Office Buzzwords

[Trufflehound]

The word "functionality" makes me want to cry.

The word deadline does that to me.

The sight of a customs officer pulling on a pair of rubber gloves and saying "drop your trousers and bend over" does that to me.

 

[Springal]

moving forwards

and

roadmaps [as in showing you the road maps of our future developements]

 

[Blackadder]

Heads Up was being used when I was in the RN back in the early eighties, so was around before the buzz word madness really got going.

Early 80s? Must confess that the first time I heard it was last year. We work in IT and last year we had some external contractors who used the phrase all the time. Now the term is used a lot by some of our latest recruits. Those of us who have been with the firm a long time refuse to say it (unless in a sarcastic tone)

 

[unnameable]

Mission statements are another American blight on our corporate life.

 

[fosters headband]

The one that really got to me was " You have got to think out of the box"

I don't want to be in their friggin box in the first place.

 

[cheshunt seagull]

Operating in a customer oriented total quality environment I often find myself
parking issues which are not core to our mission to concentrate on picking the low hanging fruit before standing outside the box to define new paradigms. I warn you that this often involves some black-hatting.

 

[fisons]

I spend most of my life trying to avoid becoming a 2 D hedgehog which is ok compared with being asked to step up to the plate, throw a curve ball or come from left field by some bird from HR whose never seen a baseball game in her life.

 

[fisons]

Oh yes - swimlaning - there is a great one much loved of the Process freaks.

 

[Voice of Reason]

Caling something "pre enjoyed" rather than second hand!

 

[medicine man]

All great suggestions, guys, shall we pop then in the fridge, and snack on them later?

 

[NMH]

Try and legitimately use 'Spanking the monkey'

"We've got to just keep on spanking the monkey until we hit our targets"

Erm..... "1066 was so busy spanking the monkey, he grabbed a kleenex too late, and did not hit the target"