The things you learn from TV advertisements

[Mellotron]

The more annoying the car insurance advert, the better it works.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

You can find ANYTHING you want, within that same hour, simply by looking in the Yellow Pages.

That's right, Hartley. J....R....Hartley.

 

[The Large One]

When advertising food, women like to use smiling as a substitute for masticating.

 

[Colossal Squid]

The Go Compare singer is racking up more miles than the History Channel

 

[Badger]

Food is really cheap in Africa. £2 a month to feed a family? You can't even get a Big Mac for that.

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

Not putting Calgon is every wash is as dangerous as your 7 year old son going out on his bike without a helmet on.

 

[Titanic]

The more annoying the car insurance advert, the better it works.

Indeed. And you can sell car insurance to anyone just by shouting 'FREE CAKE'.

 

[backson]

Vulnerable children in NSPCC ads always move in slow motion

 

[Nathan]

If carlsberg spent a bit more time on making the beer rather than everything else in the world, they would have a decent beer. But as it stands they don't.

 

[Titanic]

However quick a QuickQuid 'payday' loan is... the Representative 1734% APR makes it a very expensive few minutes!

WONGA.COM "Little loans, lots of control" and "No hidden costs" Representative APR an eye-watering 4214%.

Bargain

 

[backson]

Meerkats should be extinct, the irritating little bleeders

 

[Nathan]

Gillette the best a man can get. They never said it was perfect, but it is the best YOU can get. I can get better.

 

[Badger]

If you have a Barclaycard you can travel to work on a rollercoaster

 

[Nathan]

If you fall off a ladder, or down a whole, or slip on a wet bit of the floor - you are quids in.

 

[backson]

WKD turns you into a mischievous little scamp, not a stumbling drunken arsehole

 

[Nathan]

The bloke in the BT advert only had 3 friends that wanted to go on his stag do!

 

[SUIYHP]

Dettol realised there is a lot of bacteria on the handle of a soap pump, so they invented a non-touch soap dispenser so that your hands would not get Bacteria on them


let me re-iterate that; you might make your hands dirty from touching a soap pump.


Only complete twat would fall for that pathetic pile of gobshite

 

[black & white seagull]

If you purchase a new car, whatever the manufacturer, mile upon mile of empty roads will open up before you.

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

you can only use a certain type of ladder if fitting a burglar alarm

 

[Gary Leeds]

The guy in the Ocean Finance advert carries a pool cue and fishing rod everywhere and never changes his clothes

Stacey Soloman is still learning the words for an Iceland advert (next time there is one on you will never get more than 6 words said by her and in one its just a fake laugh)

According to Walkers new advert scousers are thieves and benefit cheats as Rebecca Ferguson steals a bag of crisps from a wheelchair bound old lady who then stands up, runs after her and can hang from a helicopter

If you bank with HSBC your money is being wasted in sending a guy to India to find out why loads of washing machines are being sold when they could have just phone someone up