Bell Cheeses at work

Barham's tash said:

2. In a second meeting where I brought up a high risk issue surrounding a simple but poorly executed process by our client facing staff and the knock on impact to the wider business if they kept ARSING it up he agreed with me on the severity of the situation, the decline in quality from the front office and applauded my control framework and MI to mitigate the risk. He then suggested a 'competition' where the biggest miscreant would be FORCED to buy everyone in the senior management team coffee as recompense for not doing their job properly.

Click to expand...

South Stand Bonfire said:

This is sort of bell cheesey. A month ago our company (c70 people in total) decided to add a benefit in that everyone after 1 Jan, everyone can take an extra day off on their birthday. We are a non corporate organisation, so if anyone has a query they should just ask their supervisor. Apparently our MD received dozens of emails along the lines of:-

What if my birthday is at a weekend
What if my birthday is on a bank holiday
What if my birthday is on Feb 29th
What if I am on holiday on my birthday ( why take holiday on an extra day off )
What if a client insists on a meeting on my birthday
What if I don’t want to take a day off on my birthday

As he said in his closing Xmas address at our lunch during the week, he just wanted to do something nice and wish he hadn’t bothered from all the hassle it generated.

Click to expand...

South Stand Bonfire said:

What if my birthday is at a weekend
What if my birthday is on a bank holiday
What if my birthday is on Feb 29th
What if I am on holiday on my birthday ( why take holiday on an extra day off )
What if a client insists on a meeting on my birthday
What if I don’t want to take a day off on my birthday

Click to expand...

The Optimist said:

Once you’ve collected your thoughts please do share. We need fresh bell cheeses to keep this thread going.

Click to expand...

South Stand Bonfire said:

Remember, the best way to finish a rant is to begin it! Fire away…..

Click to expand...

• She grazes. Constantly. There’s nothing quite as fun as having to sit across from someone and listen to them eat an entire bag of baby carrots or tomatoes or nuts or cucumbers etc in between big stinking main meals.
• She talks. Constantly. She must have a second mouth because whilst chomping through a rabbits annual diet every day she still manages to ramble inane shite without pause. She’ll mention the same thing numerous times with no reply. She’ll tell you who was on the phone after you’ve just spoke to them on the phone. It’s never ending. I didn’t care about your cars insurance the first time you mentioned it today. The fourth time won’t magically be interesting.
• She can not take the blame. She’s new, she’s going to make mistakes but her inability to just admit she made an error is insane. A few weeks ago she tried to pass the blame on to me when nobody had done anything wrong. I get wanting to make a good impression but it’s absurd. Which is made worse by…
• She constantly makes stupid mistakes. She worked in care before she worked here and it genuinely worries me that she was in charge of looking after people. Leaving parts of addresses off orders is the main one but there’s a multitude of small errors she’s making but because it’s never her fault she isn’t learning.

Whitechapel said:

This might be a long one…

Right so to preface this, I work for a pretty small company. If you ignore the managing director then there’s one guy in the warehouse, three in the office (she brought it back up to three after someone left) and then I split my time between the two helping wherever I’m needed. So whilst I’m not always in the office with her, it’s a small enough company that annoyances are hard to avoid.


She’s only been here a couple of months, but she’s already managed to exhibit almost every annoying co-worker trope.

• She grazes. Constantly. There’s nothing quite as fun as having to sit across from someone and listen to them eat an entire bag of baby carrots or tomatoes or nuts or cucumbers etc in between big stinking main meals.
• She talks. Constantly. She must have a second mouth because whilst chomping through a rabbits annual diet every day she still manages to ramble inane shite without pause. She’ll mention the same thing numerous times with no reply. She’ll tell you who was on the phone after you’ve just spoke to them on the phone. It’s never ending. I didn’t care about your cars insurance the first time you mentioned it today. The fourth time won’t magically be interesting.
• She can not take the blame. She’s new, she’s going to make mistakes but her inability to just admit she made an error is insane. A few weeks ago she tried to pass the blame on to me when nobody had done anything wrong. I get wanting to make a good impression but it’s absurd. Which is made worse by…
• She constantly makes stupid mistakes. She worked in care before she worked here and it genuinely worries me that she was in charge of looking after people. Leaving parts of addresses off orders is the main one but there’s a multitude of small errors she’s making but because it’s never her fault she isn’t learning.

Now the last, and worst issue isn’t entirely her fault but the lad in the warehouse seems to have a crush on her and it’s made him weird. Really weird. I’ve always got on with him well enough but honestly they’re driving me to drink between them.

He’ll make any excuse to head in to the office now and just linger around. He’s started reversing out of the office door when he goes back to the warehouse so… he can look at her for longer I guess? He’s started doing wrestling moves to the cardboard when he puts it in the recycling bin. When he speaks to her in front of other people it’s like listening to a 14 year old flirt, which would be fine if he wasn’t in his mid 30s (she’s 20/21 so there’s that too).

