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[Humour] Live Action Dad Jokes.



Pevenseagull

Pevenseagull

meh
Jul 20, 2003
20,666
They had a special game menu in my local last month.

I ordered the rabbit dish for £15, my mate ordered the venison for £20 and asked why I hadn't gone for that.

Sometimes they write themselves.
 








5

5Ways Gull

È quello che è
Feb 2, 2009
1,176
Fiveways, Brighton
Man goes into the Doctors with a frog growing out of his head. "How can I help you?" says the doctor. "Well it all started with this pimple on my bum" says the frog.
 


Gazwag

Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,729
Bexhill-on-Sea
Pevenseagull said:
They had a special game menu in my local last month.

I ordered the rabbit dish for £15, my mate ordered the venison for £20 and asked why I hadn't gone for that.

Sometimes they write themselves.
Click to expand...
So I said to this bird in the pub "Are you game?"

She said "yes"

So I shot her
 






smillie's garden

smillie's garden

Am I evil?
Aug 11, 2003
2,731
Pevenseagull said:
They had a special game menu in my local last month.

I ordered the rabbit dish for £15, my mate ordered the venison for £20 and asked why I hadn't gone for that.

Sometimes they write themselves.
Click to expand...
If I was your mate I would have retorted “bloody elk!”
 


Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee

Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee

You can't change fighters
NSC Patron
Jul 25, 2005
10,911
on a pig farm
Years ago, I went to the doctor about abdominal pain (turns out it was an ulcer)
Anyway, he asked if I had any problem passing water.
I replied ' I had a dizzy spell going over the tower bridge once'
 












T

tomfitzz

Member
Sep 26, 2022
25
Was painting at work a couple years back and a colleague at the time (ex pilot) said he'd love to have a go at decorating.

Told him he'd be crap at doing the walls but brilliant on the landing
 










C

Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,865
Tom Hark Preston Park said:
At the bus stop in London Road last week, a grey haired old man asked me in a frail voice: 'Excuse me sir, is it Summer yet?'. Poor old man I thought. 'Sorry mate, you've missed it, it's November' says I. He looked crestfallen. 'Oh I'll just have to wait til next Summer then' he said sadly. 'Why? What for?' I asked. 'A bleedin bus' he said. The whole queue, who had been listening in, fell about laughing :lol:
Click to expand...
Read this three times and still don't get it :amex: :facepalm:
 


B

Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,863
Lord Charles said:
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT AUSTRIAN F1 DRIVER WHO WON LOADS OF GRAND PRIX IN THE SEVENTIES? :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
Click to expand...
Boom -Tish! :lolol:

(Or I could say "No need to shout, I heard you the first time, it was Nikki Lauda!")
 








Jack Straw

Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
7,106
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!


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