Women - where do you poo?

[Bad Ash]

Beer is like a laxitive for me, so I've had to use way too many manky toilets in pubs and clubs. Usually have 3 shits a day at Glasto too

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Well I'm staggered to discover all this finicky female pooing going on!

Only while I don't think taking a tomtit should be a spectator sport and actually prefer a khazi that's clean, well equipped with bog roll and, as a bonus, a small but discerningly chosen library, I've never been the slightest bit bothered about where these conditions are to be found.

The home lavvys meet these conditions (except you have the unecessary factor of a Jack Russell terrier who is fearful of me being Got by the Toilet Monster and gets very nervous if left the wrong side of the door) but so do many others.

So no, it's never occurred to me to be bothered about where you've gotta go when you've gotta go!

(With the exception of the public lavs in Holmfirth and on Haywards Heath Station which were too disgusting to contemplate)

 

[Dandyman]

I'm just shocked that there at least 16 women on NSC.

 

[NMH]

I once met an english woman in India who hadn't pooed for a fortnight.

Very impressive at first, until you realised it was damaging her kidneys and making her ill...

She only needed to drink the water and it would've been like brown Niagara Falls

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

My Missus has had her large intestine removed and a pouch created to "hold deposits". This unfortunately means her number twos are regular to the tune of 5, 6, 7+ times per day - so any lav, bog, lay-by, field or quiet corner often has to be acceptable.

She can fart for England too, but only while lying on her front which squeezes the air through her pouch and OUT !!

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

my wife is another 'only at home' person. The only time that this rule is set aside is if we are only holiday for 2 weeks or so.

her record is 5 days with no defacation.

That's nothing!!! My record is 10 days, as a one off, but i dont need to go more than about once a week!

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

I allways go in the ladies at work,really stink the place out,god knows what would happen if I got caught.

 

[BensGrandad]

I love pooing in those places just to piss off all those off queuing outside to do a few lines.

If you really want to piss them off spray the flat surfaces with WD40 they will not do any lines in there again.

 

[smelly]

Mrs Smell 20 years at Mand S never laid one down there. Once drove 20 minutes home,shat and drove 20 mins back to work..........and it f***ing stunk!

 

[smelly]

 

[ali jenkins]

Theres no better feeling than having a shit at work knowing that yor getting PAID for the privilage!

 

[cronemeister]

Theres no better feeling than having a shit at work knowing that yor getting PAID for the privilage!

My thoughts exactly. I'm a bloke and I have no hesitation in opening the cargo bay doors wherever and whenever necessary. The only time I will squeeze my cheeks and bite the bullet and not bother is when there is no bog roll, or when the only bog roll on offer is that awful tracing paper type stuff.

I have on occasions snuck into the ladies in whatever boozer I've been in as they tend to be cleaner and nicer (probably due to the fact that they only ever shit at home!)....andy they NEVER have that awful tracing paper stuff !!

I always make sure I'm flexed in at work before I have to go and drop me lunch....or make way for lunch !!

Mind you there is a ginger bloke who comes in specially to empty his bowels between 7 and 7.30am every day....he's a field operative but always comes in to set himself up for the day.....and stink our f***ing bogs out......I'm not kidding....I dunno what he eats but it makes my frikkin eyes water every time !!!