Him being weird would be bad enough but as he’s the only other person there who loves inane boring small talk she’s latched on to him and we’re not sure if it’s because there’s the worlds most annoying workplace romance brewing or if she just wants someone to talk to but she’s now vanishing off to speak to him multiple times a day.

She clearly texts/zooms him before she goes to make a coffee or goes to the toilet so the can meet for a chat by the kitchen/bathroom. I’ve overheard some of the chats and honestly half the time it’s about hair dye or what vegetables work best in the microwave. It’s just drivel.

It all came to boiling point this week though. The MD was out of the office for most of the day on Wednesday and the office manager had to go home due to family reasons. That left 4 of us at work and she took full advantage of the bosses not being there. No work done before 9:30 as she was having a chat followed by breakfast. Vanished for a chat for 20 minutes at 9:50. Vanished again at 10:10. At 12 she just said she was going to go help the bloke in the warehouse which she knows would have been rejected if the managers were there and f*cked off for an hour. I could maybe tolerate that because I wanted an easy day too but when the MD got back towards the end of the day she rushed back to the office to look busy, whacked an order through on the system when she should know it was too late, which f***ed up the payments I’d taken for the day and got me shouted at by the accountant because the figures were wrong.

I wrote most of this out on Wednesday evening, on Thursday the office manager was back (who’s sick and tired of her already too) and asked how it went. Me and the other bloke explained (she’d made mistakes on something he’d asked her to do too) and he basically told us that she’d had our pants down a bit and we should have put our foot down which is true. He said we should pull her to one side at some point that day and explain that we both got shouted at by him for how she’d acted the day before.

Anyway, the other guy had what he describes as a “quiet, polite word” with her and 5 minutes later she said she felt sick and hadn’t been back since which is probably for best because my word with her would have neither been quiet nor polite.

Oh and as a little bonus situation, she didn’t come to our Christmas work drinks. However me and the warehouse bloke got speaking to two random lads who knew the girl and told us she’s got an OnlyFans. Warehouse bloke went home shortly after (heartbroken or going for a wank? Who knows!). So now every time she f*cks me off I have to resist the urge to tell her she should stick to selling photos of her fanny instead. Which isn’t really fair on me.


God it feels good to get that off my chest.

Click to expand...

HillBarnTillIDie said:

Out of curiosity ….. what is the best vegetable to microwave?

Click to expand...

Peacehaven Wild Kids said:

Tough shit
Tough shit
Tough shit
Tough shit
Tell ‘em to f*** off
Tough shit



Sorted.

Click to expand...

Whitechapel said:

This might be a long one…

Right so to preface this, I work for a pretty small company. If you ignore the managing director then there’s one guy in the warehouse, three in the office (she brought it back up to three after someone left) and then I split my time between the two helping wherever I’m needed. So whilst I’m not always in the office with her, it’s a small enough company that annoyances are hard to avoid.


She’s only been here a couple of months, but she’s already managed to exhibit almost every annoying co-worker trope.

• She grazes. Constantly. There’s nothing quite as fun as having to sit across from someone and listen to them eat an entire bag of baby carrots or tomatoes or nuts or cucumbers etc in between big stinking main meals.
• She talks. Constantly. She must have a second mouth because whilst chomping through a rabbits annual diet every day she still manages to ramble inane shite without pause. She’ll mention the same thing numerous times with no reply. She’ll tell you who was on the phone after you’ve just spoke to them on the phone. It’s never ending. I didn’t care about your cars insurance the first time you mentioned it today. The fourth time won’t magically be interesting.
• She can not take the blame. She’s new, she’s going to make mistakes but her inability to just admit she made an error is insane. A few weeks ago she tried to pass the blame on to me when nobody had done anything wrong. I get wanting to make a good impression but it’s absurd. Which is made worse by…
• She constantly makes stupid mistakes. She worked in care before she worked here and it genuinely worries me that she was in charge of looking after people. Leaving parts of addresses off orders is the main one but there’s a multitude of small errors she’s making but because it’s never her fault she isn’t learning.

Now the last, and worst issue isn’t entirely her fault but the lad in the warehouse seems to have a crush on her and it’s made him weird. Really weird. I’ve always got on with him well enough but honestly they’re driving me to drink between them.

He’ll make any excuse to head in to the office now and just linger around. He’s started reversing out of the office door when he goes back to the warehouse so… he can look at her for longer I guess? He’s started doing wrestling moves to the cardboard when he puts it in the recycling bin. When he speaks to her in front of other people it’s like listening to a 14 year old flirt, which would be fine if he wasn’t in his mid 30s (she’s 20/21 so there’s that too).

