Write your own Angie Rowland complaint

[colinpants]

Dear Sir,

As a Brighton resident and council tax payer i am dismayed to find that BT have installed telephone comunication devices into thier telephone booths through out the Brighton & Hove district.

Does this tu'penny ha'penny telecomunication company not realise that this will mearly encourage people to use these infernal devices.

I was disgusted to find on a recent shopping in Queens Road that when i went to take a piss in my usual BT kiosk it was occupied by none other than Dick Knight using the telephone.

Does he not know the price of tenna lady.

Yours incontinently

Angela Rowland

(Freshfield Phyciatric unit)

 

[Biscuit]

Good God.

What do I pay my council tax for exactly? Not ONE but THREE signs were erected along side the A259 coastroad advertising a 'table top community sale' for supposed 'good causes'. Areas of beauty should not be desicrated in the name of world dominating conglomerate giants in their evil twisted cultural pursut of 'a better way of life'. Discusting.

As mentioned in my leters dating (Jan 1,3,4,5,6 to April 14,20th) I have deceided to withdraw a half'penny tunnpence of my council tax.

 

[Beeercan]

Shall we rename this the Biscuit thread

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Dear Sir,
I am writing in English as I am unable to write in French. It's not that I'm against English I just don't remember being asked if I wanted it as my native tongue.
Yours,
Angela Rowland.

 

[mona]

Dear Sir

I resent travelling on buses named after tuppenny ha'penny ne'er do wells who have some tenuous link with Brighton. I think all the buses should be named after famous residents like myself or John Catt.

What right have the council to name a bus after Max Miller who told obscene jokes or Sake Dean Mohammed who ran a bath-house, hardly enlightening occupations. The residents should surely have the final say when it comes to naming our buses.

Yours fitfully
Angela Rowland
High Street
Brighton

 

[Simster]

Sir,

Why oh why oh why do the council and do gooders insist on pouring good money after bad in patching up the "city"'s roads? Or am I the only one in this wretched place who actually notices the wasteland that is "the sea"?

It has been an eyesore every since I've lived here and NOT ONCE have the council attempted to build on it and regenerate the area, despite it being a total eyesore. Even the frequent presence of over 30,000 protestors every other summer's evening at the edge of this carbuncle seems to have had no affect on the people who make decisions.

Perhaps if the council had enough sense to turn it into a car park, we wouldn't be talking about hare brained schemes such as building a stadium in the middle of the most beautiful vista in Sussex. There is plenty of space in the "sea" district of Brighton, yet we're expected to foot the bill to regenerate perfectly reasonable areas on the city.

Please please please, sort it out.

Yours spazmodically,
A Rowland
High Street
Brighton

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

" I am writing to express my displeasure at the state of George Street shopping complex. I was walking down George Street last Saturday afternoon and I most displeased at the amount of pubs, wine bars and places of sinful pursuits. What is worse is that these awful places have spread onto the street. I had to actually walk 5 yards out of way near the bottom to avoid all the people sitting down, drinking and having fun and laughing. There are literally 4 drinking establishments and even worse a bookmakers all within 20 yards of each other.

I would like the council to close down these establishments in order for a library and tea rooms to be put in their place. It is most unseemly that this sort of thing goes on in Hove ".

A.Rowland
Southwick

 

[hans kraay fan club]

The state of Britain's schools

Dear Sirs

Imagine my surprise when informed that the 17 year old daughter of my rather common neighbours had 'passed' her exams. On further conversation it became apparent that she actually only scored 86% in said exams, meaning by my reckoning that she got most of the questions wrong.

I know I speak for the people of Britain when I say that we do not want common people getting ideas above their station. This particular common little wretch is even talking of going to a so-called university where no doubt she will indulge in drug taking and promiscuity.

I know I speak for the people of Europe when I say that we should get a vote on who is suitable for further education. I must stress at this point that I am in no way racist, and it is not because she is a negro that I am forced to take this stance.

I for one will be deducting monies from my council tax, until the matter is resolved to my satisfaction.

Yours

A. Rowland
Brighton

 

[Pevenseagull]

Sir

May I suggest that you review the heading for your 'massage' small ads.

The 'massage' that I obtained via your advertiser has done nothing for my sciatica and I have developed a rather unpleasant yeast infection.

Yours

A Rowland

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Dear Sirs

What is the GPO coming to? This morning my mail was delivered by a dark chap. I must hasten to add that I am in no way a racist, ill-informed bigot, with a high regard for my own opinions, and have nothing whatsoever against darkies, but must they really be employed in such a public manner?

My copy of 'Serial Complainers Weekly' had a dirty mark on the front cover. Do they bathe, these dark folk?

