Those England player demands in full

[Man of Harveys]

What do we reckon the poor bored little diddums are after after so that, in exchange, they'll be kind enough to play well for their grateful public?

1. Beer.
2. Whores.

Anything else?

 

[Scampi]

More dummies to throw out of their prams?

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

They want BLING and SPORTS CARS

 

[Guy Fawkes]

£150k a week + image rights and sponsorship deals

 

[Simster]

I didn't realise that in that advert where all the babies were being named WAYNE, that that particular scene was being filmed in a SCOTTISH hospital.

 

[Man of Harveys]

One of these. Who can blame them.

Michael, the Little Striker - Michael, the Little Striker - Collectibles | Memorabilia | Jewellery | Bradford Exchange

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

To be able to pick all there Best mates in the starting 11

 

[vegster]

What do we reckon the poor bored little diddums are after after so that, in exchange, they'll be kind enough to play well for their grateful public?

1. Beer.
2. Whores.

Anything else?

Crayons and colouring books.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Some of these:

 

[Easy 10]

I can only assume somebody forgot to take an ego-masseur along. They have therefore become unsettled and confused, as nobody has told them how f***ing BRILLIANT and AMAZING they are for nearly 3 weeks now.

 

[The Large One]

That we don't play anyone as as good as Algeria again.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Big LOLLIES (that's a real picture apparently):

 

[Simster]

That we don't play anyone as as good as Algeria again.

No no no. Jermaine Defoe says England are a "GREAT" side. Teams like Algeria are unable to live with England. It might have been 0-0 but England would have scored 10 on another day.

 

[nwgull]

I expect that when not playing or training, most would just want a chance to get away for a few hours without being pursued by the media or under constant scrutiny from the management, and maybe a bit of time with their families.

 

[seagull_special]

They want to:

spit roast Mrs Capello,

the opposition to stop trying so hard

they want to party till 5 in the morning

They want the world cup handed to them on a plate

make sure the public don't confuse Rooney's petulance with passion,
running around like a headless chicken with energy
and shouting and snarling at everyone with commitment

 

[Mr. Jolly]

They want to:

spit roast Mrs Capello,

the opposition to stop trying so hard

they want to party till 5 in the morning

They want the world cup handed to them on a plate

make sure the public don't confuse Rooney's petulance with passion,
running around like a headless chicken with energy
and shouting and snarling at everyone with commitment

I'm starting to think that Joe Cole has already been caught doing that with Mrs Capello

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

That the players can go back to using their nicknames

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

How can they be bored with three games to watch a day!?

Football aside, they need other home comforts like disabled parking bays to park in, DJs to thump, toilet seats to steal and night club plant pots to piss in etc.

 

[Sweeney Todd]

In future, England games will be shown on the Gay Channel, as ITV and BBC no longer want to show eleven arseholes getting hammered for ninety minutes.

 

[The Large One]

In future, England games will be shown on the Gay Channel, as ITV and BBC no longer want to show eleven arseholes getting hammered for ninety minutes.