School

[Gully]

Ron Tully was my form tutor during my time in the VIth form, the best bit was having a hut with sofas in it, I seem to recall that he also ran a video rental club from a cupboard in the classroom. On one occasion someone had offered him a new (old and redundant) sofa, instead of collecting it in his van, to save petrol, he sent half a dozen of us over to the other side of town to bring it back. We just pushed the thing on its castors through town, posing for pictures outside all the pubs en route, did get some odd looks from the locals though.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I was always a good student. A bit lazy, in truth, but always passed everything with flying colours. Which used to annoy some teachers.

Every report I ever had from age 6 up gave 'A' for attainment, 'C' for effort.

You've given me an 'A' - I clearly put in EXACTLY the right amount of effort.

 

[Nibble]

I went to a military boarding school and it was f***ing awful. All punishments were derided from Military punishments (sqaure bashing, weekend passes revoked, runs, beastings, raking etc) and you could not help but get in trouble there were so many rules. Late out of bed meant gating for weekend, late homewrok meant detention, no questions. Forgot your PE kit? Well you would be doing a 5 miler on Saturday at 6pm. Talking after lights out? 3 mile run in your boxer shorts at 4am the next morning, whatever the weather.

I f***ing hated it.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Sounds like a RIGHT LAUGH!

Seriously, why would any parent subject their child to that kind of regime?

 

[Superphil]

I went to a military boarding school and it was f***ing awful. All punishments were derided from Military punishments (sqaure bashing, weekend passes revoked, runs, beastings, raking etc) and you could not help but get in trouble there were so many rules. Late out of bed meant gating for weekend, late homewrok meant detention, no questions. Forgot your PE kit? Well you would be doing a 5 miler on Saturday at 6pm. Talking after lights out? 3 mile run in your boxer shorts at 4am the next morning, whatever the weather.

I f***ing hated it.

I managed to avoid that, I told my folks at the age of 10 that I wanted to go to boarding school in England, when they duly sent me to Steyning. Thank goodness I did, my brother ended up at a military one in Germany a few years later, and hated it. He did get out after a couple of years when the folks moved back to England. Which one did you go to?

 

[Gully]

Nibble, that sounds like the real army...just add women and beer!

 

[Nibble]

I managed to avoid that, I told my folks at the age of 10 that I wanted to go to boarding school in England, which they duly sent me to. Thank goodness I did, my brother ended up at a military one in Germany a few years later, and hated it. He did get out after a couple of years when the folks moved back to England. Which one did you go to?

I'd rather not say which one it was but it was in Hampshire. I went there from aged ten to age 16 and then got the hell out, went to a normal sixth form college and surprise, surprise never joined the military.

I know a couple of lads who went to Military school in Germany and it sounds even worse than the English ones.

 

[Nibble]

Nibble, that sounds like the real army...just add women and beer!

That would have made it bearable, we got yellow tea and drill instructors!

 

[Cian]

"The school" if you can see it as an institution didn't like me much for various reasons; I'm dyspraxic yet refused to go in to the special needs stream English classes they attempt to smack on you for anything (did the highest level in exams all the way through); I refused to participate in any classes taught by an utter fraudster teacher who was letter "dismissed by mutual consent" ala Mourinho; as he was shagging 4th years; and so on.

Should probably have got loads of detentions except for two reasons - 1: My school didn't have the capacity for everyone they were detaining and 2: the principal, a low-end, scrapes through on last count county councilor was unduly politically afraid of my dad, as he's a senior civil servant (made worse for the principal by his party being in opposition )

Also didn't go in much in 5th/6th year; had to repeat the year to get a maths grade - which I initially didn't get due to TWO inept markers (it had been remarked and heavily upgraded BEFORE I got to inspect the script, and I found on a quick skim through another 8% that'd been missed by the remarker); I've a feeling that as the same markers usually do the same areas of the country every year that (s)he'd f***ed me over the previous year too.

Oddly enough, I didn't really mind the school that much, numpty teacher aside, have a fairly large group of friends from the school days still. There was a nasty, vaguely American clique of preppy gimps I never got along with but I suspect that happens to everyone who's not a preppy gimp.

 

[Captain Haddock]

Capt H had a middling school career. Bit lazy, generally scraped through on deadlines, standards of work etc. Was very good at Eng Lit but didn't do enough with it.

