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Toddler abducted



DJ Leon

New member
Aug 30, 2003
3,446
Hassocks
edna krabappel said:
I guess there are plenty of parents about who would do the same in the circumstances, ie leave the kids in the apartment, checking them every so often.

I suppose it's a question of weighing up the risk- after all, what are the odds of something like this happening? The one local pervert happening to find the one resort and the one apartment in which the kids were all alone? And I doubt the parents need any telling at this moment in time, their feelings can't even be imagined. I have no kids, so I can't really say what I'd do.

But I would ask this question- maybe those of you on here with children can answer- let's say you did go out for dinner, and you arranged for a mate to babysit your kids. What would you then say if you got home at the end of the evening and found out that, rather than sitting in your house, the babysitter had gone out to a restaurant 100 yards down the road, returning to your house only hourly to check on your kids? Is that a reasonable risk?

Interesting questions. I just find it sad that we forced to ask ourselves them.
Perhaps we all need to ask ourselves:

Is it safe to book our children into a separate hotel room?

Is it safe to leave our children ina locked car when we go to pay for petrol?

Is it safe to leave the children playing in the garden when we're not looking?

In fact: Is it EVER safe to let our children out of our sight?

Imagine the society we're creating if the answer to all the above questions is NO. Sad.
 






Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
71,897
Every ex-Inspector / criminal psychologist in the papers has it down as the work of the loner gardener/caretaker in the apartment complex. Just like the great British public sort of KNEW whodunnit at Soham, and in 90% of the anguished step-father televised media interviews of a couple of years back. Got so, we'd all yell at the the telly 'The STEP-FATHER DID IT!' - and it was invariably the case. Don't suppose the Portugese police have focussed in on the bleedin' obvious yet? ???
 


Clothes Peg

New member
Mar 3, 2007
2,305
DJ Leon said:
Interesting questions. I just find it sad that we forced to ask ourselves them.
Perhaps we all need to ask ourselves:

Is it safe to book our children into a separate hotel room?

Is it safe to leave our children ina locked car when we go to pay for petrol?

Is it safe to leave the children playing in the garden when we're not looking?

In fact: Is it EVER safe to let our children out of our sight?

Imagine the society we're creating if the answer to all the above questions is NO. Sad.

I was brought up where the answer to those questions was always NO. I'm 19 and I have to be home by 11pm and I'm not allowed to spend the night at someone elses house. At least it's taught me lessons in how I want to bring up my own children.
 


Dick Knights Mumm

Take me Home Falmer Road
Jul 5, 2003
19,709
Hither and Thither
edna krabappel said:
But I would ask this question- maybe those of you on here with children can answer- let's say you did go out for dinner, and you arranged for a mate to babysit your kids. What would you then say if you got home at the end of the evening and found out that, rather than sitting in your house, the babysitter had gone out to a restaurant 100 yards down the road, returning to your house only hourly to check on your kids? Is that a reasonable risk?

Not unless you knew in advance and agreed to it. But I think that is a different point. It is like when we had a car where the centre seat-belt on the back seat was a lap-belt. If we had someone else's child with us - one of our kids would go in the centre seat. Not because they are any less precious - but because they are our children and we make the judgement about their risk.




I only realised over the weekend - but I have been to that resort - and stayed in accomodation near the ones from where the child was snatched. It is not a compound or anything like that - but a series of blocks of four storey (approx) apartments - part let, part lived in. It is a quiet family place - there are no night clubs etc. It feels safe. People are on holiday, their guard is down. What people do on holiday tends to differ from home. I am sure that applies to most people.
 
Last edited:




Rookie

Greetings
Feb 8, 2005
12,324
ginadim said:
I was brought up where the answer to those questions was always NO. I'm 19 and I have to be home by 11pm and I'm not allowed to spend the night at someone elses house. At least it's taught me lessons in how I want to bring up my own children.

19 and home by 11 is not parenting its prison. Do hope you mean you would not do the same to your kids
 


Clothes Peg

New member
Mar 3, 2007
2,305
Rookie said:
19 and home by 11 is not parenting its prison. Do hope you mean you would not do the same to your kids

It's 11.30 on special occasions!
I would definitely not bring up my kids like that. In my opinon, once a child reaches 16, they are mature enough to make their own mistakes. If I was allowed to make and learn from my own mistakes, I may well be a different person.

But unfortunately it's that old "my house, my rules" scenario.
 


