[Humour] Live Action Dad Jokes.

Pevenseagull · Thursday at 11:10 AM

They had a special game menu in my local last month.

I ordered the rabbit dish for £15, my mate ordered the venison for £20 and asked why I hadn't gone for that.

Sometimes they write themselves.

Chicken Run · Thursday at 11:19 AM

When i was younger i loved kissing girls who closed their eyes, the problems start when they open them and realise im in their bed

nevergoagain · Thursday at 11:25 AM

What's blue and fucks grannies ?

Me in my lucky blue jumper.

5Ways Gull · Thursday at 1:59 PM

Man goes into the Doctors with a frog growing out of his head. "How can I help you?" says the doctor. "Well it all started with this pimple on my bum" says the frog.

Gazwag · Thursday at 3:53 PM

Pevenseagull said:
They had a special game menu in my local last month.

I ordered the rabbit dish for £15, my mate ordered the venison for £20 and asked why I hadn't gone for that.

Sometimes they write themselves.

So I said to this bird in the pub "Are you game?"

She said "yes"

So I shot her

thedonkeycentrehalf · Thursday at 3:56 PM

I feel the original 'live action Dad Jokes' part of this thread has been lost to those who just want to share general jokes but aren't brave enough to risk putting them forward as Joke Du Jour fodder.

smillie's garden · Thursday at 4:09 PM

Pevenseagull said:
They had a special game menu in my local last month.

I ordered the rabbit dish for £15, my mate ordered the venison for £20 and asked why I hadn't gone for that.

Sometimes they write themselves.

If I was your mate I would have retorted “bloody elk!”

Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee · Thursday at 4:29 PM

Years ago, I went to the doctor about abdominal pain (turns out it was an ulcer)
Anyway, he asked if I had any problem passing water.
I replied ' I had a dizzy spell going over the tower bridge once'

Coldeanseagull · Thursday at 4:33 PM

Jack Straw said:
I was pleased with this;
A mate of mine was explaining to me and a small group of friends that he named his dog Polly, as it was a cross between a Poodle and a Collie.
I replied, "Good job it isn't a cross between a Shih Tzu and a Corgi!"

Tzugi?

Coldeanseagull · Thursday at 4:35 PM

Had to have blood drawn down the doctors last week. Nurse called my name and said
"you're here for a blood test"?
I replied I'd been up all night studying....she looked blankly at me :facepalm:

Lord Charles · Thursday at 4:53 PM

It's really bugging me, what was the name of that Austrian F1 driver who won loads of grand prix in the seventies.... Niki something?

tomfitzz · Thursday at 4:55 PM

Was painting at work a couple years back and a colleague at the time (ex pilot) said he'd love to have a go at decorating.

Told him he'd be crap at doing the walls but brilliant on the landing

Brovion · Thursday at 5:18 PM

Lord Charles said:
It's really bugging me, what was the name of that Austrian F1 driver who won loads of grand prix in the seventies.... Niki something?

*Sets him up*

Lauda?

Lord Charles · Thursday at 5:22 PM

Brovion said:
*Sets him up*

Lauda?

WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT AUSTRIAN F1 DRIVER WHO WON LOADS OF GRAND PRIX IN THE SEVENTIES?

Ⓩ-Ⓐ-Ⓜ-Ⓞ-Ⓡ-Ⓐ · Thursday at 5:23 PM

Coldeanseagull said:
Tzugi?

A sh¡t orgy

Cheeky Monkey · Thursday at 5:30 PM

Tom Hark Preston Park said:
At the bus stop in London Road last week, a grey haired old man asked me in a frail voice: 'Excuse me sir, is it Summer yet?'. Poor old man I thought. 'Sorry mate, you've missed it, it's November' says I. He looked crestfallen. 'Oh I'll just have to wait til next Summer then' he said sadly. 'Why? What for?' I asked. 'A bleedin bus' he said. The whole queue, who had been listening in, fell about laughing

Read this three times and still don't get it :amex:

Brovion · Thursday at 5:34 PM

Lord Charles said:
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT AUSTRIAN F1 DRIVER WHO WON LOADS OF GRAND PRIX IN THE SEVENTIES?

Boom -Tish! :lolol:

(Or I could say "No need to shout, I heard you the first time, it was Nikki Lauda!")

robinsonsgrin · Thursday at 5:37 PM

My fav that had me in hysterics for about 20 mins... I dropped my water bottle on the floor.. "oops, I can't hold my drink...".... had to be there - or not as it was in my bedroom...

5Ways Gull · Thursday at 5:43 PM

Jack Straw said:
I was pleased with this;
A mate of mine was explaining to me and a small group of friends that he named his dog Polly, as it was a cross between a Poodle and a Collie.
I replied, "Good job it isn't a cross between a Shih Tzu and a Corgi!"

Good job it wasn't a cross between a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu

Jack Straw · Thursday at 7:34 PM

5Ways Gull said:
Good job it wasn't a cross between a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu

You're having me on?!

Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

[Humour] Live Action Dad Jokes.

meh

Member Since Jul 2003

Well-known member

È quello che è

5 millionth post poster

Moved back to wear the gloves (again)

Am I evil?

You can't change fighters

Opinionated

Opinionated

Member

Member

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.

Member

Hove / Παρος

Well-known member

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.

Well-known member

È quello che è

I look nothing like him!

Share this page