Online Dating, advice required.

[optimus prime]

Well make friends in Brighton then before you worry about girlfriends, you're 17 you should not be needing to meet ropey girls off the Internet, you should be doing that down oceanas or something.

Okay, will you be my friend?

Feeling awkward?

That makes 2 of us.

Google tells me Oceanas is a nightclub, which means no entry to 17 year olds & I'll look like a complete durk if I went in there on my own.

 

[nwgull]

Online dating is great if you're a man working in a male dominated environment, or vice versa, and want to make a change from meeting birds when you're pissed up on a Friday or Saturday night. However, as a 17 year old you should easily be able to establish a good mixed social circle where most people aren't already in comitted relationships and I don't think you'll find many 17-18 year old women on online dating.

Whatever you do down here, whether it be college or a job, you're certain to meet new mates. I'd go about it that way.

 

[Jam The Man]

25-35 that rules you out then

Cheeky sod! I'm still only 34 ... just!

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

I smell spoof account a MILE off.

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

Okay, will you be my friend?

Feeling awkward?

That makes 2 of us.

Google tells me Oceanas is a nightclub, which means no entry to 17 year olds & I'll look like a complete durk if I went in there on my own.

Durrrppp, you'll meet people at college uni whatever and go from there, you sound like you want to come down here with a ready made girlfriend. Life ain't a tick box exercise to happiness you know. Come down make friends at uni and see what happens.

 

[optimus prime]

Durrrppp, you'll meet people at college uni whatever and go from there, you sound like you want to come down here with a ready made girlfriend. Life ain't a tick box exercise to happiness you know. Come down make friends at uni and see what happens.

Missed college for this year, will have to enrol for next. Moving down with a ready made gf is exactly the plan I had in mind.

Two responses to my uploaded profile already, so perhaps not such a bad idea after all.

Still looking for details of a licensed venue with lax id policy, any info much appreciated.

PS Are we friends now deletebeepbeepbeep? I may need a wingman.

 

[sam86]

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

It doesn't sound like you need a wingman, stud- go crazy.

 

[optimus prime]

It doesn't sound like you need a wingman, stud- go crazy.

Veiled brush off.

 

[Benelux Seagull]

Sadly I've given this a whirl a couple of times when I've hit a dry spell.

Be prepaired to listen as your date reels off a never ending list of her previous partners faults. In addition look interested as she details each and every slight they ever commited.

Only ever give out your mobile phone number, never your land line number or address until you are sure they're not a raving psycho.


Best of luck & let us know how you get on.

 

[Nibble]

Distinct whiff of a wind up but if you are serious then I would say before the dating site thing try and find a job where you are likely to meet people of the same age. When I moved to Brighton aged 19 I knew one person here but took a job in a record shop wher ethere was about 30 people all the same age, all into pubs socialising etc and it was the best thing I could have done. It was like being at college again.

 

[Colossal Squid]

Has anyone else seen this faceparty site?

SURELY it's a spoof, no?

Remember to Feed da Kat!
txt "FEED KAT" to 88500

Sometimes when we're busy masturbating, or hard at work on our paper rounds, we forget to feed the little kittlespoon!

Thankfully Ronnie Lickamoo (Anarchy Tower's resident Einstein) invented ze "Electronic Kat Feeding Device"...which is badly wired to our telephone (with bits of tin foil).

We have revoked ourseves of all responsibility, so this kitty's stomach belongs only to ur conscience. If it's feeding time, txt "FEED KAT" to 88500 and watch the machine kick into action: the butler bell will ring and the disco lights will dance, to grab Bovril's attention. You may even witness his violent feeding frenzy - as he ruthlessly tears each nugget of Go-Kat to it's peril.

AND

SKAT CAM!
txt "SKAT MEMBERNAME" to 88500

Nothing could give you a warmer feeling than watching Bovril soil his litter. Trust us, it's funny ...he has this strange little ceremony he performs (he is training to be a witch doctor).