Him being weird would be bad enough but as he’s the only other person there who loves inane boring small talk she’s latched on to him and we’re not sure if it’s because there’s the worlds most annoying workplace romance brewing or if she just wants someone to talk to but she’s now vanishing off to speak to him multiple times a day.

She clearly texts/zooms him before she goes to make a coffee or goes to the toilet so the can meet for a chat by the kitchen/bathroom. I’ve overheard some of the chats and honestly half the time it’s about hair dye or what vegetables work best in the microwave. It’s just drivel.

It all came to boiling point this week though. The MD was out of the office for most of the day on Wednesday and the office manager had to go home due to family reasons. That left 4 of us at work and she took full advantage of the bosses not being there. No work done before 9:30 as she was having a chat followed by breakfast. Vanished for a chat for 20 minutes at 9:50. Vanished again at 10:10. At 12 she just said she was going to go help the bloke in the warehouse which she knows would have been rejected if the managers were there and f*cked off for an hour. I could maybe tolerate that because I wanted an easy day too but when the MD got back towards the end of the day she rushed back to the office to look busy, whacked an order through on the system when she should know it was too late, which f***ed up the payments I’d taken for the day and got me shouted at by the accountant because the figures were wrong.

I wrote most of this out on Wednesday evening, on Thursday the office manager was back (who’s sick and tired of her already too) and asked how it went. Me and the other bloke explained (she’d made mistakes on something he’d asked her to do too) and he basically told us that she’d had our pants down a bit and we should have put our foot down which is true. He said we should pull her to one side at some point that day and explain that we both got shouted at by him for how she’d acted the day before.

Anyway, the other guy had what he describes as a “quiet, polite word” with her and 5 minutes later she said she felt sick and hadn’t been back since which is probably for best because my word with her would have neither been quiet nor polite.

Oh and as a little bonus situation, she didn’t come to our Christmas work drinks. However me and the warehouse bloke got speaking to two random lads who knew the girl and told us she’s got an OnlyFans. Warehouse bloke went home shortly after (heartbroken or going for a wank? Who knows!). So now every time she f*cks me off I have to resist the urge to tell her she should stick to selling photos of her fanny instead. Which isn’t really fair on me.


God it feels good to get that off my chest.

Click to expand...

Whitechapel said:

This might be a long one…

Right so to preface this, I work for a pretty small company. If you ignore the managing director then there’s one guy in the warehouse, three in the office (she brought it back up to three after someone left) and then I split my time between the two helping wherever I’m needed. So whilst I’m not always in the office with her, it’s a small enough company that annoyances are hard to avoid.


She’s only been here a couple of months, but she’s already managed to exhibit almost every annoying co-worker trope.

• She grazes. Constantly. There’s nothing quite as fun as having to sit across from someone and listen to them eat an entire bag of baby carrots or tomatoes or nuts or cucumbers etc in between big stinking main meals.
• She talks. Constantly. She must have a second mouth because whilst chomping through a rabbits annual diet every day she still manages to ramble inane shite without pause. She’ll mention the same thing numerous times with no reply. She’ll tell you who was on the phone after you’ve just spoke to them on the phone. It’s never ending. I didn’t care about your cars insurance the first time you mentioned it today. The fourth time won’t magically be interesting.
• She can not take the blame. She’s new, she’s going to make mistakes but her inability to just admit she made an error is insane. A few weeks ago she tried to pass the blame on to me when nobody had done anything wrong. I get wanting to make a good impression but it’s absurd. Which is made worse by…
• She constantly makes stupid mistakes. She worked in care before she worked here and it genuinely worries me that she was in charge of looking after people. Leaving parts of addresses off orders is the main one but there’s a multitude of small errors she’s making but because it’s never her fault she isn’t learning.

Now the last, and worst issue isn’t entirely her fault but the lad in the warehouse seems to have a crush on her and it’s made him weird. Really weird. I’ve always got on with him well enough but honestly they’re driving me to drink between them.

He’ll make any excuse to head in to the office now and just linger around. He’s started reversing out of the office door when he goes back to the warehouse so… he can look at her for longer I guess? He’s started doing wrestling moves to the cardboard when he puts it in the recycling bin. When he speaks to her in front of other people it’s like listening to a 14 year old flirt, which would be fine if he wasn’t in his mid 30s (she’s 20/21 so there’s that too).

Him being weird would be bad enough but as he’s the only other person there who loves inane boring small talk she’s latched on to him and we’re not sure if it’s because there’s the worlds most annoying workplace romance brewing or if she just wants someone to talk to but she’s now vanishing off to speak to him multiple times a day.

She clearly texts/zooms him before she goes to make a coffee or goes to the toilet so the can meet for a chat by the kitchen/bathroom. I’ve overheard some of the chats and honestly half the time it’s about hair dye or what vegetables work best in the microwave. It’s just drivel.