DJ Leon

New member
Aug 30, 2003
3,446
Hassocks
ginadim said:
I was brought up where the answer to those questions was always NO. I'm 19 and I have to be home by 11pm and I'm not allowed to spend the night at someone elses house. At least it's taught me lessons in how I want to bring up my own children.

Your example is completely different to my ones though isn't it?

I don't belive your parents NEVER let you out of their sight as a child. I don't think that's possible.

The parents are getting flack here for locking their children in a room to sleep and then eating out very nearby. If the children had been in a different room to them (I don't know if they were) then whoever did this could have done it while the parents were asleep.

No parents watch their children 24/7, so if some nutjob wants to break in and take them they will.
 




empire

Well-known member
Dec 1, 2003
11,705
dreamland
lets hope they find her,me as a parent of 4,i wouldnt or never ever leave my kids unatended like that,and if as they hav a job like that,suprised they even thought about it,kids can choke or get distressed in 1 min,let alone 30 mins.But you bring your own up they way you feel as parents,lets not all preach what is right or wrong,lets pray she gets back safe am well,she is loved by many,as we all are
 


British Bulldog

The great escape
Feb 6, 2006
10,967
ginadim said:
It's 11.30 on special occasions!
I would definitely not bring up my kids like that. In my opinon, once a child reaches 16, they are mature enough to make their own mistakes.

You cant put an age on it every child is different and they all mature at different ages, It's a bit like saying at 18 your an adult! Some are some are'nt!
 


Clothes Peg

New member
Mar 3, 2007
2,305
British Bulldog said:
You cant put an age on it every child is different and they all mature at different ages, It's a bit like saying at 18 your an adult! Some are some are'nt!

Got to draw the line somewhere, otherwise you'll end up being one of those parents who never lets their kid out of sight until they leave home!!
 




rospants

off to ronan in the park!
Jul 11, 2005
2,059
brighton
thankfully the police believe she is still alive, so the must have some inofrmation that they arent releasing. Lets just hope whover took her will see the news and realise how much she is loved and missed and return her to where she belongs
 


British Bulldog

The great escape
Feb 6, 2006
10,967
ginadim said:
Got to draw the line somewhere, otherwise you'll end up being one of those parents who never lets their kid out of sight until they leave home!!

Wait until you have kids of your own and then decide eh?
 


Lady Whistledown

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
47,499
In the same way that if a fan is determined to run on the pitch and attack a player, they will without anyone being able to stop them, someone who is utterly determined to abduct a child and do what they wish with them, will likewise find it relatively simple.

The fact is, despite what The Sun and their endless campaign for the so called Sarah's Law would have you believe, the chances of your children being abducted in this way are absolutely miniscule.

Children are FAR more likely to be abused/assaulted/killed by someone known to them, often a family member, than a random stranger, which is why the rare examples of kids meeting this fate are headline news, because of the rarity of it happening. You can reel the names off with ease- Sarah Payne, Holly & Jessica, the Babes in the Wood etc etc, precisely BECAUSE of the unusual nature of such incidents.

I doubt Sarah Payne's mother thought her kids would be at risk by letting them play in fields near their grandparents' house, but such was the planning evidently put into things by Roy Whiting, she just happened to be, tragically, in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But I bet most people still let their kids play outside in the evenings, within reason.
 




edna krabappel said:


But I bet most people still let their kids play outside in the evenings, within reason.

And rightly so.

There does seem to be an air of total paranoia surrounding kids these days-by parents who seem convinced that every male over the age of 9 is a paedophile.

As you say Edna, most kids are abused by people they know and trust, as the recent revelations about church members seems to suggest.

Having said that-I hope this child is found safe and sound. Sadly, in cases like this, the longer it goes on the odds are against a happy ending.
 


rospants

off to ronan in the park!
Jul 11, 2005
2,059
brighton
does anyone remember the little boy that went missing in 1991 when was 21 months old, think he was called Ben Needham, i guess he wouldnt remember who is real family is now as he was so young. It is believed he is still alive
 


Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
72,225
Living In a Box
rospants said:
does anyone remember the little boy that went missing in 1991 when was 21 months old, think he was called Ben Needham, i guess he wouldnt remember who is real family is now as he was so young. It is believed he is still alive

I was thinking that myself - Greece somewhere (powers of Google - Kos)
 






Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
56,641
Back in Sussex
rospants said:
does anyone remember the little boy that went missing in 1991 when was 21 months old, think he was called Ben Needham, i guess he wouldnt remember who is real family is now as he was so young. It is believed he is still alive

Ben Needham.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Needham
 




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