Things you dread to hear from your girlfriend/spouse

[nwgull]

Particularly as it's normally something like should we be playing two strikers at home or whether it's too early in the season to be playing two spinners?

I may actually share that sort of thought with my missis, but with me it's usually one of the following:

- I'm just staring out the window appreciating something mundane like the reflection of the sunlight of the trees.

- Fantasising that I'm a an amazing sportsman and how my proffessional career would have panned out.

- The though of her mum rubbing one out over Internet porn since the time I inadvertently found a google search history for 'redtube' on her pc!

 

[Mr Banana]

I may actually share that sort of thought with my missis, but with me it's usually one of the following:

- I'm just staring out the window appreciating something mundane like the reflection of the sunlight of the trees.

- Fantasising that I'm a an amazing sportsman and how my proffessional career would have panned out.

- The though of her mum rubbing one out over Internet porn since the time I inadvertently found a google search history for 'redtube' on her pc!

"What you thinking?" always fascinates me, as if I'm scheming my latest escapade with a Page 3 model or plotting the demise of Western civilization. So I clumsily make something obviously false up or just mutter under my breath, which probably adds to the suspicion. When actually I'm probably thinking about why people are so stupid, or when Jazzy Jeff is going to tell us where these UK tour dates he said he was doing in April are going to be, or whether I could flick the bus ticket in my pocket the length of the table we're sitting at, or whether I'll ever get to the bottom of my washing pile.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

"I really want you to meet my parents"

This one really scares me. I've seen that Kate McCann on the news and she seems a right bitch.

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

What are you thinking about right now?

Men ask that as well!!!

 

[KneeOn]

"I really want you to meet my parents"

This one really scares me. I've seen that Kate McCann on the news and she seems a right bitch.

Your sick

- You've changed

is my one. I hate it. URGH.

 

[New Carpet?]

"I've got a soft spot for Crystal Palace."

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Should I sun bathe topless?

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Should I sun bathe topless?

She must have right saggy maggies then

 

[pasty]

My girlfriend asked me 'what are you thinking' a couple of months ago.

I replied "oh, I was just wondering who would win in a fight between the clangers and the wombles"

She didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

"Funny that you're the same height as your Dad but you've got a smaller dick?"

 

[pasty]

Suprise darling, I've booked a wonderful holiday on a desert island for the whole month of June this year.

 

[bristolseagull]

i'm HIV positive

 

[Iamapen15]

"That's not going from my arse into my mouth without you washing it"

 

[narly101]

can't believe you all missed the classic;

"Does my arse look big in this?"

 

[byf]

"Cant we just cuddle"

 

[wellquickwoody]

can't believe you all missed the classic;

"Does my arse look big in this?"

No darling, you've just got a big arse.

 

[Les Biehn]

Why does my fanny itch?

 

[PHCgull]

the one i dread is..

"I've been looking at the joint account statements...."

then the shit would really hit the fan

 

[forumwayseagull]

OR....I received a text the other day that I don't think you meant to send me...................Leaving it open for you to royally fu** it all up and say the wrong things......(need to think quickly on your feet here) well so Ive been told..

 

[Husty]

"I really want you to meet my parents"

This one really scares me. I've seen that Kate McCann on the news and she seems a right bitch.