I for one will only be attaching half of a stamp to each of my letters of complaint until there is a nice white chap back on my post round.

Yours

A. Rowland
Brighton

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Dear Sirs

I am not full of my own self-importance or anything like that, but think it disgraceful that this thread of piss-takes about me is starting to slip down the page. I demand that my thread become a sticky.

Yours vainly

A.Rowland
Brighton

 

[mona]

I suspect that the Arsegas would print about 30% of these letters if they were sent.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I suspect that the Arsegas would print about 30% of these letters if they were sent.

I am SO tempted to try. I particularly like yours about buses, Simster's re. the Sea, and if I might be so bold, I'd add my own 'Britain's schools' effort.

 

[Biscuit]

Dear Argus.

Yesterday I was walking through Hove and I saw a dog. On a Lead. What do we pay our taxes for? Animals should not be mistreated this way.

Yours.

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Dear Sir,
Why do men have penis's and I don't ? I have to put up with a t'upenny h'apenny furry crevice type arangement. It's just not fair, I wasn't consulted and I don't pay all my tax to the EEC to be treated like this.
Yours, again,
A Rowland

 

[Tooting Gull]

Sir,

I was watching Trisha the other day, and wondered why only disfunctional social misfits get on TV as her guests. Why can't there be a programme with the daytime diva talking to me about reponsibility and litter collection? That would be great television. It's not what I pay my licence fee for [Trisha is on Channel 5 - Ed]

Yours

A Rowland
Brighton

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Sir

I write in response to your article entitled "Do You Know How To Get To Erm....Er" (The Argus, 12/10/05).

Frankly I am appalled by the gratuitous and unnecessarily frivolous tone of the article, and the implication throughout that places such as Upper Dicker, Knob Hill and Juggs Close are in any way amusing.

This type of smutty journalism can only exacerbate the general decline in social standards and the overwhelming descent into depravity which I see all around me every time I step outside my house.

As a long time resident of Brighton and Hove, not to mention a subscriber to the Argus for twenty three years now, I am sad to say that in recent times, your paper appears to be positively advocating that people should engage in such unwholesome activities as laughing, giggling, tittering and even the odd misplaced snigger.

I am sure I speak for the silent majority in Brighton & Hove when I say that we will not tolerate such puerile inanity, and that if it continues, your sales figures will undoubtedly plummet as I and millions of like-minded readers, no longer content to put up with this relentless lowering of moral standards, desert you in their droves and turn instead to more upstanding sources of local news for local people as the Mid Sussex Times and the West Sussex Gazette.

I am not a primary school pupil, and do not expect to be treated like one. There is nothing funny whatsoever about Fulking, Lickfold or Cockmount Lane.

Yours moral high-groundedly

AR

 

[Beeercan]

Dear Sir

I am writing to complain, about the sun. What do I pay my Council Taxes for, come on i mean it's October and the sun has been shining, Disgraceful.

I would like to, ask therfore why werent the Citizens (and by this I mean Me) werent given a referendum about this matter. So consequently I must ask that we have no-more sun and that Autum should be miserable.

Angie Rowland
NIMBYVILLE

Dear Sir

Following my letter dated 11th October about the state of the weather, I am replying to say well done. I can finally see where my taxes go. I hope the council could lern from this in future and make sure that the sun only comes out WHEN i give permission.

A Rowland
NIMBYVILLE

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Dear Sirs

I am not full of my own self-importance or anything like that, but think it disgraceful that this thread of piss-takes about me is starting to slip down the page. I demand that my thread become a sticky.

Yours vainly

A.Rowland
Brighton

Dear Sirs

Following from my complaint of two days ago, I see that once more my thread has been allowed to slip. I demand to know what you are going to do about it. I do not pay my taxes to be positioned somewhere below nonsense threads regarding people's birthdays and someone getting banned.

Please sort it out forthwith.

Yours self-importantly

A.Rowland
Brighton

 

[Simster]

Sir,

I can't help but notice that nearly 7,000 Polish football supporters were present at the international football match at Old Trafford.

Not only do I know that the silent majority of Brighton & Hove would join me in complaining at the ridiculous waste of licence fee payers money this football match represented, but I also know that there are exactly ELEVEN Polish families claiming benefit in this country under EU law.

I'm sure I speak for the silent majority of this city - and not just for total FUCKTARDS such as Oceanic, LuckyBoyFerang and 3gulls - when I say that those eleven families are reason enough to ban these Poles from these shores and that it is a shame that that nice Adolf Hitler didn't kill their sort all those years ago.

Yours fliddishly,
A Rowland
Nice White Area
Brighton