[Humour] What will be the next panic buy/shortage ?

[Codner's Wallop]

Weirdest one for me was flour. Supermarkets never ran out of bread.

Most of that flour ended up in the bin.

Now that was annoying cos I make my own bread all the time. I was looking for other stuff online (not lockdown related) and found that a Chinese supermarket I'd been to a few times had flour branded with a dragon or something. Rang them up and they posted a load to me. It came from Holland....

Now the flour wasn't bread flour but (because I make bread) I had a large bag of gluten which you add to wholemeal or low protein flour to improve it. Add a teaspoon or so to plain flour and it converts it to bread flour. I also had ample yeast as well. Not the silly little packets, but 500g worth.

So I'm now basically a small time bakery supplier.

A work colleague was going crazy with boredom, so I suggested making some bread for the first time, but of course all of the ingredients were unavailable. No worries, I'll post you some.

"How ?"

Well, I got a kitchen machine pack machine. Basically, I can vacuum pack stuff flat that will go in a large envelope and it will go in the post box, even a kilo of flour.

So off I went, vacuum packing yeast, gluten and flour. The gluten and the flour into thick A4 size very hard see through packed blocks and the yeast into a much smaller wallet sized block.

However, I soon realised what I had done. Rather than bread ingredients, before me was cocaine (the flour), a side order of unidentified horse tranquiliser (the gluten) and a cheeky freebie of heroin (the yeast) offered purely as a "taster".

It didn't just look dodgy, it was straight out of a film set. I sent a picture to my colleague and we seriously debated whether I should send it.

Well I did (next day delivery) and almost three weeks later it turned up (a few miles down the road) after being opened, thoroughly sniffed and re-sealed by the post office.

It's probably my enduring memory of the madness of the lockdown.

Totally kneadless

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Warnings distinctly British children’s TV could vanish if subsidy ends https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-...ish-childrens-tv-could-vanish-if-subsidy-ends

Peppa Pig apparently.

Pray for [MENTION=11191]Pretty pink fairy[/MENTION] and [MENTION=35289]Baker lite[/MENTION]

 

[Chicken Run]

Weirdest one for me was flour. Supermarkets never ran out of bread.

Most of that flour ended up in the bin.

Now that was annoying cos I make my own bread all the time. I was looking for other stuff online (not lockdown related) and found that a Chinese supermarket I'd been to a few times had flour branded with a dragon or something. Rang them up and they posted a load to me. It came from Holland....

Now the flour wasn't bread flour but (because I make bread) I had a large bag of gluten which you add to wholemeal or low protein flour to improve it. Add a teaspoon or so to plain flour and it converts it to bread flour. I also had ample yeast as well. Not the silly little packets, but 500g worth.

So I'm now basically a small time bakery supplier.

A work colleague was going crazy with boredom, so I suggested making some bread for the first time, but of course all of the ingredients were unavailable. No worries, I'll post you some.

"How ?"

Well, I got a kitchen machine pack machine. Basically, I can vacuum pack stuff flat that will go in a large envelope and it will go in the post box, even a kilo of flour.

So off I went, vacuum packing yeast, gluten and flour. The gluten and the flour into thick A4 size very hard see through packed blocks and the yeast into a much smaller wallet sized block.

However, I soon realised what I had done. Rather than bread ingredients, before me was cocaine (the flour), a side order of unidentified horse tranquiliser (the gluten) and a cheeky freebie of heroin (the yeast) offered purely as a "taster".

It didn't just look dodgy, it was straight out of a film set. I sent a picture to my colleague and we seriously debated whether I should send it.

Well I did (next day delivery) and almost three weeks later it turned up (a few miles down the road) after being opened, thoroughly sniffed and re-sealed by the post office.

It's probably my enduring memory of the madness of the lockdown.

I don’t believe you, prove it!


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[Skaville]

Defensive midfielder

 

[Live by the sea]

Footballs .

 

[The Clamp]

Sadly in my experience they don't and won't.

Was thinking that as I typed it.

 

[The Clamp]

Warnings distinctly British children’s TV could vanish if subsidy ends https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-...ish-childrens-tv-could-vanish-if-subsidy-ends

Peppa Pig apparently.

Pray for [MENTION=11191]Pretty pink fairy[/MENTION] and [MENTION=35289]Baker lite[/MENTION]

They’ll always have GBeebies. Well, maybe not always.

