Short joke thread

[cannedheat]

What's pink and sticks out of the sea,














Mobys Dick.

 

[Norman Potting]

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

 

[Daffy Duck]

What's brown and steaming and comes out of cows?

The Isle of Wight ferry.

 

[chucky1973]

whats green and hard?


A bogey with a flick knife

 

[Publius Ovidius]

what lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers






a quivering wreck

 

[Ringmer bha]

What do school children do on their day off?




Post transfer rumours....

(well they think it's funny....)

 

[Heffle Gull]

What's brown & Runny?








Dame Kelly Holmes

 

[Pumba04]

Two fish in a tank

one says to the other 'you drive, i will fire the gun'

 

[seagullmouse]

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?


Because he was out standing in his field

 

[pasty]

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out Grandads pyjamas?

Grandma

 

[Manx Shearwater]

What's pink and incredibly hard every morning?




The Financial Times crossword.

 

[Daffy Duck]

Why are owls more intelligent than chickens?



Well, you never see Kentucky Fried Owls.

 

[BHAMAN]

What do you call a chav in a box?




Innit

 

[The Large One]

Two parrots on a perch.

One says "Can you smell fish?"

 

[Daffy Duck]

A man sits next to a bear in the cinema and says "what's a bear doing at the movies?"

The bear says "well, I really enjoyed the book".

 

[Norman Potting]

A man sits next to a bear in the cinema and says "what's a bear doing at the movies?"

The bear says "well, I really enjoyed the book".

....Is the winner, with the non PC Kelly Holmes one a close second.

 

[The Sock of Poskett]

Apparently fish are allowed to be monks, but they have to be halibut

 

[happypig]

I had Pelican curry the other night. Lovely food but the bill was huge

 

[Manx Shearwater]

What's the best thing about sh*gg*ng twenty nine year old girls?






There's twenty of them!

 

[driller]

why did the polish man cross the road?

because he stole the chickens job aswell.