Obviously we don't expect you to sit here all day ...waiting ...and waiting, so sign up for Skat Alerts: get notified when Bovril enters his litter tray, and if ur not around at the time? We'll send secret videos to your in-box, so you can watch them again and again – perhaps with a glass of sherry and a lovely box of chocolates.

txt "SKAT MEMBERNAME" to 88500 for 3 days of filthy pleasures!

Somebody PLEASE tell me this is NOT for real...

 

[sir albion]

Plenty of retards on here who can't pull birds i would presume,so maybe your social circle could start here.

17thought you was in your 30's

 

[John Bumlick]

if you do get a date, for christ's sake don't show up late...

 

[Lush]

I'd suggest NOT using the name of a toy much beloved by 6 - 8 year old boys as a user name for a start off.

 

[pasty]

This thread is about as genuine as a 9 bob note

 

[smudge]

17

I could do with details of a licensed venue where I can get a drink without ID.

Seven f***ing teen going on dating site, WTF

 

[optimus prime]

Thanks to all who offered advice. I was really after somebody who could give some guidance re correct online dating site etiquette.

However I've received a good number of responses to my posted profile & it's my intention to reply to all. In terms of etiquette it seems it's a case of anything goes. I have to say I was surprised by the number of requests for intimate photographs.

I decided to oblige but of course ensured I presented myself in the best possible light. The plan was to take a picture of the requested item from above while it was on the kitchen table. I then had a master stroke, we have a number of those tiny coke cans they give out on flights in the house (about 1/3 normal size). I decided to position this next to my manhood. From above there is no way to tell it's not a normal 330ml size can and if used as a reference it's rather flattering.

Anyway it seems to have done the trick, within minutes of sending the photograph I received a reply. The candidate in question would like to meet & I have been instructed to "bang her like a naughty drum" & in addition I'm in structed to do this "until she's unable to remember her own name".

** A word of advice to fellow board members, I posted a link in the OP from plenty of fish, Please be warned user "dirty moi" listed as "seeking intimate encounter" "Wanted: Guy to Join Us
Yup, what it says on the tin. We're looking for a guy 25-35 who wants to watch us getting it on and join in. (If you just want to watch that is fine, we love being watched.) Me: 27, curvy size 10, eag Brighton England".
http://www.plentyoffish.com/basicsearch.aspx?iama=m&seekinga=f&minage=18&maxage=30&searchtype=9&starsign=&ethnicity=0&country=92&state=&City=brighton&miles=35&z_code=&viewtype=1&imagesetting=0&sorting=0&cmdSearch=Go+Fishing&Profession=&Interests=&save=1
She says her ideal 1st date is being flung around the bedroom, seems a sweet deal until you realise her bf doesn't just want to watch. In fact Scott is keen to participate & is keen on a trip up the trades mans entrance, dirty moi is not the intended recipient. If he gets his way he'll leave your arse looking like a japanese flag.

I'm also a little worried about user "samsamsam1" http://www.plentyoffish.com/basicsearch.aspx?iama=m&minage=18&maxage=30&city=brighton&seekinga=f&ethnicity=0&sorting=0&miles=35&searchtype=9&country=92&imagesetting=0&page=2&count=129
Alarm bells started to ring when I read on her profile that her ambition is to own a donkey sanctuary. I suggested that perhaps we should go out for something to eat & asked her what sort of stuff she liked. She mentioned that she was keen on "Uncle Dunc" which threw me a little. However her e-mail address contains the text I_luv_gentlemans_relish whichleads me to believe in fact she would prefer an evening indoors rather than a conventional date. I was further put off by intimate photographs I received by e-mail. Unkept would be an understatment I would imagine it resembled Terry Waite's allotment after his spell chained to a radiator in Beiruit. Something like a horse's collar, a real B52 (well shot up).

Still looking for details of a local licensed venue which is lax on ID, any help much appreciated.

 

[GlennMurray]

I will have a pint of whatever you are drinking!!!

 

[The Spanish]

your going to be rolling in the pussy man!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMVAc0pgnOw