Started at the high brow Broadwater Manor but reverted to a regular state school thereafter and left with only O'levels / CSE's in the end (did a few retakes at Worthing Sixth Form, by then GCSEs and only improved my qualifications years later by going to Uni in my 20s).

At Broadwater Manor they were strict and courtesy of the ultimate battleaxe MRS Best, I ended up getting 'the slipper'...a hard plimsol that was really rather painful when applied with force to the seat of the pants, I can tell yer!

We also had a science teacher who could wiggle his ears amusingly, which was nice.

 

[Uncle Buck]

My house was known as 'The Nice Guys House'. Friendly with most of the different groups in my year.

I never really buried myself in books - Just did enough to get by and get Uni. Played most sports and was a big thespian.

I got gated for being in a pub (caught by the deputy head) without having a pub pass and almost got suspended for throwing up at the christmas dinner and passing out.

That is all fairly mild for that place.

Only ever got caught for once for being trolleyed, on a Saturday night when I was about 15 and the trail of sick I had left behind was a give away.

Went through one phase of making fairly rancid home brew and then selling it to the years below and using the profit to buy beer.

Oh and there was the incident of making home made, well explosives of sorts and detonating them in the squash courts. The bits of metal left in the walls were impressive.

I think the school were as glad as I was when I left at 16 to go to a normal sixth form college.

 

[NMH]

I ran with the bad guys outside of school, and got in several renegade adventures and scrapes.
The bad-guys (all the local coppers knew the names) were either too rebellious to make a go of school, and shrugged off authority. No help, was the fact that our school hired a right prick as headmaster, ex-borstal head who was removed to our school for his own safety; a Mr Whitehead.(he wore a cape and mortar-board hat, bloody tosser).

So, my path through school steered away from the rebels because I too intelligent to be in their low streams. I hung with them still, sometimes, after school.
Top stream all the way. However, I couldn't relate to the 'cool' kids from wealthy homes, and couldn't relate to the spotty swotties (who always seemed somewhat dim too, in many areas of life) - so my pals were those who didn't want to fit in a clique, and were people I saw as somewhat open minded.
The 'cool' kids didn't interract with me because I liked 'black music' and reggae, and only started talking to me when a couple of them found out I also like rock (bet they all embraced Bob Marley later, once his reggae was deemed 'cool' to like!)(hail Bob and Marcia, Harry J, Pioneers!)(not forgetting Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye)

The teacher I respected least, a Mr Playll, was a geography teacher. Because I skipped one of his classes so I could study more for another exam, he told me I'd "never make anything of my life"!
Nice thing to say to a young lad, from a f***ing teacher!
He used to make passes at one or two of the 14yr-old girls, and on our exams he found out he'd set the wrong carriculum for the whole period leading up to our GCE's! Almost NO-ONE passed their geog. 'O'-level !! What an utter KNOB!
I bet Mr Geography never imagined what it's like to actually travel to those places on his maps, live anywhere else, or speak another language once there.

Like almost all of us, I learned more after school, and school did almost nothing to prepare me for work. It's more about social grouping than anything, I think. There are too many distractions, and it's less about personal desires in education.
I passed a Mensa test, but declined to join them (only did the exam as a challenge anyway). I went to one Mensa party, and found some of them to be cliquey, one-upmanship-pers and generally elitist. Sort-of makes y'think about what sort of person wants to join a club, anyway.
I still study, and it's a computer course now. So far, passed 3 for 3....but keeping my head down. I don't know what I'll do with the certification, but it will be good to have it in the back pocket.

 

[Cian]

I

The teacher I respected least, a Mr Playll, was a geography teacher. Because I skipped one of his classes so I could study more for another exam, he told me I'd "never make anything of my life"!

Are all Geography teachers arseholes? Mine for junior cert (GCSE) re-registered me for the lower grade exam as "you'll never pass the higher level one", I re-re-registered myself for the higher level one and....


Got an A

Only got a C in it for leaving cert (A/AS levels) mind but the fact that it has a huge amount of handwritten essays at that level and nobody can read my writing did contribute...

 

[Publius Ovidius]

My schooling was right royally f***ed up. I went to 9 schools as my parents had this fun idea to move every couple of years to various far flung places in the world.

