You've probably all seen this before but I hadn't so here goes!
McClaren and Tel before the game & it is true- picked up by secet microphone.......
Mc – Right, Tel, thanks to Israel I can still get us through to the Euros and
can’t afford any mistakes. Goalkeeper – who’s the best in the country?
TV – Rob Green
Mc – Don’t know him. Is he in the squad?
TV – No.
Mc – Who have we got – I can’t afford to play that clown Robinson again?
TV - James and Carson.
Mc – Who would you go for?
TV – Well James is in good form and has more experience.
Mc – Hmmmmm, James cost Sven a few games, I’ll go with Carson. Defence picks
itself; Nev, JT, Rio and Ash.
TV – They’re all injured, Steve.
Mc – Oh. Well, Micah at right back, Ledley and Carra in the middle and the other
fella who can only kick with one foot on the left.
TV – Ledley’s injured, Steve - and Carra refuses to play for his country.
Mc – Who does that leave me?
TV – Lescott and Sol.
Mc – There must be other centre halves?
TV – They’re all foreigners, Steve.
Mc – Lescott? I thought he was a left back, never mind, he’s in. Midfield is
easy Becks, Lamps, Stevie G and Joey.
TV – I wouldn’t start with Becks, Steve. Not fit and playing in a Mickey Mouse
league.
Mc – Well I saw him a few weeks ago and he scored twice in a 14-4 win.
TV – Save him towards the end in case we need a get out of jail card like
against Greece.
Mc – Good idea – so we’ll play the little fella on the right. You know,quick
with no end product.
TV – Lennon?
Mc – No, the other one. He’s Dad will be in the TV studio, so that should go
down well. So that’s SWP, Lamps, Stevie G and Joey.
TV – Steve, you know Frank and Stevie G can’t play together, even my old mum
knows that.
Mc – Only because neither one is defensive. I’m going to put another man behind
them, Barry. That’ll fool Bilic. Now, up front. I think we should play the two
that caused Russia so many problems here.
TV – Heskey and Owen?
Mc – Yep.
TV – They’re both injured.
Mc - $hit – who would you play?
TV – Rooney and Ashton.
Mc – Excellent, two class players, they’re in.
TV – They’re both injured.
Mc – Fck me, have I upset the big man up there?
TV – Who, Barwick?
Mc –No THE big man.
TV – Crouchy won’t let you down.
Mc – How many goals has he scored this season?
TV – None
Mc – None? Is he the best we’ve got?
TV – We’ve got Defoe and Bent as well. They’ve got one goal between them.
Mc – One goal between 3 of our best players, why is that?
TV – Too many foreigners in the Premiership.
Mc – Tel, I’m struggling here, do you think I’m out of my depth?
TV – Don’t be silly, look at your CV, how many trophies have you won?
Mc – None.
TV – I’ve just remembered, I’ve got to speak to my solicitor about redundancy
compensation.
McClaren and Tel before the game & it is true- picked up by secet microphone.......
Mc – Right, Tel, thanks to Israel I can still get us through to the Euros and
can’t afford any mistakes. Goalkeeper – who’s the best in the country?
TV – Rob Green
Mc – Don’t know him. Is he in the squad?
TV – No.
Mc – Who have we got – I can’t afford to play that clown Robinson again?
TV - James and Carson.
Mc – Who would you go for?
TV – Well James is in good form and has more experience.
Mc – Hmmmmm, James cost Sven a few games, I’ll go with Carson. Defence picks
itself; Nev, JT, Rio and Ash.
TV – They’re all injured, Steve.
Mc – Oh. Well, Micah at right back, Ledley and Carra in the middle and the other
fella who can only kick with one foot on the left.
TV – Ledley’s injured, Steve - and Carra refuses to play for his country.
Mc – Who does that leave me?
TV – Lescott and Sol.
Mc – There must be other centre halves?
TV – They’re all foreigners, Steve.
Mc – Lescott? I thought he was a left back, never mind, he’s in. Midfield is
easy Becks, Lamps, Stevie G and Joey.
TV – I wouldn’t start with Becks, Steve. Not fit and playing in a Mickey Mouse
league.
Mc – Well I saw him a few weeks ago and he scored twice in a 14-4 win.
TV – Save him towards the end in case we need a get out of jail card like
against Greece.
Mc – Good idea – so we’ll play the little fella on the right. You know,quick
with no end product.
TV – Lennon?
Mc – No, the other one. He’s Dad will be in the TV studio, so that should go
down well. So that’s SWP, Lamps, Stevie G and Joey.
TV – Steve, you know Frank and Stevie G can’t play together, even my old mum
knows that.
Mc – Only because neither one is defensive. I’m going to put another man behind
them, Barry. That’ll fool Bilic. Now, up front. I think we should play the two
that caused Russia so many problems here.
TV – Heskey and Owen?
Mc – Yep.
TV – They’re both injured.
Mc - $hit – who would you play?
TV – Rooney and Ashton.
Mc – Excellent, two class players, they’re in.
TV – They’re both injured.
Mc – Fck me, have I upset the big man up there?
TV – Who, Barwick?
Mc –No THE big man.
TV – Crouchy won’t let you down.
Mc – How many goals has he scored this season?
TV – None
Mc – None? Is he the best we’ve got?
TV – We’ve got Defoe and Bent as well. They’ve got one goal between them.
Mc – One goal between 3 of our best players, why is that?
TV – Too many foreigners in the Premiership.
Mc – Tel, I’m struggling here, do you think I’m out of my depth?
TV – Don’t be silly, look at your CV, how many trophies have you won?
Mc – None.
TV – I’ve just remembered, I’ve got to speak to my solicitor about redundancy
compensation.
He won the League Cup, then got to the final of the UEFA cup (entry to which was only gained as a result of aforementioned league cup win). That's at most 2 seasons of 'success', hardly sustained.
