My wife's black pussy

[Jim D]

New pie at the Amex ?
I'd try it.

Should go down well with any peruvians we may have visiting...
BBC News - Peru: Campaigning for the rights of cats

 

[SeagullinExile]

Put it under her pillow for a wind up.

 

[watsongooal]

Superglue the dead cats head next to the alive cats head. That wil freak her out.

 

[Nibble]

I really need a stiff drink, i'm an absolute wreck! Just had a neighbour knock at the door, telling me a black cat like my wife's was dead in the middle of the street.

I ran out to find a cat smashed to bits, i picked him up sobbing my eyes out and took him back inside the house, where i got a towel and lay Felini down on the kitchen floor.

Crying and shaking, i went to fridge to get a stella to calm my nerves as i had to phone my wife and tell her that her beloved cat for ten years was dead.
I sat down and necked half a can in one, when i felt a familiar rubbing against the back of my legs. I jumped up and screamed the f***ing house down, spilling stella all over me.

Felini is alive and well, purring away with his tongue up his arse, which is great news.

What am i going to do with the dead one?

Disappointed. I genuinely thought when reading the whole of this it was going to be a joke. In answer to your question, put it in the bin, it's a cat, they die.

 

[gripper stebson]

I say hide Felini for a couple of days, then release him and then tell your wife you have seen Felini's ghost on the landing. Hey Presto you then have a ghost cat. How cool is that?

 

[Nibble]

I say hide Felini for a couple of days, then release him and then tell your wife you have seen Felini's ghost on the landing. Hey Presto you then have a ghost cat. How cool is that?

Haha! I like it. I would turn the dead cat into a puppet and film a series of Randall and Hopkirk Deceased type cat detective programme using both the dead and alive cat and become an overnight webternet sensation. But you must do what you feel is right.

 

[Puppet Master]

RIP Random Cat

 

[gripper stebson]

Haha! I like it. I would turn the dead cat into a puppet and film a series of Randall and Hopkirk Deceased type cat detective programme using both the dead and alive cat and become an overnight webternet sensation. But you must do what you feel is right.

I agree mate... and what a fantastic title 'Felinni's Ghost' would be.

 

[Nibble]

I agree mate... and what a fantastic title 'Felinni's Ghost' would be.

Perfect. OP, can we have your cats please, dead or alive? If you let me and Gripper handle your pussy we'll make you into a star.

 

[seagully]

Perfect. OP, can we have your cats please, dead or alive? If you let me and Gripper handle your pussy we'll make you into a star.

I fear that in sharing the plot of this series on the internet, you've let the cat out of the bag and paved the way for a glut of copycat programmes to try and milk your success for all it's worth...

 

[SK1NT]

Hide Felini, and put the dead one by the front door. Let your wife throw an eppy when she comes home, and leave her sobbing in the front room for five minutes. Put the dead one in the wheelie bin, then walk in the front room cuddling Felini.

Hey presto, you've done a Green Mile !

She'll love that shit.

haha f***ing brilliant... it's comments like this that make NSC.

 

[Cappers]

I feel sorry for the owners of the dead pussy. Best thing to do is take a few pictures of it and post them on lamp posts, trees, walls etc around your neighbourhood entitled "found...." etc with your details, and sooner or later, the relieved owners will come knocking.

 

[Easy 10]

If you do the Green Mile thing, for extra authenticity remember to well up a bit and go:

"a...a.....awful tired now boss"

then shuffle off to bed.

 

[SK1NT]

If you do the Green Mile thing, for extra authenticity remember to well up a bit and go:

"a...a.....awful tired now boss"

then shuffle off to bed.

I is afraid of the dark boss

 

[Easy 10]

I is afraid of the dark boss

That'd do it.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Seeing as winter is almost upon us couldn't you use the pelt to make a nice pair of gloves for a child?

Or you could stick a bit of the meat in the microwave and then share with NSC whether cat really does taste like lamb....

 

[wehatepalace]

I surprised crazy cat man's not been on this thread yet, condeming you all to a life in hell, for daring to make a joke about a dead cat

 

[seagully]

I surprised crazy cat man's not been on this thread yet, condeming you all to a life in hell, for daring to make a joke about a dead cat

Was about to post the same thing!

 

[Gazwag]

I surprised crazy cat man's not been on this thread yet, condeming you all to a life in hell, for daring to make a joke about a dead cat

It usually takes him all morning to clear the bedroom of dead mice and dead birds from the previous night

 

[TheMajor]

If you do the Green Mile thing, for extra authenticity remember to well up a bit and go:

"a...a.....awful tired now boss"

then shuffle off to bed.

I did that once for a laugh but those fecking bees dont half sting your mouth.