It all came to boiling point this week though. The MD was out of the office for most of the day on Wednesday and the office manager had to go home due to family reasons. That left 4 of us at work and she took full advantage of the bosses not being there. No work done before 9:30 as she was having a chat followed by breakfast. Vanished for a chat for 20 minutes at 9:50. Vanished again at 10:10. At 12 she just said she was going to go help the bloke in the warehouse which she knows would have been rejected if the managers were there and f*cked off for an hour. I could maybe tolerate that because I wanted an easy day too but when the MD got back towards the end of the day she rushed back to the office to look busy, whacked an order through on the system when she should know it was too late, which f***ed up the payments I’d taken for the day and got me shouted at by the accountant because the figures were wrong.

I wrote most of this out on Wednesday evening, on Thursday the office manager was back (who’s sick and tired of her already too) and asked how it went. Me and the other bloke explained (she’d made mistakes on something he’d asked her to do too) and he basically told us that she’d had our pants down a bit and we should have put our foot down which is true. He said we should pull her to one side at some point that day and explain that we both got shouted at by him for how she’d acted the day before.

Anyway, the other guy had what he describes as a “quiet, polite word” with her and 5 minutes later she said she felt sick and hadn’t been back since which is probably for best because my word with her would have neither been quiet nor polite.

Oh and as a little bonus situation, she didn’t come to our Christmas work drinks. However me and the warehouse bloke got speaking to two random lads who knew the girl and told us she’s got an OnlyFans. Warehouse bloke went home shortly after (heartbroken or going for a wank? Who knows!). So now every time she f*cks me off I have to resist the urge to tell her she should stick to selling photos of her fanny instead. Which isn’t really fair on me.


God it feels good to get that off my chest.

Click to expand...

BevBHA said:

We got a new boss in August this year. He’s an absolute micromanaging helmet with 0 people skills. Everyone thinks he’s a tool. To put into context he’s had 2 grievances against him since August already.

Works Christmas do was a sit down meal out. Some brainiac decided secret Santa would be a good idea, it was never going to end well, as half my team wouldn’t know a sense of humour if it smacked them in the face.

I opened my gift, thanks god, someone got me something funny. A mug that says ‘don’t be a C U next Tuesday’ on it.

I’d had a few glasses of Champers so abit of courage in me, don’t think the new boss appreciated me standing up and saying ‘I think I’ve got your gift by mistake’

He left straight after the meal, barely saying bye and didn’t join us for a drink after. A win is a win!

Click to expand...

Tom Hark Preston Park said:

But apart from that, fine?

Click to expand...

Whitechapel said:

No, actually. I didn’t even mention that she offen talks to me in a voice that is clearly her “talking to an OAP who has just shat themselves because they’re senile” voice which really winds me up too.

Still more I could say too.

Click to expand...

Whitechapel said:

I won’t go in to how the subject of my last post managed to f*ck up so much that the M.D described last week as “the worst week he’s had since stating the company 15 years ago” even though I had to fix all her f*ck ups.

I won’t talk about how I saw her and the warehouse guy who’s weird around her walk along hand in hand whilst I was sat in the Rose & Crown a couple of weekends ago. Or how every single member of staff has walked in on them standing basically on top of each only for them to scurry away the second they hear you coming.

I won’t even go in to the fact our boss checks her emails and she’d emailed one of our stockists “at least you’re not too out of pocket ” after a quiet day when he’s a f*cking stockist who drop ships so the more we charge him the more he’s made that day.

I won’t go in to any of those because the anger and frustration they’ve caused me have probably already given me a stroke. But I also won’t bring them up fully because I want to spread so joy in this thread and there was something that made me cry with laughter earlier.

Earlier today I had to look through a pile of paper that she’d put to one side to be shredded to find some information she’d accidentally thrown away. About 50% of this pile of papers was work stuff and the other 50% were meal preps, minute by minute day plans (6am wake up. 6:02 turn off alarm 6:10 open blinds), gym schedules and other similar bollocks.

One of those scraps caught my eye and it was a list of reasons why last Monday (a day she f***ed up massively) was a bad day.

Along with all the mistakes she’d made was one further reason. Right at the bottom of the list…

Spoiler: I bet you can’t guess it.

Didn’t get to eat my eggs

All the pain and anguish is worth it just to read that. It’s f*cking amazing. Truly the biggest tragedy to befall humanity since Hindenburg.

The world’s going to shit, we’re constantly teetering on WW3 & Brighton’s injury list never clears but it all pails in comparison to when you can’t eat your eggs one day. F*ck me.

Click to expand...

marlowe said:

Perhaps it's an eating your own placenta type thing she's got going on, so not being able to eat her eggs has more serious ramifications as she'll have to wait a whole month before they're on the menu again.

Click to expand...