recent years its been more looking forward to. This year though I've felt sad and detached from it which is probably part of the grieving process from two close-to-me deaths of an aunt and friend in the last 3 months, but I've hidden it from the family I've seen as they have enough going on themselves. Hence venting here...

Hope everyone is doing ok, or at least as much as possible at this time
 








Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
57,570
Back in Sussex
Long day. Tough day.

First Christmas since my mum broke her hip, and went off a dementia/Alzheimer's cliff-edge.

She came to my house for the day, and we did our best. I think the day for my mum was as good as it could be for her, which is the main thing, but for me, the whole day just felt sad.

Christmas was always really important for my mum - the family getting together, the present giving and receiving, the food, the rubbish TV and hours upon hours of games, and the laughs that brought.

Mum was here, but she wasn't really here. That version of my mum is now gone. It's difficult to get a smile or any kind of laugh out of her, and I spent most of the day just thinking back to all those Christmases which are now never going to happen again.

I know it's just one day, but it feels so much more than that.
 


Zeberdi

“Vorsprung durch Technik”
NSC Patron
Oct 20, 2022
7,308
Hope everyone’s been okay today, to whatever degree of okay that is? ❤️
Lovely.

Apart from me having a complete mutual meltdown with my ADHD niece (don’t sit two autistic people in the same room for hours on end, one that is loud hyper and the other who is triggered by loud hyper :lol: ) and later my 90 yr little frail Mum marching into the kitchen at one point with her walking stick in one hand, trying to grab my arm with the other to drag me out from the kitchen because I was winding up my sister by being all autisticky 😁 (I wasn’t, she was just being annoying). But lovely to spend the day with Mum and sad to see how much she has declined.

Went in the garden and skinned up with the BiL, so all is good now but I definitely dipped into darkness at several points during the day 👍
 


Zeberdi

“Vorsprung durch Technik”
NSC Patron
Oct 20, 2022
7,308
Evening all. Christmas has been a time I've both looked forward to and dreaded over the years for family reasons though recent years its been more looking forward to. This year though I've felt sad and detached from it which is probably part of the grieving process from two close-to-me deaths of an aunt and friend in the last 3 months, but I've hidden it from the family I've seen as they have enough going on themselves. Hence venting here...

Hope everyone is doing ok, or at least as much as possible at this time
Sorry to hear of your bereavements Zeetha.

You did exactly the right thing to join the thread for a vent - I hope it helps.

That was very unselfish of you to ‘put on a brave face’ for the sake of your family but I hope you find time after Christmas to chat about your sense of loss - if not to your family, then to someone that can be there for you.

Christmas is just as much (if not more) about quietly caring for others as it is about eating and making merry, so in your own way, IMO you really did participate in the Christmas spirit today for want of a better phrase.
 




zeetha

Well-known member
Apr 11, 2011
1,376
Christmas is just as much (if not more) about quietly caring for others as it is about eating and making merry, so in your own way, IMO you really did participate in the Christmas spirit today for want of a better phrase.

Thanks Zeberdi for taking the time to reply to me, and for your kind words - it does all help.

Sorry to see that you had some tough moments today too, but glad all is good now.
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,675
Playing snooker
Since I’ve been living by myself these last few years, Christmas for me is a time to take stock and have a bit of re-set.

Happily, my two kids don’t live too far way and whilst we spend a few hours together on Christmas morning, which for me is joyous, once they’ve gone back to their mum I pretty much check out of the whole thing. So by midday today I’d pulled on my boots and headed for a long, long walk across the fields and through woods and little villages until dusk.

There’s something about walking in the country in the depths of midwinter that I find good for the soul - something stripped-back and uncluttered. The bare trees and hedgerows and ploughed fields provide the perfect backdrop for thinking about everything or thinking about nothing, depending on how you feel.

Every now and then, as I made my way through seemingly lifeless villages, I’d pass close to the windows of a house or a cottage and catch the sounds of a family Christmas lunch in full swing just the other side of the glass. I’ll admit, that stung a bit; but I’ve enjoyed lots of those in the past and I guess life moves on for all of us. (Plus, as I walked by I smiled to myself as I envisaged the inevitable family rows that would be breaking out later and that by Boxing Day they’d all be sick of the sight of each other).

Not sure why I wrote all this. But whatever sort of Christmas Day you’ve had, nothing stays the same forever - so cherish the happy times but don’t forget to live in the moment too, because right now is what matters.

A peaceful Christmas to one and all.
 
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