The only real school I hated was in a place called GERMISTON in South Africa. I went to an Afrikaans school and the bastards would only speak Afrikaans to each other...I could only speak a smattering and there was four of us "roineks" and we were treated like the Boer war was all our fault. I was regularily beaten up and the only time I lashed out - after getting hammered by this group of about 10 kids - I caught one of them on his own and set about him. I was dragged infront of the school assembly ( about 500 kids) and given 10 whacks across the backside....a very humiliating experience, but I managed not to cry until I got home and my dad called the police...didnt do any good!

It all stopped when they realised I was a pretty decent fast bowler and put the cricket captain ( who was a racist nazi shit) in hospital with a particularily well aimed fast ball that broke 4 of his ribs.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

That is all fairly mild for that place.

Only ever got caught for once for being trolleyed, on a Saturday night when I was about 15 and the trail of sick I had left behind was a give away.

Went through one phase of making fairly rancid home brew and then selling it to the years below and using the profit to buy beer.

Oh and there was the incident of making home made, well explosives of sorts and detonating them in the squash courts. The bits of metal left in the walls were impressive.

I think the school were as glad as I was when I left at 16 to go to a normal sixth form college.

Sounds familiar. The Second's boys in my year made some homemade Banana wine that could well have been used as an industrial detergent.

I seem to remember hearing about an explosion in the Squash Courts, it may have been that you were part of a school legend!

I remember getting sent into the room of Nick Hayday (you may remember him?) and when he was on the receiving end of a blow job (from a girl I might add). I got the beating of my life after that from him and the Ghaleigh brothers. It should have twigged, when I was told to go in without knocking.

 

[Uncle Buck]

Sounds familiar. The Second's boys in my year made some homemade Banana wine that could well have been used as an industrial detergent.

I seem to remember hearing about an explosion in the Squash Courts, it may have been that you were part of a school legend!

I remember getting sent into the room of Nick Hayday (you may remember him?) and when he was on the receiving end of a blow job (from a girl I might add). I got the beating of my life after that from him and the Ghaleigh brothers. It should have twigged, when I was told to go in without knocking.

Not sure if you remember James Folkes. Anyway he got suspended for stealing cider from the music school which had been purchased for some event. No great shakes I guess, until we found out that he had got in, but climbing on to the roof, peeling the lead back around the old sky line windows, removing the glass and lowering himself in with climbing equipment. Somehow getting out the same way and replacing the glass etc.

He only got caught as he was so pissed and was stumbling around with one of the missing bottles.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Not sure if you remember James Folkes. Anyway he got suspended for stealing cider from the music school which had been purchased for some event. No great shakes I guess, until we found out that he had got in, but climbing on to the roof, peeling the lead back around the old sky line windows, removing the glass and lowering himself in with climbing equipment. Somehow getting out the same way and replacing the glass etc.

He only got caught as he was so pissed and was stumbling around with one of the missing bottles.

Quality! I remember the name and think his brother was meant to join my year, but never turned up. Someone got suspended for asbseiling over the Chapel when I was there, but that seems very tame in comparison!

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

Not sure if you remember James Folkes. Anyway he got suspended for stealing cider from the music school which had been purchased for some event. No great shakes I guess, until we found out that he had got in, but climbing on to the roof, peeling the lead back around the old sky line windows, removing the glass and lowering himself in with climbing equipment. Somehow getting out the same way and replacing the glass etc.

He only got caught as he was so pissed and was stumbling around with one of the missing bottles.

That boy is a legend.

 

[DIFFBROOK]

I tended to do just enough to get me through school work and exams. I was on the fringes of things, until 6th form. Then I discovered booze. Me and my mate Lee Hopkins, Michael Gavin used to drink on a park bench in Dyke Road Park. Still made geography easier to live with (Mr Goldup at Carinal Newman)

Best Teacher there, was Mr Dadswell. I remember going to a business lecture in Brighton and Lee, Mike and myself borrowing some money off him as we didn't have enough bus fare. We spent his cash on cider and got pissed for his end of day registration. God did we get into some bother with that one. Makes me laugh as I type.

 

[Uncle Buck]

Quality! I remember the name and think his brother was meant to join my year, but never turned up. Someone got suspended for asbseiling over the Chapel when I was there, but that seems very tame in comparison!

Not sure he had a younger brother, the elder one was at somewhere like KES Whitely.

When you were there were Gibbs and Fields third form dorms still joined by that rather ineffective fire door or had they finally replaced it with one that could not be accessed without it showing?