Black Country Seagull
New member
No wonder Petr Czheck (sp?) had a helmet on for so long
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Wayne Bridge's Bird
- Thread starter User removed 4
- Start date
Hilario.
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Monsieur Le Plonk
Lethargy in motion
God sake Simster, give the poor bird a chance. She's trying to get round everyone as quick as she can.
I think you've got to be at least a white member to be in with a shout
Uncle C
Well-known member
Well that rules out Ashley Cole (or is that racist?)
Gritt23
New member
Are you suggesting she's a cockjuggler?
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,499
It's going to turn into a Tiger Woods type situation now isn't it. Now the cat's out of the bag, watch out for dozens of other whining gold-diggers flogging their tediously identical stories to the rags 
Love Rat England Hero JT Loved My Boobs But Never Called The Next Day
Stunning blonde model [insert name here] yesterday revealed exclusively to [name of newspaper] the SORDID details of her romp with soccer love cheat John Terry.
BOOBS
[name] was on a night out with friends at [name of club] when the footy hero set his sights on her.
"I had no idea that he'd be there, in fact I don't even know anything about footballers" lied curvy [name], 44-26-36. "But it was clear early on that he fancied me. He couldn't keep his eyes off my boobs!".
Serial philanderer Terry, plied [name] with drinks as he chatted her up, and it was soon clear that he wanted more than just a conversation. "It was clear that he wanted more than just a conversation" said [name]. "He had lovely eyes, and I really thought he had feelings for me. After a few more drinks we just couldn't keep our hands off each other".
MOANED
The sordid star moaned with pleasure as [name] performed a sex act on him in the back of his Ferrari. "I don't normally do things like that" said [name] "But I was sure he loved me". The disgraced hero then drove her back to an empty flat owned by a Chelsea colleague, where he offered her champagne. "I really thought I'd found my perfect man" said [name] "He was so gentle and I couldn't resist his toned body".
ROMP
The married defender romped with [name] for several hours, only stopping to send a text message to team-mate Didier Drogba and set the SkyPlus box to record Ready Steady Cook. "He was so loving and said I had an amazing bum. I couldn't believe my luck. Considering he's a rich footballer, which I obviously had no idea about prior to going to a nightclub notorious for attracting rich footballing rich people, he certainly knew how to score! And I was amazed by the size of his tackle!"
CALLOUS
At sunrise, the soccer stud got up and left in his Ferrari, saying he had to go to training. "I thought he'd be back straight afterwards" sniffed heartbroken [name]. But the love rat never even called [name], callously leaving her to pay for her own bus fare home and shattering her dreams of a glittering celebrity wedding. "The whole affair has left me feeling empty" [name] told us. "I never imagined a footballer could be so heartless as to meet a girl in a nightclub, have sex with her and then ignore her. I feel cheap and used. But I'd still take him back now if he begged me"
Love Rat England Hero JT Loved My Boobs But Never Called The Next Day
Stunning blonde model [insert name here] yesterday revealed exclusively to [name of newspaper] the SORDID details of her romp with soccer love cheat John Terry.
BOOBS
[name] was on a night out with friends at [name of club] when the footy hero set his sights on her.
"I had no idea that he'd be there, in fact I don't even know anything about footballers" lied curvy [name], 44-26-36. "But it was clear early on that he fancied me. He couldn't keep his eyes off my boobs!".
Serial philanderer Terry, plied [name] with drinks as he chatted her up, and it was soon clear that he wanted more than just a conversation. "It was clear that he wanted more than just a conversation" said [name]. "He had lovely eyes, and I really thought he had feelings for me. After a few more drinks we just couldn't keep our hands off each other".
MOANED
The sordid star moaned with pleasure as [name] performed a sex act on him in the back of his Ferrari. "I don't normally do things like that" said [name] "But I was sure he loved me". The disgraced hero then drove her back to an empty flat owned by a Chelsea colleague, where he offered her champagne. "I really thought I'd found my perfect man" said [name] "He was so gentle and I couldn't resist his toned body".
ROMP
The married defender romped with [name] for several hours, only stopping to send a text message to team-mate Didier Drogba and set the SkyPlus box to record Ready Steady Cook. "He was so loving and said I had an amazing bum. I couldn't believe my luck. Considering he's a rich footballer, which I obviously had no idea about prior to going to a nightclub notorious for attracting rich footballing rich people, he certainly knew how to score! And I was amazed by the size of his tackle!"
CALLOUS
At sunrise, the soccer stud got up and left in his Ferrari, saying he had to go to training. "I thought he'd be back straight afterwards" sniffed heartbroken [name]. But the love rat never even called [name], callously leaving her to pay for her own bus fare home and shattering her dreams of a glittering celebrity wedding. "The whole affair has left me feeling empty" [name] told us. "I never imagined a footballer could be so heartless as to meet a girl in a nightclub, have sex with her and then ignore her. I feel cheap and used. But I'd still take him back now if he begged me"
How do you find time to be Plod AND write for the Sunday Mirror Edna?
Norman Baker suck my lozenge
New member
OOOh I bet She'll need ringing out after all those healthy young footballists.
Ewww.
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,499
Ssshh, I've got away with it so far but I think they started to rumble me when my last arrest statement was read out in court.
Apparently excessive use of capital letters, terminology such as "boobed" and "bedded", and the inclusion of suspects' breast sizes in their description is frowned upon by the magistrates
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,499
Nice to see she's got Max Clifford involved now isn't it?
Let me guess- she's doing it for her son, right? Who I'm sure will be thrilled in ten years time to read how Mummy blew JT at the Stamford Bridge Christmas party. I hope the money's worth it.
Let me guess- she's doing it for her son, right? Who I'm sure will be thrilled in ten years time to read how Mummy blew JT at the Stamford Bridge Christmas party. I hope the money's worth it.
The Grockle
Formally Croydon Seagull
camel toe? she looks like she's keeping an xl double cheeseburger warm. no complaints here mind, i loves a bit of crutch cleveage.
Would you suck JT's cock for £250,000?
This question belongs on Danny's wrong questions thread that got bounced a couple of days ago.
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,499
Is that a direct question to me?
Appears to be...
Feel free to answer it.Is that a direct question to me?
Norman Baker suck my lozenge
New member
No,no,I don't think I could do that,then again I don't think He'd want me to
Instead I'm gonna hang around Asda in Burgh Heath and see if his Missus(and her big mac)wants her shopping carried.