The Battle Of Brighton 2011

[Don Quixote]

Epic poems don't generally rhyme like that, if they rhyme at all, that is all.

It is quality though.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Quality stuff [MENTION=1792]fataddick[/MENTION], well done.

As an aside just pulled out of East Croydon station and no pikeys! I guess they haven't got out of bed yet.

 

[Brightonfan1983]

Great stuff!

 

[Seagull Steve]

A great piece of writing there, nice one mate.

 

[Crofty]

It's quite clear from various other threads that today is going to be something akin to the Battle for Middle Earth (only with more orcs). With that in mind, and as a complete neutral, I've decided to write an epic battle poem about it. Before Attila does.

THE BATTLE OF BRIGHTON 2011

'Twas on the Twenty Seventh
in the merry month of September
The Palace envoys came to town
For a day they'd long remember

They arrived by road and rail
In caravan and coach
Armed with thermos flasks
As Brighton they approached

Some brave Eagles had taken off
The whole day from work
Some came dressed as Beowulf
And some as Captain Kirk

The alehouses by the station
Soon they were awash
With spotty blokes in blue red shirts
Talking nerdy tosh

Terrified old ladies ran
From the heaving mobs
"We don't mind football fans
but these are tedious knobs"

Rumours on the internet
Said they were tooled up
Sure, some had brought down Bovril
In a paper cup

Some had Klingon dictionaries
This was quite a rabble
At least two groups were seen
Toting Travel Scrabble

Knocking back six bottles each
Of finest Becks Blue
Soon they started swaying
And chanting "procreate you"

The barman hadn't the heart to say
"That beer's alcohol free"
As half the group passed out in the street
And the rest went for a pee

The ones not dressed in colours
Looked fresh from London Palladium
In cheesecloth shirts and wide-rimmed hats
At Amex Community Stadium

They arrived at Falmer in good spirits
Of drink they'd had their fill
They took their seats in the South Stand
And promptly lost four nil

Heading back to Croydon slums
Broken and upset
They cheered up when they saw their train
Was one not ticked off yet

When all the Earth is dust once more
The Angels Up in Heaven
Will still talk of the Battle of Brighton
In the year Twenty Eleven

It took some Tw*t with a Charlton badge to write a little rhyme
and stir up trouble foolishly, and that sir is a crime
but sadly all his bardic skills were nowt much but a farce
you sad clown cu*t, you brighton scum
can stick it up your arse

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

It took some Tw*t with a Charlton badge to write a little rhyme
and stir up trouble foolishly, and that sir is a crime
but sadly all his bardic skills were nowt much but a farce
you sad clown cu*t, you brighton scum
can stick it up your arse

Crofty! Another BBS lemming who couldn't resist signing up to the best discussion board on the net.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Three tremendous posts from you so far, Crofty

Fataddick, top stuff, sir

 

[Crofty]

Crofty! Another BBS lemming who couldn't resist signing up to the best discussion board on the net.

Now, now. Don't get so excited. Any fool kno that our BBS is one of the best in football.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Now, now. Don't get so excited. Any fool kno that our BBS is one of the best in football.

And that's about all you've got left to laud over us really isn't it? Stick to smoking the fags fella.

 

[Crofty]

Crofty! Another BBS lemming who couldn't resist signing up to the best discussion board on the net.

LOL. Have you seen the amount of brighton that get on our boards? Lemmings indeed

 

[Crofty]

And that's about all you've got left to laud over us really isn't it? Stick to smoking the fags fella.

Bombardier Botty my old bum chum! I am merely doing to you what you have done to us for years. Be a sport...there's a love.

 

[Hillian1]

LOL. Have you seen the amount of brighton that get on our boards? Lemmings indeed

No, go away. We don't want your lucky heather, be gone.

 

[MattBackHome]

Heading back to Croydon slums
Broken and upset
They cheered up when they saw their train
Was one not ticked off yet

LOVE it!

 

[Crofty]

No, go away. We don't want your lucky heather, be gone.

Oh the wit, the withering wit.....I am off. You bested me........

 

[Man of Harveys]

Bloody hell, that's good. Post of the year.

 

[Crofty]

Bloody hell, that's good. Post of the year.

It took some Tw*t with a Charlton badge to write a little rhyme
and stir up trouble foolishly, and that sir is a crime
but sadly all his bardic skills were nowt much but a farce
you sad clown cu*t, you brighton scum
can stick it up your arse

Why Thanks! A pleasure....really.

 

[Man of Harveys]

And so the Nigels posted away
Writing crap one after the other
Brilliantly suggesting we were gay
And all spell-checked by their mother

 

[Silent Bob]

There once was a man from Croydon
His stench made people avoid him
He called himself Crofty
His ambitions were lofty
Until the Albion spoiled 'em

 

[Crofty]

wow...both worthy of a gold star...in infant school

 

[Silent Bob]

yeah, top of the class bitch.