Swan

[Meade's Ball]

What would you do if you found a swan in bed with your wife or girlfriend? His wallet is on your bedside table. The picture of you and your wife is face down. She's got a love-peck on her neck and a bagful of broken bread.

 

[Bluejuice]

Nick his wallet innit

 

[Meade's Ball]

Nick his wallet innit

Swan never carries cash. You'd have to forge his CYGNETure.

 

[Pigsy]

She's always liked Marc Bolan, so I'd imagine the act would be as a tribute to him, rather than straight forward infidelity

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

If it was an actual swan I would, of course, be appalled. If any woman of mine went off with any kind of wildfowl I would be devastated. They're heartless bastards and have no sense of commitment, the whole affair would be bound to end in tears.

However...

If it was Zeus returned to earth in the form of a swan, I would be delighted. The last time he tried that trick with a woman he created Helen of Troy.

 

[Hampden Park]

strike him roughly with some sandpaper and watch his head burn

 

[Lokki 7]

I've always harboured the desire to bed 2 birds so I'd be quite pleased.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I've always harboured the desire to bed 2 birds so I'd be quite pleased.

Even if one of them was a man?

 

[Lokki 7]

Even if one of them was a man?

Don't knock it till you've tried it an all that. Would make for a tighter fit I reckon.

 

[Stinky Kat]

What would you do if you found a swan in bed with your wife or girlfriend? His wallet is on your bedside table. The picture of you and your wife is face down. She's got a love-peck on her neck and a bagful of broken bread.

Id stop taking acid

 

[Eggmundo]

I wouldn't go anywhere near it.
It would break your arm with one flap of its wings.

(p.s., just out of interest, how the f*ck did this scenario occur?)

 

[Dandyman]

What would you do if you found a swan in bed with your wife or girlfriend? His wallet is on your bedside table. The picture of you and your wife is face down. She's got a love-peck on her neck and a bagful of broken bread.

Birds ? I ask you & if we so much as look at a passing antelope...

 

[Trufflehound]

If it was an actual swan I would, of course, be appalled. If any woman of mine went off with any kind of wildfowl I would be devastated. They're heartless bastards and have no sense of commitment, the whole affair would be bound to end in tears.

Sounds like someone who's been hen-pecked in their time.

 

[Redhead]

Depends if it was an acutal Swan or Swansea's mascot?

 

[Trufflehound]

strike him roughly with some sandpaper and watch his head burn

Do you have a vesta'd interest in that scenario?

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

I'd be more disappointed if she became a regular at The Swan, to be honest.

 

[Scotty Mac]

id eat the bugger

 

[Trufflehound]

id eat the bugger

Don't you need the Queen's permission to do that?

 

[Cadiz Seagull]

I'd applaud the woman's good taste
A swan? Me, a Swan?, Aw, go on!

 

[Berk (of 'Trapdoor' fame)]

This was probably the same lady from the P's and Q's thread:

'a woman in her 50's dropped some bread in the supermarket yesterday, my 7 year old daughter picked it up for her & the woman just took it & walked off'.

That would explain the broken bread - as I suspect Zeus eats something better than broken bread, he probably prefers Poptarts- thus, I think we resolved that this woman's rightful punishment was to have the bread shoved up her fanny. If there was enough time you could toast it beforehand.