 

[JC Footy Genius]

I'm going to send out a plea to the legions of retired men across the country who have a garden shed or garage, usually containing odd bits of wood and ask them to knock up a few palletts so we can help out our German friends in their hour of need ... maybe HT could help distribute them?

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/news...rld-economy-germany-squeezed-by-supply-chains

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[Herr Tubthumper]

I'm going to send out a plea to the legions of retired men across the country who have a garden shed or garage, usually containing odd bits of wood and ask them to knock up a few palletts so we can help out our German friends in their hour of need ... maybe HT could help distribute them?

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/news...rld-economy-germany-squeezed-by-supply-chains

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A shortage of pallets? Wooden happen in Germany.

 

[B-right-on]

I feel desperately sorry for supermarket workers this Christmas. They are going to get dogs’ abuse. I hope they get paid well and get a bloody good bonus.

Sadly in my experience they don't and won't.

How many millions did that Tesco bloke walk away with? £6.5m?

Disgusting.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Warnings distinctly British children’s TV could vanish if subsidy ends https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-...ish-childrens-tv-could-vanish-if-subsidy-ends

Peppa Pig apparently.

Pray for [MENTION=11191]Pretty pink fairy[/MENTION] and [MENTION=35289]Baker lite[/MENTION]

Pigs in Blankets
Peppa Pig
M&S Percy Pig sweets
Pigs
Pig slaughterers

I think I can see a theme developing

 

[cunning fergus]

Looking for suggestions, we could even have a poll

Here's some for Starters

Pigs
Pigs in Blankets
Pumpkins
Newcastle Shirts
Binmen

Dry mattresses and bed clothes,
Dehumidifiers used to dry out damp rooms,
Talcum powder, and
Industrial strength air fresheners to mask the stink of piss.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Dry mattresses and bed clothes,
Dehumidifiers used to dry out damp rooms,
Talcum powder, and
Industrial strength air fresheners to mask the stink of piss.

Hilarious, if worryingly similar to [MENTION=35289]Baker lite[/MENTION]'s 'interests'

Stop singing Grasshopper, otherwise we can reflect on how these fellas call out the foolish in their art…….

View attachment 141165

These seems like it is completely unrelated to this thread or anything on it. I can't imagine why you posted it, maybe you could explain

But you seem to have run away from answering this ?

 

[JC Footy Genius]

Dry mattresses and bed clothes,
Dehumidifiers used to dry out damp rooms,
Talcum powder, and
Industrial strength air fresheners to mask the stink of piss.

I would hope that after 5 years of constant bed wetting (concentrated in mainly metropolitan/ middle class enclaves) local suppliers would have stockpiled all those items. [emoji106]

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[junior]

I don’t know if you are serious, but, I bought my Christmas turkey breast this morning for £5.50 a kilo .

My butcher has warned me it will go up to between £7.50 to £9 a kilo come December.

I usually only use fresh Turkey breast for my Christmas dinners, but this year I have bought early and put it in my freezers.

That is how panic buying starts

 

[sparkie]

Supermarket food in general. The locusts will descend at the end of the month.

 

[Bodian]

I don’t wish to be picky (well, I suppose I do a little), but the “planned fuel outages” (three day week and planned power cuts) were in 1974 under the Heath government, while the “winter of discontent” (strikes, unburied bodies) was in 78/79 under Callaghan. Don’t know how we survived the seventies really.

Interesting how memory does that to you doesn't it. I would have been too young to be doing homework in 1974, but very clearly remember the fuel shortages that year as we went on holiday to Scotland on the motorail. My parents had to phone my grandad, who had to wire money to the local Post Office because we were running short of cash as petrol was so expensive. In those days you couldn't just pay by card, and the banks in Scotland were different to the ones in England, so cash was tricky to get out as well. Not sure why cheques weren't used, but there must have been some reason.

I think the '78/79 power cuts must have been more indiscriminate then, and less planned - presumably the result of wild-cat strikes at power plants or electricity companies. I also remember being in WH Smiths in Churchill Square spending my Christmas book token when the lights went out and they lit a load of candles!

 

[newhaven seagull 85]

Well it's the 9th October, my stock for Halloween is already 3 weeks late on delivery, and this week, I find myself ordering Easter eggs, and confectionery for the spring season.

 

[MTSeagulls]

Irish passports

I panic bought mine three years ago.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

I've heard there is already a MASSIVE shortage down at the SPERM bank and they are expected to remain "dry" from some time.


Reason given:
All the wxnkers are too busy queuing for petrol, pigs, flour, bog-roll, etc. and have been unable to make deposits ....