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whats worse?
- Thread starter virgirlo
- Start date
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Or a bogie on show stuck in your teeth.
Meade's Ball
Well-known member
I haven't got a choice. My farts are both loud and stinky.
Luckily i don't know anyone important.
Luckily i don't know anyone important.
ben andrews' girlfriend
Nurse Laura
creating a stink and being quiet is definitely better, cause you can blame it on someone else!
Deano's Right Foot
Well-known member
I was standing on the train this morning, and I really had to hold a fart in as there were people sitting down whose noses were inches away from my arse. I was debating in my mind what I would do if I couldn't hold it in and it was a) audible and/or b) stinky. Would I say pardon me? Would I giggle like a six year old? Would I blush? Would I simply melt into the floor? Luckily my sphincter saved me from making a decision.
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
A stinker can be embarrassing. But I find its better to break that awkward silence by breathing in deeply through the nostrils, then exhaling loudly and saying:
"Ahhhh, 1995 unless I'm very much mistaken. A vintage year by anyones standards".
Then tilt your head, give a wry little wink and be on your way.
"Ahhhh, 1995 unless I'm very much mistaken. A vintage year by anyones standards".
Then tilt your head, give a wry little wink and be on your way.
Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,031
How to hide those farts!
How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.
How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.
Re: How to hide those farts!
However the coughing/moving chair act can just leave you digging yourself into the whole further as you fail to recreate that fart sound.
However, the dog excuse is a good one, afterall they can't deny it can they. 
The Northstander said:How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.
However the coughing/moving chair act can just leave you digging yourself into the whole further as you fail to recreate that fart sound.
However, the dog excuse is a good one, afterall they can't deny it can they. CAFC Matt
New member
CrabtreeBHA said:
Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,031
I like to make loud grunting noises whilst stood next to the toilet in the locked cubicle when someone enters, only a few minutes later dropping into the pan a over sized melon!
Imagine the comedy this causes when listening to the reaction !
Imagine the comedy this causes when listening to the reaction !
pasty
A different kind of pasty
Deano's Right Foot said:
Abso-bloody-lutely. Every time. Farting IS funny.
Bluejuice
Lazy as a rug on Valium
What about when you're about to sneeze but, oh-no, a gusto comes shooting out the other end? That's surely the worst because everyone knows it was you.
Braders
Abi Fletchers Gimpboy
bogie in your teeth
Last edited:
Albion Rob
New member
I think it's different for blokes. It's practically compulsary for you to be loud and thorough then walk out of the toilet grinning from ear to ear and giving th next bloke in a conspiratorial wink.
there's definately a boy/girl divide in 'off for a dump' behaviour. In my teenage days camping, the girls quietly snuck off to have a poo whilst the boys, almost triumphantly, made their intentions known with the exaggerated collection of the loo roll and copy of The Sun.