So who's going to Sith Ifrica next year ?

[Billy the Fish]

If you meet a blick Sarth Ifrican, make sure you address him as 'boy'. They love that

 

[Silent Bob]

I was in no way having a go at TMLS.
"If anyone said that about the UK" would equally apply.

Why do you think it makes a difference?

 

[Brian Fantana]

What happened?

We were driving along during the day and we HAD to stop at a junction (due to both traffic congestion and an accident). One minute we were sitting in this queue and the next minute both driver and passenger side windows were smashed by 2 guys who it seemed had appeared from nowhere. They demanded money, wallet, phones and we gave it to them obviously, they then ran away. I dread to think what would have happened if there had been less people around.

 

[Brian Fantana]

blimey, how often do you see her?

Quite a lot actually as she is here studying at the moment.

 

[Nottseagull]

blimey, how often do you see her?

I'll bet he gets really rand-y!

 

[mr sheen]

I was in no way having a go at TMLS.
"If anyone said that about the UK" would equally apply.

Having worked in Mansfield and Worksop I don't think that it's the just the UK's areas with high black populations that are most akin to south african townships in relation to crime/deprivation!

 

[Billy the Fish]

If they tell you not to stop your car at the robots, don't drive round looking for C3PO and R2D2 because they mean the traffic lights.

 

[Nottseagull]

We were driving along during the day and we HAD to stop at a junction (due to both traffic congestion and an accident). One minute we were sitting in this queue and the next minute both driver and passenger side windows were smashed by 2 guys who it seemed had appeared from nowhere. They demanded money, wallet, phones and we gave it to them obviously, they then ran away. I dread to think what would have happened if there had been less people around.

Were they armed?

 

[Safe.]

We were driving along during the day and we HAD to stop at a junction (due to both traffic congestion and an accident). One minute we were sitting in this queue and the next minute both driver and passenger side windows were smashed by 2 guys who it seemed had appeared from nowhere. They demanded money, wallet, phones and we gave it to them obviously, they then ran away. I dread to think what would have happened if there had been less people around.

Indeed. Aen't you advised to take 2 wallets to South Africa, in case of things like that happen?

 

[Brian Fantana]

Were they armed?

Yes, some quite funky looking knives.

Indeed. Aen't you advised to take 2 wallets to South Africa, in case of things like that happen?

Yes, I always take multiple wallets and split my money between them.

 

[Nottseagull]

Having worked in Mansfield and Worksop I don't think that it's the just the UK's areas with high black populations that are most akin to south african townships in relation to crime/deprivation!

In relation to gun crime (unheard of in Mansfield), I think there is a correlation in the UK between areas with a large density of black residents compared with areas like Mansfield and Worksop, in which you will have noticed the (almost) absence of black faces. Did you work for ntl, BTW?

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

I'd avoid rape if I were you, being as its probably the HIV capital of the world

Just a thought - With the high incidence of HIV in SA, what if a mosquito has a good suck of some HIV infected blood, as it must do, and then sinks its proboscis into your skin - surely the risk is the same as getting jabbed with an infected needle

 

[Nottseagull]

Just a thought - With the high incidence of HIV in SA, what if a mosquito has a good suck of some HIV infected blood, as it must do, and then sinks its proboscis into your skin - surely the risk is the same as getting jabbed with an infected needle

I heard something about this on the radio a while back. They think it's possible, but have no confirmed instances.

 

[Wozza]

Just a thought - With the high incidence of HIV in SA, what if a mosquito has a good suck of some HIV infected blood, as it must do, and then sinks its proboscis into your skin - surely the risk is the same as getting jabbed with an infected needle

Oooh, crazy SA scare stories would make a great thread of its own in the run-up to the next WC.

 

[Nottseagull]

Yes, I always take multiple wallets and split my money between them.

You mean in case you get mugged more than once on the same outing??

 

[Brian Fantana]

You mean in case you get mugged more than once on the same outing??

You never know, I have known it happen to a couple of people. I am sure my scare stories are doing much to aid peoples' worries.

 

[Nottseagull]

Oooh, crazy SA scare stories would make a great thread of its own in the run-up to the next WC.

So what else has this thread been about? (appropiately inserts : wozza : )

 

[NS Herald]

Don't bother packing the sun screen - look at today's weather forecast for Joburg - 9 degrees brrrrrrr.....

And don't worry about the crime - there hasn't been a single incident during the current Lions tour..................although thinking about it they are beefy rugby chaps and the footy fans are little weeds by comparison...........on second thoughts - run for the hills

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

I've Never met A Nice South African - sung by Spitting Image

I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru
I've had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in Tinbuktu
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yetti in Nepal
And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall
I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant b***tards
Who hate black people

I once got served in Woolies aften less than four week's wait
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school
I've met a normal merman and a fairly modest German
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers
Who smell like baboons

I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind
I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings
I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths
With no sense of humour - ha ha

I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies
I've had a nice pot noodle but I've never had a poodle
And I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
Because we've never met one either
Except for Breyten Breytenbach and he's emigrated to Paris. (farts)

Yes he's quite a nice South African
And he's hardly ever killed anyone
And he's not smelly at all.
That's why they put him prison.

 

[Gully]

Pretty sure they robbed that song from Micro Disney!!!

Spent a few days in Cape Town back in March, love the place, and will definitely be going back again but not when the worlds footballists are in town.