Ollie Reynolds in Emmerdale

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

He's given you an answer. I'm not sure how to top this. We've speculated over the race to sign up Ollie Reynolds and now BG's dinner. I know, BG, could you tell us what you're WEARING right now?

I'm going to guess a pair of corduroy trousers and a chequered jumper. Am I right?

No way. Not at this hour. Got his jim-jams on, has BG.

 

[BensGrandad]

Grey trousers and a Brighton polo shirt and have a glass of London Pride in my hand while wife is watching that Kerry Katona program on sky+. Nlow you can see why I am bored, Any more?

 

[BensGrandad]

Possibly pay homage to FDM in Costa Haywards Heath. Mind you he doesnt use his Audie so much these days usually his wifes Peugeot 307 with very similar personal number plates.

 

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

Grey trousers and a Brighton polo shirt and have a glass of London Pride in my hand while wife is watching that Kerry Katona program on sky+. Nlow you can see why I am bored, Any more?

Aren't you a bit chilly in just that? And yes, yes I can see exactly why you're bored. Kerry Katona is not only an assault on the intelligence of good people like ourselves but she's also GBH on our eyes and ears too with the way she looks and talks.

Darts tomorrow or maybe some low-level football? Reserves or non-league?

 

[BensGrandad]

No Darts last night but we had a bye. To add insult to injury the club ran out of London Pride so had to make do with Marstons Pedigree could have been worse could have been Harveys.

 

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

Possibly pay homage to FDM in Costa Haywards Heath..

... or maybe some low-level football? Reserves or non-league?

Back of the net!

So BG. Tell me about supporting the Albion for the 50 or 60 years you've been doing it. Best player...best match...best experience....funniest moment.. you must have a few tales to tell.

 

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

BG, what's your favourite Christmas song and why?

Much better subject. Yeah, favourite Christmas song.

I'm going for something by a crooner. Bing Crosby, Perry Como, Nat King Cole. BG's old school in his music tastes.

 

[BensGrandad]

Best player on ability Mark Lawrenson
Best Player on contribution on the field Nobby Horton
Best Player for service given Peter O'Sullivan.
Favourite match either cup semi final at Highbury or Div 2 promotion match to Div 1 at Newcastle. Or even the promotion match to get us our first ever promotion from Div III South.
Funniest moments George Parris coming up behind the keeper to score a goal when he put it down to kick it or us losing at home in the cup 4 -0 to Walton & Hersham. They scored a lucky goal and every time we put them under pressure they broke away and scored.

 

[BensGrandad]

BG, what's your favourite Christmas song and why?

I have many but like Stay another Day by East 17. No particular reason.

 

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

Best player on ability Mark Lawrenson
Best Plkayer on contribution on the field Nobby Horton
Best Player for service given Peter O'Sullivan.
Favourite match either cup semi final at Highbury on Div 2 promotion match to Div 1 at Newcastle. Or even the promotion match to get us our first ever promotion from Div III South.
Funniest moments George Parris coming up behind the keeper to score a goal when he put it down to kick it or us losing at home in the cup 4 -0 to Walton & Hersham. They scored a lucky goal and every time we put them under pressure they broke away and scored.

My choice:

Best player on ability - Zamora (I was too young for Ward era, really and can't think of anyone else in the intervening years that came close to Bobby). Maybe slaphead Clive Walker. He was magic.
Contribution - Fozzie. The bloke would have died for us on the pitch. A true legend.
Best player for service - Chappers. Loved watching him for us.
Favourite match - THAT Liverpool match, for me.
Funniest moment - Johnny Byrne's miss in front of the North Stand when he played for whoever it was.

Favourite Christmas song - Little Donkey. Brings me nearly to tears when I hear it sung correctly, by which I mean slightly off pitch and too high a key by schoolchildren.

 

[BensGrandad]

It wouldnt do for us to all like the same.

 

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

I have many but like Stay another Day by East 17. No particular reason.

Blimey. That one was not expected.

Okay - you've got the option of a night out on the piss in Findon Village with Prince Philip or a candlelit dinner for two at some poncey restaurant in Crowborough with Helen Mirren (Don't worry. Your missus will never find out. Mum's the word on NSC). Which one would you pick?

 

[BensGrandad]

I was born and bred in Worthing so do not know of any decent places in Findon although the Gun was a decent pub when I was a youngster. My son lives in Crowborough and he says he cant find a decent chippie yet alone a decent restaurant. So lets comprise and go for a night on the piss at The Sunny Restaurant in Worthing with Prince Philip and he might recommend me for a knighthood so I would become Sir BensGrandad.

 

[Joey Deacon's Disco Suit]

The Gun's alright still. Don't think I've ever been to Crowborough so I was guessing there was some posh nosh place there. Incorrectly, as it happens.

So you'd turn down a romantic night with Dame Helen for a night on the razz with Philip? Mind you, I reckon Prince Philip would love a good night out on the razz, game of dominos, saveloy and chips on the way home.

Okay - here's another: Live in Luton or lose two fingers?

 

[BensGrandad]

I would like to ask BG if he could have f***ed 20 more women or earnt £100,000 more during his life what he would choose?

Nearly everybody of my age would have earnt well in excess of £100k even if they had been on the dole for most of their working life and I was a teenager in the 'swinging 60s'. So the same probaly applies to most, especially men that have served in the forces abroad.