What is it with Women....

[Wardy]

My missies was moaning the other day because she was finding it hard to get all the things done that she needed to do, like looking after the kids, cleaning and laundry. She has just called to say that she is going round a friends straight from work.

When I had got home and seen the child minder out, I was cooking the kids dinner and decided I would help out by putting my work shirts on to wash. I told her this when she called and she started having a go at me, saying that I was only doing it to make her look bad.

Show me a man who says he understands women and I will show you a liar.

 

[supaseagull]

...its like when you buy your missus flowers and then she asks you what you've done wrong

Women eh? Can't beat em...well you can but thats illegal

 

[Crazy Cornish Gal]

 

[Braders]

Women eh? Can't beat em...well you can but thats illegal

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Women. Can't live with them,

 

[Braders]

Women. Can't live with them,

...because of Legal Restraint (sp?) ?

 

[Beach Hut]

Yep I debated whether buy my wife chocies on the way back from Amsterdam and thought better of it.

"You not trying to get me fat" nag, nag ,nag

 

[Stumpy Tim]

In the past 6 months I have learnt the art of switching off when my missus talks. It works a treat as I am told I'm a great listener.

 

[Eddie the Seagull]

I was grilled for hours about my ex's - When I finally cracked & spilled the beans she got all upset.



Another one went crazy after I forgot to order extra pepperoni on her pizza. A right bunny boiler - Made Kathy Bates in 'Misery' seem like Mary Poppins.



Both were canned in double quick time

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

when you shopping and she's trying on clothes
"what do you think?"
"no i don't like it"
translates into women talk as "you look fat in that take it off now and try 20 others"

or

"yes thats really suits you "

Translates as " you just want me to buy this don't you? you don't want to be here and would sooner be down the pub. you don't care what i look like just as soon as you're out of here . i don't know why i bother just piss off you bastard!"

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Was out with a friend of mine tonight who's a lesbian and we were discussing relationships and stuff.

She said she thought all women were bitches, so I asked her why the f*** she was a lesbian then.

"Cos they've got tits and fanny."

Very well put I thought

 

[brunswick]

women = "snakes with tits"

they have a wierd hormone that moves the "mood swing part of the brain" up and down automatically.

 

[hutchings (48)]

As soon as you realise that you'll never understand women, thats when you'll understand them.

 

[Easy 10]

Women are emotionally incontinent drama queens. Get them a bunch of flowers and they are high as a kite for days. Forget their birthday and you might as well have raped their sister.

Why can't they just take inspiration from blokes, and adopt a "one mood fits all" attitude ? It would make it so much easier.

 

[Lammy]

My missies was moaning the other day because she was finding it hard to get all the things done that she needed to do, like looking after the kids, cleaning and laundry. She has just called to say that she is going round a friends straight from work.

When I had got home and seen the child minder out, I was cooking the kids dinner and decided I would help out by putting my work shirts on to wash. I told her this when she called and she started having a go at me, saying that I was only doing it to make her look bad.

Show me a man who says he understands women and I will show you a liar.

The correct response would be;

"No dear, you're doing that all by yourself!"

*then run*

 

[Barnet Seagull]

when you shopping and she's trying on clothes
"what do you think?"
"no i don't like it"
translates into women talk as "you look fat in that take it off now and try 20 others"

or

"yes thats really suits you "

Translates as " you just want me to buy this don't you? you don't want to be here and would sooner be down the pub. you don't care what i look like just as soon as you're out of here . i don't know why i bother just piss off you bastard!"

1. Don't ever go shopping.
2. Let her go shopping and buy anything she likes.
3. Make her try it all on.
4. Eulogise about the stuff which looks good
5. Offer to take the other stuff back.

 

[Meade's Ball]

Why can't they just take inspiration from blokes, and adopt a "one mood fits all" attitude ? It would make it so much easier.

Is that mood abject indifference?

 

[Easy 10]

Is that mood abject indifference?

Abject indifference, passive acceptance, general apathy.

Yes, that kind of thing. Its designed to keep stress to an absolute minimum.

 

[Meade's Ball]

Abject indifference, passive acceptance, general apathy.

Yes, that kind of thing. Its designed to keep stress to an absolute minimum.

Then i'm not alone.
Sometimes i fake my own orgasms.

 

[onlyaboho]

Don't trust anything that bleeds yet doesn't die.